While we are men bashing...

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-21-2006
While we are men bashing...
11
Sat, 04-05-2008 - 12:40am

I just got caught up on e-mail and a book club friend forwarded this to me- ROFL tears in my eyes, seriously laughing- and she is happily married!
The Whys of Men

1. WHY DO MEN BECOME SMARTER DURING SEX?

(because they are plugged into a genius)

2. WHY DON'T WOMEN BLINK DURING SEX?

(they don't have enough time)


3. WHY DOES IT TAKE 1 MILLION SPERM TO FERTILIZE ONE EGG?

(they don't stop to ask directions)

4. WHY DO MEN SNORE WHEN THEY LIE ON THEIR BACKS?

(because their balls fall over their butt-hole and they vapor lock) -OK so that one got me- serious LOL


5. WHY WERE MEN GIVEN LARGER BRAINS THAN DOGS?

(so they won't hump women's legs at cocktails parties)

6. WHY DID GOD MAKE MEN BEFORE WOMEN?

(you need a rough draft before you make a final copy)

7. HOW MANY MEN DOES IT TAKE TO PUT A TOILET SEAT DOWN?

(don't know.....it never happened)

8. WHY DID GOD PUT MEN ON EARTH?

(because a vibrator can't mow the lawn) For you and Lawn Boy, Rlch!

Remember, if you haven't got a smile on your face and laughter in your heart...Then you are just an old sour fart!

Thought we all needed a laugh, and sorry to offend if Mark is reading this. We know you ALWAYS put the seat down or at least think about it if female company is in the vicinity

QueenBun

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Avatar for mhash
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sat, 04-05-2008 - 3:23am

OK I smiled inside when I was reading this.

BTW in my family of three boys and a father, we always put the seat down. Guess who was Alpha in our family? So this became an automatic habit.

Mark

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-06-1998
Sat, 04-05-2008 - 3:24am
ROFLOL Love 'em!

 



Tracy

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Sat, 04-05-2008 - 9:41am

ROFL!!!!!!!!!!!!

Those are very funny!!

Thanks for the laugh!! And here I thought you were going to have another opera story for us!! LOL!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2004
Sat, 04-05-2008 - 10:29am

Okay, I guess I'm an "Alpha" then... because I've taught my boys to put the

~shrimpy

"A man who wants something will find a way; a man who doesn't will find an excuse." ~Stephen Dolley Jr.

~<

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-21-2006
Sat, 04-05-2008 - 12:29pm

Yeah, the rule here is close the lid, then wash your hands. Then the bathroom is nice and tidy for the next user. I think it is just utter laziness when guys leave the seat up.

Queenbun

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-20-2007
Sun, 04-06-2008 - 4:47pm

i'm going to play devil's advocate for a minute....


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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-09-2007
Sun, 04-20-2008 - 4:25pm
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-24-2008
Sun, 04-20-2008 - 9:33pm

These are great!

It's okay to jump...you have wings! 

To move forward...you have to stop looking back.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2005
Sun, 04-20-2008 - 10:27pm

Yup- I watched that show where they put something in the toilet water and flushed and then turned on the blacklight (or whatever it's called) and there were drops of the colorant ALL over the bathroom!!!! EEEEEEWWWWWWW!!!!


So, since watching that, I ensure the lid is CLOSED and left CLOSED!


Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-2006
Sun, 04-20-2008 - 11:59pm
ROTFLMAO!!!...just for the record...when I was married and lived w/xdh we had 2 bathrooms..one for the boys and one for the girls..if xdh/ds used the "girl" bathroom they HAD to put the seat down....if dd/I used the "boy" bathroom we

~Karen
˙·٠•●♥Ƹ̵̡&#1244

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