Where do you meet men?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-06-2003
Where do you meet men?
7
Thu, 03-03-2005 - 9:33am

Hi guys...

I am new here, and pretty much feel like I will never date again. I am 28 years old with an 8 year old and 2 year old twins. That will scare off just about any man, huh? Lol!

I work full time, and only have free time every other weekend (and even then, not much as we haven't transitioned into the kids staying overnight at my STBX's home yet).

The problem is, I don't have ANY single female friends to go out with to even meet men! All my friends are married with children. When I don't have my kids, I am out shopping for stuff for the kids or hanging out with my friends and their children.

I just separated last summer and am not officially divorced yet, so I am not in a rush ... but I feel pretty hopeless that I will ever be able to meet anyone to date.

Any tips or inspirational stories? Lol ... TIA!

Kelly

Avatar for myprecioustwo
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2003
Thu, 03-03-2005 - 3:53pm

Welcome Kelly!
Glad you joined us on the board. We have some really great ladies who give great ideas to of where to meet men. Best place to start is with activities you enjoy doing. Then, the single mother/parents groups in your town or city. Also church, hardware stores and Phoenix Kim has a great place she told us about on the internet that I checked out, but I don't have it on this computer yet. It's a place where you can find all the organizations that you are interested in, including singles groups for your town or city, I've signed up for most of them, so when I return to Texas I can start meeting people right away. Kim, can you give that one address to us again?! I thought it was terrific.

I have always agreed to what most of the women will tell you, learn to enjoy your life alone, enjoy being you and enjoy your freedom and good things will happen to you. Don't look to find a man, he'll find you, when he see's you are independent and enjoying your life. Honestly, it'll happen.

We have two moms here with twins and both know what it's like. Right, Donna!? Would love to hear more about your kids and you. Hope you stick around! Right Ladies?

Big hugs to you!

P.S.: Quite a few of us have done the Internet thing, but weren't happy with it. I still play around with it, but not seriously and others have met their Significant Others on the internet. I think it really depends if your lucky or not to find someone special, but this is in every aspect of the dating scene. You won't meet the man of your life, overnight, but it will eventually happen. I've been waiting patiently and impatiently for over 4yrs and still waiting. It's ok, now I am happy being on my own, but it was a rough 4yrs to get their.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-25-2004
Thu, 03-03-2005 - 6:25pm

I can totally relate to what you are saying. I think it just takes time to cultivate a network of friends.

Having a hobby and activities for you is important - and a great way to meet people. I participate in a lot of exercise - biking, swimming, running - so I meet a lot of people that way.

Also, I have quieted down somewhat for my wanting to go out all the time and be on a date all the time. I have spent the last 2 years just developing my independence and putting my life in a great place. I have worked on my business and remodeled my house. Cleaned all the closets - stuff like that. I have also shopped and put my wardrobe together. And I have read a lot of books on relationships.

I am having a lot of fun with my single younger babysitters - they have been great at helping me shop and we have had fun going out too.

Welcome to our board and good luck - you will meet some great women here and I hope you stay and share your stories with us.

Cheers!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Thu, 03-03-2005 - 6:35pm

Welcome!

First thing I had to do after my divorce was make some new friends! My married girlfriends, I either lost in my divorce, or weren't allowed to hang out with me due to their insecure husbands, and I didn't have any single girlfriends at that time. I ran into an old friend I used to work with - she was going through a divorce, too - and we clicked. I started inviting myself out with the single girls and guys at work (I worked in a HUGE hotel/casino - 3,000 coworkers - I HIGHLY recommend it!) I joined a book club (confession - the best person I met at the book club was a 69 year old married man - but he and his wife did become great friends to me!! LOL!) and I played co-ed volleyball on a city league. It takes some time - but have patience - making new friends will happen!

Where I met my now husband? A bar. Yep. A bar. I worked with a group of professionals - and every Friday night we would go to different bars around the city for Happy Hour. It was ALWAYS so much fun! One particular Friday night - my coworker (not really a good friend - I barely knew her at that time) told me I HAD to go. Girls' night. HAD to go. My best friend was flying in from San Diego later that Friday night - and I wanted to get off work, go home, nap, get ready, pack (my best friend and I were checking into a hotel so we could spend the weekend partying on the Las Vegas strip - where I live - without worrying about driving anywhere - AND - to lay by the beautiful hotel pool! LOL!) and go get my girlfriend. No, no, no - had to meet the group out. ONE DRINK! ONE HOUR! After she had all of our coworkers email me - I agreed to go. No drink - but they have an awesome peanut chicken thai wrap that I just LOVED! LOL! I get there - and offending co-worker says that some more friends are supposed to meet her there - would I walk around the place with her and see if anyone has shown up. And then we walked up to him. Cute guy. She said "TT! What are YOU doing here?!" and he stood up and hugged her and laughed and said "Silly Rabbit! You emailed me! And I haven't seen you in forever! How are you?!?" We were introduced - and it became VERY clear that HE was the reason I had to be there that night. I was only able to stay for an hour - - but he and I were laughing and talking that whole time . . .

Hope that inspires ya a bit!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-25-2004
Thu, 03-03-2005 - 6:50pm

That is a fun story.

Working in a huge hotel is definitely a HUGE ASSET!! I worked in hotels for almost 10 years and always had a LOT of friends to go out with. A hotel is like a city unto itself - always something fun going on - although the work and hours can be brutal, too.

I have so many fond memories from the hotels I worked in.

Do you still work there now?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Thu, 03-03-2005 - 8:03pm

Not that particular hotel, no. And yes, the work and hours can be very brutal! I was in the law dept - and had a regular corporate existence (well - a regular litigation existence!) but TT deals with conventions in the hotel he works for - and the work and hours are brutal.

I now work in the corporate headquarters of a hotel/casino - in the law dept. I have nothing to do with the hotel side of it - at all. My work is all about the casino aspect of it. I LOVE the company that I work for - can't say enough wonderful things about it!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-28-2003
Thu, 03-03-2005 - 9:55pm
Just keep the faith. Keep positive and it will all work out.
I'm a 40 y/o with 6 kids..4 still at home. Work full time also. No man in his right mind will even consider me, how wrong was I! Dated few men either from church or online who wasn't scared off. Been talking to this guy (met online) for couple months from IA and he's coming to visit!!
I've gone out with a few single girls from work but clubbing/bar scene not my style.
My life revolves around my kids as father (and i use that term loosely) is not around but I do take time for myself.
Sure I'm lonely but not desperate, would like to have a man in my life but don't need one.
My advice: focus on YOU and get to know YOU, do things YOU like, shop for YOU, induldge a little on YOU.
Good luck :)
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2003
Fri, 03-04-2005 - 12:26am

My suggestions are the same as the pp.

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting