when/how to say ILY

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-15-2008
when/how to say ILY
46
Wed, 08-13-2008 - 5:06pm

ok - question for ya'll :-)


I am struggling desperately - Its on my mind alot so I know it's something I am going to have to take care of.

JH

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-06-2008
Thu, 08-14-2008 - 10:55am

Alison sure is pushy for details.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2005
Thu, 08-14-2008 - 10:57am

LOL! You know it!!!

Hey- I only see my sweetie once a month or so... I have to live vicariously through others!

You may get an email too! :P

The boy

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Avatar for mhash
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Thu, 08-14-2008 - 11:11am

The author of "The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate" says people feel most loved in one of five ways: quality time, words of affirmation, gifts, acts of service, and physical touch. I find that to be true. I also know that I tend to GIVE love in one way (acts of service) but FEEL loved in another (touch then quality time, affirmation, acts of service, then lastly gifts).

I have learned that "love" means different things to different people so sometimes saying "I love you" is loaded because there is that whole "If you love me then you would ...." thing. We were all raised differently and how we felt loved or not when we were growing up colors what ILY means or what we want it to mean.

Plus I think most guys think that saying ILY is tantamount to giving a ring and a lifetime commitment so hence the hesitancy?

Mark





We're fools whether we dance or not, so we might as well dance. ~Japanese Proverb







iVillage Member
Registered: 05-06-2008
Thu, 08-14-2008 - 11:21am
I am sure you'll forgive me if I don't respond until sometime Sunday, later! LOL!
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2007
Thu, 08-14-2008 - 11:23am

AND - - He volunteered to take me to see Sex and the City!!!!


That man LOVES you.


~Pacific~
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2007
Thu, 08-14-2008 - 11:33am

I'm in the same boat, Moon. I like to hear it.. those workds mean a lot to me and sort of makes me feel evreything is OK. Luckily BE is the same way, he like to hear it and say it.


~Pacific~
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2008
Thu, 08-14-2008 - 1:16pm

I've read the book recently, and have discovered that I receive love in Quality Time and Acts of Service.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2008
Thu, 08-14-2008 - 1:26pm

I would LOVE to hear ILY, but..... after hearing it daily for 20+ yrs and then still getting cheated on, I sure don't put much stock in words alone anymore.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2008
Thu, 08-14-2008 - 1:31pm

She didnt wait until Saturday night!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2004
Thu, 08-14-2008 - 1:52pm
"I would LOVE to hear ILY, but..... after hearing it daily for 20+ yrs and then still getting cheated on, I sure don't put much stock in words alone anymore.

~shrimpy

"A man who wants something will find a way; a man who doesn't will find an excuse." ~Stephen Dolley Jr.

~<