Why are you as single mother?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-30-2005
Why are you as single mother?
13
Wed, 01-14-2009 - 6:14pm

Hi everyone:

I'm new to the board... just wanted to see why everyone here is a single mother.

I chose to leave my husband when my son was four months old, I'm finding that's a bit rare. Were you cheated on? Or did he leave you? Or did you choose to leave like I did?

Regardless, I'm sure now that the dust has settled we can all see how much better it is on this side! I love being a single mom so much. It's a lot easier than being married to a jerk.

Have you started dating yet? How long did you wait?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-06-2008
Wed, 01-14-2009 - 6:34pm

Hi and Welcome.


I am have been a single mother for about 18 months.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2008
Wed, 01-14-2009 - 7:38pm

Hi, and welcome to the board.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2003
Wed, 01-14-2009 - 8:28pm

Hello and welcome!


I have been a single mom since about a week after my daughter was concieved!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2006
Wed, 01-14-2009 - 8:37pm

Hi! Welcome to the board.


I left my ex because he and I were two completely different people. We view almost every major issue differently and we were incompatible. We were/are still pretty good friends, but not compatible together. We went through a LOT of stress during our marriage, which caused an even bigger rift between us. Some of the stress was out of our control (secondary infertility, adoption process, etc.), but some was very bad decisions that the ex made that ruined us financially. I lost all respect for him.


I moved out beg. of April 08. I started dating almost immediately. I don't regret it. I met G in July and we have been seeing each other ever since. :) It's nice to finally feel loved.


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2008
Thu, 01-15-2009 - 8:26am

Good topic.

The list why I left my husband is almost too long to write here. But here a few of the reasons.

-He was always gone. Navy guy. He chose sea duty over shore duty and was always deployed leaving me to raise the kids.

-I was not a wife by any means. I was the family slave. Never treated like I was special to him. Never went out with him and no kids.

-I did EVERYTHING around the house. I mean everything. One day I got so fed up with it and made a list of everything I did and everything he did. I thought hard and listed everything I could think of that he did. It turned out to be a page long of stuff I did and about 4 things that he did. I even did the traditionally male things like yard work, washed cars, finances,etc.

-He talked to me and the kids in sarcastic tones and with sarcastic hurting language.

-He belittled everything that was important to me. Made fun of everything I did or liked.

-He was seeing some other woman while deployed.

-He stayed in the navy way too long moving me and the kids all over the world.

-The straw that broke the camels back was that he took orders to Spain against mine and the kids wishes. He knew we didnt want to go. He knew we were tired of moving around and were happy in Hawaii. But he drug us to Spain anyhow. When we got there we all hated it including him. His way of dealing with hating Spain was to deploy to other interesting spots in Europe leaving us alone to deal with Spain. Thats when I put my foot down and took the kids and moved back to the US leaving HIM in Spain where he stayed until the navy kicked him out.

nuf said.

Laurie

anonymous
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-10-2008
Thu, 01-15-2009 - 8:41am

I left my husband when I was pregnant with our

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-26-2005
Thu, 01-15-2009 - 9:31am

Welcome, you've come to a great place.


I've been divorced almost 13 years. That was my second marriage. I chose to leave him because he treated me and my kids(from previous marriage) like dirt. He was verbally abusive, didn't lift a finger to do anything in the house, made 3 times my salary, but I had to serender my whole paycheck, because he wasn't going to support my kids. We had nothing jointly, because he refused to comingle anything, it was like we were roomates, not man and wife. The last straw came when he cheated on me, and announced that he wanted an open marriage.


I left him with not a dime to my name, and his parting words were: "you'll never make it without me". Ha! 12+years later, I'm doing better than him! The good thing is that he is a pretty decent father to the dd we have together, and although we ocassionally fight about stuff, for the most part we have a good working relationship.


My first marriage happened when I was

The T Girl
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2003
Thu, 01-15-2009 - 9:47am

Hi and welcome!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-11-2007
Thu, 01-15-2009 - 1:18pm

Regardless, I'm sure now that the dust has settled we can all see how much better it is on this side!


Truer words were never spoken!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-14-2006
Thu, 01-15-2009 - 4:13pm

Hi there,


it's been quite eye-opening to see what led to everybody's decision to divorce and become a single mom.

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