Whew! Made it through the "talk"
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| Sat, 02-03-2007 - 12:05pm |
After a delightful night out watching a movie with popcorn soda and some bed time fun, I finally summoned the courage to initiate the where is this going talk in the morning.
Starting these conversations is so awkward and I could tell he was as pained as I was. Seems we are both on the same page.
We are now exclusive (he brought this up)!
we are both developing deeper feelings for eachother.
We are cautious but open to more serious things developing.
He wants to spend more time doing a variety of activities with me.
Everything is fine! We are both getting enough personal space and time, we are both satified emotionally, with the quality of teh time together. He said... and I know it doesn't mean much but it is always nice to hear:
"Our sex is, " he paused looking for words, shaking his head smiling, "just wonderful, amazing."
He was very concerned that I know he teaches late and that I don't think he is out with other women. I never thought that but he wanted to be very clear. He teaches a couple classes that end at 9pm. He's usually home at 930 those nights.
So things are good and my mind is eased. I am so glad we talked.
I didn't get the courage to talk until I realized that if he wassn't into anything "real" emotionally that I didn't want to be with him. Once I came around to that realization, there was no turning back. It was a good thing.
Thank, ladies, for your enouragement and support. I am glad to be a part of this group!

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Thanks Five sense,
Yes, I am cautious, too. I feel that dating exclusively is a fine place to be after dating ony a few months, and I don't expect /want more at this point. I often am the one encouraging time apart. I could have said the same vague words to him, and I did tell him that I felt the same way. Just because we have been kissing for a month I am not worried that I don't know he's the one yet. I think that degree of vagueness is perfectly OK right now from each of us.
Walls this early in a relationship I feel are very important. We need to keep our individuality and show our best side for some time as we gradually grow mroe comfortable with a person. So I guess walls are acceptable to me right now, I don't see his walls as any more rigid as mine at this point. so they don't intimidate me nor do they make me resentful or give up hope that we will grow closer.
As to the last point, I don't feel particularly unsettled now. I think we are at a great place in our relationship. I suppose if it hasn't progressed in another 6 months to occasional mentions of joining each other as a family, I might wonder if it is going anywhere, but I don't feel any need to be uneasy right now or for a little while, provided he is consistantly being wonderful.
So I guess I agree with most of your insightful points, but I am perfectly happy being in the early stages of a relationship and am not in a hurry to force it to something ahead of where it should be.
I agree. There should be no forcing. You can't force or rush a relationship. I do see a red flag when someone says they can't predict the future, especially in a conversation about agreeing to a monogamous relationship.
A man can keep you at arm's length even when he's doing nice things for you. It's easier to fix a woman's sink, then to fall in love with her. Words and actions have to match.
I agree with what you said about reassessing things in another 6 months. Make sure you are completely satisfied with the pace of the relationship.
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