Why are men such !@#$%^&*?
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Why are men such !@#$%^&*?
| Mon, 10-04-2004 - 9:43pm |
Out of lurker mode for an angry rant. Suffice it to say I have heard the "You're a great person but I don't want to raise someone else's kids..." speech one too many times. What is wrong with men? If I'm at home with my kids, I'm not out sleeping with your best friend behind your back! If I do a halfway decent job of taking care of my kids, that stands to reason that I would do a halfway decent job of taking care of you and/or your kids, right? So why is it the only men who will give single moms the time of day are the ones who think we are so desperate they will get laid on the first date? Why is it that even single dads want a woman with no kids? Why do men expect that a woman who is over 30 has never even been in love with anyone else, much less married? When I meet a man who is over 25 and says he's never been in love, I think there's something wrong with him! Why do men have this preconceived notion of some mold the person they're going to marry should fit, and won't consider anyone who doesn't fit it? I met someone who I would be perfect with, but he would not consider going out with me because I am not 5'2" with brown eyes. Why is it that the deadbeat ex-husbands who have plenty of spending money because they don't pay their child support and lots of free time because they cancel their visitation weekends can get a date every night of the week?

Anyway, LOVE the rant. B/c I can relate, as I'm sure most of us can, on so many levels. Before I started dating my current boyfriend, I had been seeing this guy for about a month, and one night (after a really nice dinner and good conversation) he asks, "Where do you want this to go?" I thought the guy was great (though he did have some quirks I was willing to look past and even found endearing at times), so I told him I'd like it to eventually move forward. He answered me with, "You're just not girly enough for me." And I know you guys can see me, but I am definitely girly!!!! I'm not a prissy, gold-digging airhead....I'm a woman! All of my friends conceded that he's gay...I really don't know, but I found it amazing that it took him a month to figure that one out!
The thing I've come to realize is that for true, genuine, intelligent women who don't play the stupid games society is so into now...it's very difficult to find a man who can appreciate these qualities. We, as mothers, have an even harder time, because the qualities that make us good parents are also the qualities that intimidate a lot of men out there. It's a horrific journey!!!!! I empathize with you completely!!!!!
It boils down to the fact that you can't lower your standards so you continue on the journey of dating until that rarity comes along!!!!! And he will...as cliche as it sounds...it's true. He will. I promise!
Hugs!
Shelley
When a guy really is into you, he will accept your whole package. It doesn't matter if you think you would be perfect with him - it matters what he thinks about you - and you have no control over that - and it is not personal about you - it is about him, how he is wired, what turns him on and what he is looking for.
My child is an asset - and having him is going to help me find the right one this time. Because I have to be more picky and I am going to be patient, hold my heart back and be sure of his intentions.
This problem is universal for all women.
Honey, I hear ya. Believe me! You aren't alone out their. I had a doozy myself this week and last. I completely flipped out and sent 4 men with a drop kick out the door. I have to post that and another one, so look out for it.
I think it sounds like it's worse than ever before, but in reality, I think it's actually better than it used to be. Years ago, we would of banned with a scarlet letter branded on our head or burned to the stake. LOL
I feel that way often over here in Germany. It really is a worldwide problem. Men seriously do think we are DESPERATE. Nope, this isn't the middle ages anymore. We stand strong and independent. A man is not a MUST, but a nice to have. :)
I don't need a bread winner, because I am the bread winner. I raise my children just fine, even without the male influence. Of course none of it is easy, but it's always a risk we take when we have children. Wouldn't change it for the world, but sometimes, I wish I did have a bit of a break for myself and I wouldn't have such deadbeat fathers. But they are and I can't change that. :-(
Anyhow, you aren't alone. It happens on all parts of the world. Don't give up. I have been dating for 4yrs and I still haven't given up, even though I take times like now and just tell everyone to take a hike.
Kelly
Hmmm, it strikes me as odd that no one asks you out for a second date. Are you maybe WAY to uptight, or always talking about your no good deadbeat X? LOL That happened to me for the first two years. I man bashed anything and everything, until I finally scared everyone and thing away, because I was still too ANGRY. AND I SHOWED IT! THE POOR GUYS!!LOL!
Sometimes I still get that way and then I have to remind myself to be cool. It isn't the guys fault that he sticks his foot in his mouth, by saying something that is totally unacceptable. The most of them just don't have a clue what it takes to be a single mom and what it means to be responsible. Especially a man without children. The men that are divorced, divorced, because the responsibility of having a family was too much. I am glad for what I have though. I am glad I have my children and I am not single without children. I have the greatest fullfillment in my life, even though at times it is tough and I wish CALGON would just TAKE ME AWAYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!
Like I asked earlier, where do you live? Yes, the South is pretty hard. One's you've been branded, theirs basically no way of getting out of the ownership. Everyone still see's you belonging to the person that you got branded from. Awful scenario, but true. Especially Texans. I never used to have my own name. It was always Patricks Girlfriend, or Scotts Fiance. Etc. etc. I used to get sooo angry! My name is CATHERINE and I have an identity. GEESH! That just brought back images. lol.
Big hugs and keep us in the loop.
"Anyway, two weeks later he calls and says "I really do want the mother type and want you back"..yeah right as if. I told him I was darning socks and would need to get back with him on that."
Too funny!