where to start
Find a Conversation
where to start
| Mon, 12-13-2004 - 11:06pm |
I've been separated for over a year and we're trying to get divorced. I don't know where to start looking and don't want to go anywhere by myself. So, the only guys I've been interested in are at work. Two have said no and I've become interested in a third. Just looking for thoughts and ideas of what to do?

Forget about men and dating for now. Work on getting divorced and having a life again. The dust must settle before you try for a new relationship.
JMHO
I agree about finishing the divorce before you're out looking. Take the time to reaquaint yourself with you before looking for a companion. Now is the time for you and your kids to have a little fun and you can look into yourself and think about what you really want out of life and a partner. If you rush into the dating scene you will settle for the first guy who shows interest and that may not be the best thing. You need to decide what your priorities are and what kind of person you want in your life, and what kind of model do you want for your children.
As for looking for dates when you finally decide... well, I would steer CLEAR of work relationships. You are just headed for disaster there. Hook up with some girl friends and go out for some fun, and be approachable to men- open and happy and talkative. You said you don't want to go to things alone, but sometimes you can't always have your friends with you. Check out the local community centre for an art class, photography class or excersize class you've been wanting to try- if nothing else, you may just make some new friends who know some single guys...
This time of year there are lots of Christmas events going on all over the place. Take your kids and have fun with it. Then chat up a few people to get yourself used to talking to strangers. Who knows, you may run into the same person at another event.
But above all, don't stress too much about it. I've found most people will tell you that it's when you decide to "give up" for a while and just have fun that they meet someone.
Good luck!
Alison
Welcome to the board!
I am not going to be hypocritical and tell you to wait until you're divorced to date. I dated when I was separated but not divorced. I met my current SO then actually.
But I'm curious what you mean by "trying to get divorced". Is one of you fighting it, or is there custody issues?
I totally agree with alison that you should not date at work. It is just a mess waiting to happen. If you want to go out and have some fun, see if a friend can fix you up or go out with friends and be open to meeting new people. But I wouldn't make it your main focus. I really believe that the harder you look, the less likely you are to meet someone you would want to date.
Hope you will stick around and let us get to know you.
Tara
What do you enjoy doing? Do you have friends there? Have a girls night out. Go places you like to go and you will meet interesting people with similar interests. But try to keep relationships casual until you are divorced. It really helps!
Mel
<a href="http://www.TickerFactory.com/weight-loss/wtCMCc4/">
<img border="0" src="http://tickers.Ticker
Time will heal you. Once you get through the divorce, the dust will settle. You will learn to be alone and I am sure you will acquire new friends along the way.
Of course all of your current friends will not like you now - especially if they are married. Married people tend to think that divorce is contagious and they stay away from you.