When do you tell them about Kid?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-14-2008
When do you tell them about Kid?
11
Fri, 03-14-2008 - 2:39pm

I am 24 (25 in may)

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-10-2007
Fri, 03-14-2008 - 3:12pm
If you talk on the phone you could mention it or on a date when you are going through the whole 'describe yourself' drill.

April

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-09-2005
Fri, 03-14-2008 - 3:29pm

I always think it's best to be upfront.

Cat
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Fri, 03-14-2008 - 6:09pm
If he calls bring it up right away in general conversation. Then let him decide what he wants to do with that. One thing to note about guys that age is that they are usually not ready for a serious relationship - so I guess you have to decide what you want - or see what he is about. Good luck and welcome and keep us posted.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-10-2008
Sat, 03-15-2008 - 7:15pm

I always tell men upfront that I am a mother if I think I might be interested in them or they might be interested in me. I would hate to waste anyone's time by going out with them when they have no interest in dating a SM. I also do not want to waste my own time dating men who simply are not up to dating a woman with children.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-14-2008
Sat, 03-15-2008 - 10:10pm

Thank you all for your replies. I am glad I found this group, you all have helped me to make the decision to tell him as soon as we have a "real conversation." I thought he would call me last night since I had given

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2005
Sat, 03-15-2008 - 11:01pm

Wait, wait, wait!


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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-21-2007
Sun, 03-16-2008 - 1:19am

Ah just a suggestion. I wouldn't explain that he wont be meeting the kids till he actually wants to, and you want him to. Otherwise it sounds sort of freaky, that you are thinking that far ahead (although it's what you have to do).

At this point, I would just throw the kids into a normal conversation about what you did that day etc. "Oh, got the kids ready for school, then headed off to work, etc" Thats a pretty simple way to let a person know that you have kids, without making a big issue of it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-24-2006
Sun, 03-16-2008 - 6:23pm

I have to agree with Alison, bring it up casually that you have a son, but don't push the "relationship" thing.

I usually just mention that I need to find someone to watch my son, have a play date with my son (but would be glad to go out on a different date), etc. My son is the center of my life, and men I date have to accept that.

Another word of caution...some men say they don't mind that you have a child/children...as long as you put them before your child/children. I dated one guy who wanted to go out every weekend but couldn't understand that my son got me at least every other weekend. He liked me but couldn't handle sharing me with my own son! Of course this was a guy who had never had kids of his own...thus didn't understand the special bond a parent has with a child!

My son doesn't date, so I don't have to worry so much about males passing through his life like a revolving door. My son does know I date, however. My other kids also know I date (they are all adults, though) and are very supportive by taking care of my youngest when I do want to go out.

Hope things work out for you...good luck!

Kristy

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2005
Sun, 03-16-2008 - 6:31pm

"Another word of caution...some men say they don't mind that you have a child/children...as long as you put them before your child/children."


Or they will say they LOVE kids and WANT kids... but just not ready made ones that they may have to be a role model to...




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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-14-2008
Tue, 03-18-2008 - 10:16am

I realized what you were trying to tell me and how I should bring it up. So I took your advise (that's what I am here for, right?) and while we were in our conversation last night (first real conversation, on the phone) he asked me who do I live with, I said my mother and my son. He said, oh you have a son. I said yes, I do, he is two. He said that's cool. I love being around kids and

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