The whole weight thing ... & daughters-

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Registered: 03-15-2004
The whole weight thing ... & daughters-
21
Sun, 02-03-2008 - 12:42am

We began to touch on it below. But here is my issue ... Averey is JUST going to be 8. She is TALL. I dont know how exactly, but about the top 2-3rd tallest in all of 2nd grade. Fine. Cool.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2006
Sun, 02-03-2008 - 12:59am
I know I have a boy but I teach a ton of teenage girl and have seen a lot of them go from 9 to 18 in their time in my violin studio before college.
First of all, start building the electric fence around your house now and go HIGH. She is gorgeous. That is no news to you I know but you are going to have to practice your discerning mom game face for the scads of boys that will be hanging around your house.
I think you handled everything right tonight. I would have said the same thing really. I think it is true from my experience with all of my girls students that they plump up just slightly at around 8 - 12 somewhere. It is like their bodies are trying to figure out where to place the curves they will be graced with. Then they tend to slender up a bit as they start high school and I dont know whether that is an age thing, growth spurt up or just plain old peer pressure. I have a few girls who are freshman in HS who have gone vegetarian and slimmed down since school started. I think some of that is to get thinner and some of it is wanting to be vegetarian but maybe I am reading into it.
My son is also fairly picky about lunch and snacks. I try and go easy on him for lunch. He can have either pb and j or a ham and cheese sandwich, sun crisps or something like baked chips and fruit and sometimes yogurt. He gets fruit for snacks or cheese sticks at home. I have to work hard to get him to eat right or enough at dinner though. I think Jerry Seinfeld's wife just wrote this whole cookbook about sneaking in veggies in all their food by pureeing. I have been doing this since he was a baby. Carrots, squash, bananas, sweet potatoes, I just mash up and add in. I hear the book is pretty fabulous and kid tested so maybe you should check it out.
I also have heard that it takes a kid on average 14 tries to get their taste buds around a new taste so my son and I count down and it makes it fun. We pretty much assume he will not like it the first thirteen and are just thrilled when he likes it sooner. It takes the pressure out of it to just say - look this is cauliflower, its your first try so dont feel bad if you dont love it...time to teach your tastebuds something new.
I hope this helps.
She is such a beauty!! I wish I had pics of my students that are now older so you could see the slight pudge turn into beautiful young ladies of all shapes and sizes - all healthy and wearing it well.
Lilypie - Personal picture
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Registered: 10-30-2004
Sun, 02-03-2008 - 3:03am

She is probably comparing herself to grown women in magazines not realizing that she's not developed fully yet.

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Registered: 12-28-2004
Sun, 02-03-2008 - 9:15am

I agree with City....put the fence up now! She's going to be a knockout.

My daughter was the very same way and still is. She and I would get so frustrated trying to find pants to fit. I did a lot of hemming. I tried to get her into some really cool stylish but "workout" type clothes but she wouldn't have it and also the school she was attending ruled them as a no, no. She wanted to dress like everyone else but couldn't. By age 10 or 11 she said there needed to be a law against skinny models. She had a huge image problem and still does even though she won't admit it. At 5'2 she's hitting about 151.

I showed her pictures of me when I was her age (she got this build from me of course). Then I would tell her, "God gave me all of my weight that I was ever suppose to have but hadn't gave me my height yet." By the time I was in 9th or 10th grade, he started giving me my height and everything started falling into place. She seemed to accept that but deep down I know it still bothers her. Unlike me, she wears the "skinny" clothes where as I tried to hide my rolls. She shows rolls and all and doesn't seem to care. I don't think the clothes she picks out looks very flattering on her but I don't say anything. Like one of the other posters said about her daughter, she is now very inactive so I try not to keep alot of junk around the house. You have to be soo careful of what you say, but when she does complain about her weight I just very casually say, "Well, you know what you have to do." At 14, she knows she needs to be more active and control her portions. At 8, bless their hearts, they just don't know why they don't look like the kids around them and in the magazines. Unless kids are terribly overweight I definitely don't believe in diets at all.

At age 8, you might can get away with telling Ave that God just hasn't given her height yet because her bones aren't ready :) As an afterthought, you may want to add: to get her bones ready, she has to eat good things.




Edited 2/3/2008 9:18 am ET by emma_b2
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Registered: 08-10-2007
Sun, 02-03-2008 - 9:36am

I am in the same boat as you.

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Registered: 11-03-2003
Sun, 02-03-2008 - 10:33am

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2004
Sun, 02-03-2008 - 11:10am
I happen to enjoy the Hermione that rises up in you. Makes me really think about things at times.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2003
Sun, 02-03-2008 - 11:38am

Thanks, Emma.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-23-2006
Sun, 02-03-2008 - 11:39am
Hugs R!
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-21-2006
Sun, 02-03-2008 - 11:55am

All kids go through a pudgy phase before the big teen growth spurt. As long as Ave's pediatrician thinks her weight is OK for her height and past weight history, she is fine.

That being said, one big thing to watch for is soda intake. My S16 went through his pudgy phase at age 11-14. He was swimming 3x/week, daily in summer, yet he was chubby. In clothes he didn't look chubby at all because he is very small boned like myself.His Dr. agreed he was overweight for his typical history of being thin and pointed out the access to soda and snacks at school was a universal problem. Well, S16 finally got that growth spurt at 15 and has been watching his soda, gatorade intake. He went back to a normal weight for him. But now that he's quit swimming, he is getting a belly again. In our family getting fat=diabetes. Seriously. My brother, mother, her two brothers, their father, his sister, their mother... get the picture- all have/had diabetes. If you get even mildly overweight it happens. (So cut me some slack in freaking about an extra 15 lbs- that's a 13% weight gain in 18 mos after a lifetime of not having extra weight.) So I remind S16 that regular exercise is key in keeping off the pudge.

Swimming is great exercise(aerobic, increases flexibility, can be done without a team environment and can be done throughout life) as long as one pushes oneself. You can get out there and slowly do those laps, or you can really work up a sweat doing it. The best way to encourage kids to go for it with swimming is to remind them they are racing the clock, not the other swimmers. Ave's height will be an asset as a competitive swimmer. There is a young woman here in Tucson who was always a chubby kid (chubbier than Ave seems from your report), but the most awesome swimmer. She didn't slim down until she was a teen and is an Olympic level swimmer now.

I agree with Soonee, that how you act about your own self image will strongly affect how Ave feels about herself. I always focused on the health aspect of food choice and exercise. I make exercise a fun thing, not a weight related thing. We swim and ski because it is fun, good for us too, but fun.Use the example of your super athletic niece as an inspiration for Ave.

QueenBun

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Registered: 05-13-2005
Sun, 02-03-2008 - 12:16pm

I agree with Soonee that you have to instill a healthy-at-any-size attitude about the body for her. The last thing you want to see is an eating disorder and those are skyrocketing.

I think she is beautiful - and she is still young and has not gone through puberty or anything like that. Perhaps when you find clothes you can buy extra and not make it a big deal that you had to look hard for them?

You might want to google Ellen Satter - she is a dietitian who has done a tremendous amount of work and writing for how to feed kids and keep them active and healthy with weight - her basic philosophy is to offer a variety of healthy foods and let them pick which ones and how much - she has much more in her books and on her site.

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