Why am I so sad??

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2007
Why am I so sad??
6
Thu, 05-10-2007 - 10:38am

Today would've been my 10th wedding anniversary with my ex-husband. Why am I feeling so sad about this? I wanted the divorce and I've been actively dating and overall very content with my life the way it is now...but for some reason I just can't seem to shake this sad feeling today.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2003
Thu, 05-10-2007 - 10:53am
Becauae you shared something special for a while and even though it was no longer special when it ended, you remember what could have been. I would have shared 10 years with my 1st husband just 5 months after our divorce. My 3 year is approaching with my current husband and we are separated. I still do not know if he will wish me a happy anniversary or give me a card. I bought him a gift. Also Mother's Day is coming and I do not know if he plans to spend the day with us or do something else. I do hope that since I am the mother if his daughter that he will at least give me a card and wish me well...but he won't.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Thu, 05-10-2007 - 11:01am

Because it is sad. Neither of you got married thinking you would get divorced. I think to lose a marriage is a really tough sad thing. You lose a sense of identity, a companion, the social card that comes with it (a big big biggie!) and are pushed out into a different world where you have to start all over again.

Try not to do much that will stress you today - maybe there is something fun or busy to get your mind on that?

Avatar for myprecioustwo
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2003
Thu, 05-10-2007 - 11:22am
yesterday was my city hall wedding and on the 17th will have been my church wedding. I was upset yesterday and I didn't know why. I think it just hit me that the loss of what I thought was going to be forever failed. I truly thought it was going to be forever and now being single 6 years later, it still hurts that we didn't make it work. I don't love him anymore but just the marriage turning out to be a failure is still so very hard to swallow. Some years it will just hit you and in other years, you'll have forgotten all about it. Big hugs to you. I don't think you are the only one. I definitely am one of the one's that feels what you do and I also asked for the divorce because I was given an ultimatum that just wasnt' acceptable.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2003
Thu, 05-10-2007 - 12:44pm

Catherine are you twice divorced?

~Mel~

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2004
Thu, 05-10-2007 - 2:05pm

I think up until last year, I always felt a little down when our anniversary rolled around. I think it's just natural because it was a day to look forward to and now there's nothing there so it's like another loss. That's my opinion though. That's how I think of it from my end. It will pass....believe me, it didn't hit me that bad this past year. BIG (((((HUGS))))) TO YOU!!!!!!

Hang in there!

Jennifer

Avatar for myprecioustwo
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2003
Thu, 05-10-2007 - 2:17pm
No. Just once. In Germany you have to be married by the Justice of the Peace before you can be married in Church. So it was two ceremonies. I never married my oldest DD because I wanted to go to Europe instead and i wanted him to live his dream as a Navy Seal. I had known him since we were children and it was his life long dream. We both did what we wanted to do. We were however engaged, but once Alex came into the picture our priorities changed. I have an extreme unnatural hormone level and need to be put on extra strength birth control. I can't even wear the patch. When I went to a new gynecologist, I dind't even think about telling him that I needed only a certain high dosage of pills. He gave me low grade one's and I became pregnant with Alex. So Alex was very unexpected for us and it changed our mind about getting married. I thought when Scott would make the Seals, I would go to Europe to do my thing, because he would be gone so often, but with a child, I didn't want to raise Alex on a military base in BFE with a special forces guy that I saw 4 weeks in a year. So we both discussed it and chose to hold off any marriage commitments because Scott wasn't ready, nor is he now to be a father. I knew it would go sour and I wanted to live my life with my daughter in an enviroment that I felt provided her the best education, life style and values. My working abroad gave her those options because I have family in Germany that spoiled her rotten with love and I was doing very well financially at the time, before I met my X husband. After that it went downhill. But that is another story. :)