where to start???

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-01-2006
where to start???
7
Wed, 03-01-2006 - 8:05pm

I need some help please. I'm 31, have 2 children, aged 10 & 8, have been single for the past 7 years. My ex is remarried (which in all honesty pisses me off, cause he moved on very quickly afterwards)
I would like to start meeting new people, and start having a life of my own, outside of my children.
I fought a 6 year custody battle, that has just recently ended (in october) and i have no idea where to begin.
If anyone has any ideas, i would really appreciate it. I had to move to a new town to accomodate the weekabout custody, and don't know anyone really.

I just feel at a loss, and would like help in begining over.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Wed, 03-01-2006 - 10:08pm

Welcome. I can understand how you would feel so frustrated and not know where to turn. You have been through a lot and now being in a new place is not easy. I am sure it is hard to start over without friends and a support system.

I think the first place to start is with yourself - do all you can to feel good. Maybe this is to organize your closet and buy a few things for you. Or to clean the house. Exercise. Take the time to strike up a conversation with everyone you meet. Try to find fun things to do outside of the house when you don't have the kids. This can be anything.

Slowly but surely your social network will grow. And somewhere in all of this you will meet someone nice to date.

Please don't feel pressure to hurry just because your exh remarried. That has nothing to do with you. You have to figure out who you are again as a single person and who is right for you.

I hope you stay and participate in our board discussions as much as you can - this will help you a lot too.

Again, welcome and good luck - keep us posted!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2005
Wed, 03-01-2006 - 10:26pm

Welcome to the board!


It's always tough moving to a new place and having to meet people.


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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-17-2003
Thu, 03-02-2006 - 7:58am
Welcome to the board! The ladies here are wonderful with lots of support and advice! I know how hard it is to start your life over. I agree with the other ladies about getting out of the house. I had to learn to do lots of things by myself when I first divorced. You might even consider checking out some of the local churches. They often have classes for singles or women. I have a great class that I am a part of.
Take things one day at a time and don't sit at home on the couch!! Think of this as an opportunity to discover who you are and what you like as a single woman!!
Stephanie
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2004
Thu, 03-02-2006 - 7:35pm

I suggest the gym, the library, church and volunteering for an organization you care about - although I've done all four and never found a date that way.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Fri, 03-03-2006 - 6:46am
Couln't agree with this more!!
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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-01-2006
Fri, 03-03-2006 - 9:42am

Thank you very much everyone for all your suggestions. I will look into everything that has been suggested to me.

I will be using this site often, for advice, and to gain knowledge.

thank you so much for taking the time to help me, it is greatly appreciated!

Jenn

PS: now, if i can only figure out what to buy my son for his 10th birthday!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Fri, 03-03-2006 - 11:10pm
Oh wow - my son is turning 10 soon. Right now I would get away with anything from Star Wars. All the kids here on our street seem to be taken with that.
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