When flirting seems to lead no where....

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-14-2003
When flirting seems to lead no where....
8
Wed, 04-06-2005 - 12:42pm
Here is a question for you. So you see this guy, you flirt and flirts back. You know he is single, he knows you are single. And then......nothing. This doesn't bother me so much when it is a person I've only met once, it is more annoying when it happens with guys I come in contact with over and over. Is it worth keeping up the flirting?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2005
Wed, 04-06-2005 - 12:50pm
I would say that if you are not looking for anything from the person you flirt with and it will not bother you if it never goes anywhere besides keeping your "flirting muscles" in shape, then it's ok to keep it up.
However, I would caution not to let your heart get involved in a flirtation if you think it's going nowhere. I did and it is just about all I can do to keep from losing my mind with the inconsistencies of this "pseudo-relationship".
I hope this helps some.
All the Best,
jean
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2005
Wed, 04-06-2005 - 12:54pm

For some guys (and women) flirting means nothing more than flirting. It stokes their ego. My brother once said that for some men, just thinking that every woman they meet wants them is enough.


I know in the reverse that some guys just visibly deflate when you stop the flirting cycle, or some of them just decide you don't exist.


So if you enjoy the flirting, continue...if you don't...drop them.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-25-2004
Wed, 04-06-2005 - 3:17pm
It never hurts to flirt!! Get a tougher skin and have fun!! Practice never hurt anyone!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-14-2003
Wed, 04-06-2005 - 3:32pm
I don't mind the flirting. I am just starting to notice that a lot of guys have no ***** (guts) when it comes to just asking a woman out. I noticed this with guys who seem interested in me AND with my friends. It's weird but sometimes I feel like I am the more aggressive one. EXCEPT I have a rule that I don't ask guys out. Just an observation.
Avatar for cl_beckty
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Wed, 04-06-2005 - 4:03pm

I've met men that flirted to NO END with me...and NEVER followed through. I even found out later from one I can remember specifically (my sister is now his sister in law and told me this) that he was crazy about me but that I seemed SO confident that he was intimidated by me! By ME!?!?! I found that hilarious.


You know what? If they didn't have the kahunas to ask me out, they don't deserve a fun evening with me. Period.


I did date ONE of these guys (I used to be constantly attracted to these types. Now, looking back, I guess I knew inherently I'd have the reigns in the relationship, if I could just GET THEM TO ASK ME OUT!!!! LOL) I made it SO SO SO easy for him to ask, almost pushed him into it. We dated for about 2 months. It sucked. I made all first moves, or they didn't get made. He was B-O-R-I-N-G and in the end broke up with me for reasons he refused to share. I think, in observing his behavior, that he was in-the-closet gay (or at least bi, as he did seem to have some interest in me) Eh. Good riddance.


But my DH? Shoot, he barrelled his way into my life like a steam roller. I NEVER had to guess how he felt or what he was thinking. In some ways, it can be slightly intimidating. But I LOVE it.


Have fun with the flirtations. Get better at it. But the guys that don't get around to asking you out would be a complete waste of time for you. Trust me. You'd not enjoy them.

Becky

Becky

 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-14-2003
Wed, 04-06-2005 - 4:07pm
Thanks Becky! I guess I just have to wait for the guy who does it all to get my attention! LOL!
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-25-2004
Wed, 04-06-2005 - 4:54pm

I think they enjoy flirting and it strokes their ego when someone of the opposite sex pays attention to them. But the reasons they don't ask you out can be many - they like someone else, you are not their type, they don't want a relationship or they are afraid of rejection. If they don't ask then they are not worthy of your time.

But it is fun to flirt - please don't lose heart!! :-)

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-04-2005
Wed, 04-06-2005 - 9:35pm

Mixedupmom
Thank you for posting on this subject because I often wonder about this kind of thing myself and I also probably wouldnt ask a man out. It was helpful to get everyone's responses.

Amy