why does he want to stay friends?
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why does he want to stay friends?
| Mon, 10-18-2004 - 12:14pm |
My ex boyfriend sent me another email saying that he still has hopes that we can be friendly. No, he doesn't mean FWB. He wouldn't ever suggest that or do that. He's not creepy like that.
I posted about him before. He's a big commitment phobe. I don't know why he wants to be friends. I emailed him back and said that we could be friends after I get a hot new boyfriend. I said it in a joking way..not mean. If I was truly 'over' him, I could be friends with him. But, not the way it is now. It would bug me when he starts dating someone new. I wouldn't be jealous of that other woman, I'd just be jealous that I hadn't found anyone new yet. You know how that is.

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I know exactly what you mean. I'm not sure why they want to be friends. My exbf called me Saturday night. I was on the phone with someone, so I missed the call, but I saw his number on the caller ID. It's been at least a month since I last talked to him. What could he want? He said we would be lifelong friends, but I agree with you, unless you are totally over someone, being friends with them is not a good idea. Just wanted to tell you you aren't alone.
Donna
Was that the ex boyfriend who suddenly started cancelling dates on you and not calling? I remember when you broke up with that guy, if it's the same one. He sounded a lot like the guy I just broke up with. I remember when you made your split from this guy that I said something to the effect that he would call you again. They always call you again!
After I sent my email to my ex boyfriend saying we could be friends after I get a hot new boyfriend...he just emailed be back "aaaaagreeeeed, have a great day!" As if me getting a new guy wouldn't bug him a bit.
I won't email him again. I bet you money he'll call me after a few weeks of silence though. I can't deal with that guy. He makes me feel bad about things in general.
Tricia
hehehe
Laura
I've been following your Jack story too because he does sound a lot like my ex boyfriend. I've thought about remaining friends and I don't think that will work out for me. It's more liberating for me to cut my losses, move on, bury the dead the relationship. That's just my personality though.
The question you need to ask is
well there ya go you just answered your own question--
Yeah, that's the guy. In my situation it would be easier to stay friends with him if things ended a little bit different. I thought he acted kind of snakey there at the end, and he didn't have the guts to end it, I had to, so talking to him now would be a bit awkward for me. It was always easy to talk to him, but I think now I would have a hard time biting my tongue and keeping myself from saying stuff like, why did you have to be such a jerk. So, better off not said. I will admit though, there were times I wanted to call him. He was a good person to talk to, but like I said, it was going nowhere, so why torture myself. As for FWB, believe me, I've thought about that too. He was very good, and I miss that. And I've thought about calling him and suggesting we get together for one purpose only, no strings attached. But, I couldn't bring myself to do it, as much as I wanted to. He lives too far away, and I just can't see myself asking for that. I'd look too desperate and pathetic. So, it was just a passing thought -- nothing I would ever act on. Not my style. Guess I should invest in one of those you-know-whats that everyone is posting about. I think I have one hidden in my closet somewhere -- old BF got it for me and I haven't used it in years. Maybe I should see if the batteries still work. LOL.
Donna
Donna, I've got events planned for the next several weeks through different social clubs in my area. You should see what's available in your area. I used to be a serial online dater. That's where I met my ex, but I'm going to try a different approach this time. I'm not saying I'll never go back to online dating, but I'm hoping this other approach leads to a better relationship. I mean, if the guy sees me, and then wants to get to know me, there's never that blind date scenario. It's a more comfortable situation from the start.
I just deleted every last email I ever got from my ex boyfriend. If he calls me, I won't answer the phone. I won't answer his emails either. He was completely self-absorbed during our relationship....I feel better without him in my life.
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