why does he want to stay friends?
Find a Conversation
why does he want to stay friends?
| Mon, 10-18-2004 - 12:14pm |
My ex boyfriend sent me another email saying that he still has hopes that we can be friendly. No, he doesn't mean FWB. He wouldn't ever suggest that or do that. He's not creepy like that.
I posted about him before. He's a big commitment phobe. I don't know why he wants to be friends. I emailed him back and said that we could be friends after I get a hot new boyfriend. I said it in a joking way..not mean. If I was truly 'over' him, I could be friends with him. But, not the way it is now. It would bug me when he starts dating someone new. I wouldn't be jealous of that other woman, I'd just be jealous that I hadn't found anyone new yet. You know how that is.

Pages
Self-absorbed, that sounds like you're describing my exbf. LOL Even though you miss them at first, you know we are much better off without them. And I hope you're right about the next guy knocking my socks off. LOL
Those social events that you have planned sound great. I saw in one of your other posts that you gave that website, and I wrote it down. When I have time, I'm going to check it out. About 2 months ago, I did find a single parents club by my house, and I have gone to some of the activities. In fact, I met the guy I just started dating through that club. It's always good to keep your options open.
Cheers to you for deleting the e-mails. You sound so strong and so positive. It takes me a little bit longer to get over things. But when I saw my exbf's number on my caller ID, I thought, what does he want? As my daughter would say, don't know, don't care.
Donna
Now you are ready for the next chapter and you WILL find someone who is "that into you" because you will have that as your goal and know the difference between the BS and the real thing!!!!!!!!!!!
Go girl! And do keep us posted with your stories.
One question - do you see things from the beginning of the relationship that you might not have noticed then but would reject him on now?
Tricia:
Are you sure we weren't dating the same guy? LOL. (Can't be -- my ex is 43 -- but also never been married -- and probably never will be). Your ex sounds SOOOO much like my ex. And yeah, after it was over, I saw things that I brushed aside that I shouldn't have. I think everyone does that to one degree or another. My ex sometimes drank too much also. It was starting to worry me when he could call me on a weeknight and sound half in the bag. YIKES! Are'nt we glad we said goodbye instead of it being the other way around. Cheers to us!
Donna
Donna,
I think my ex avoided calling me there towards the end because he was drinking too much. He only ever called me one time when he had been drinking and he apologized profusely for it and never did that again. I'm sure he's into some weekend binges right now. The funny thing about all that is that he complained to me about some of his ex girlfriends having problems with drinking.
Really the only thing that upsets me now about this whole relationship is the fear that this is the only kind of man out there. Your ex was like mine. When I read the other message boards, it seems to be a common theme. Are they all just sacks of crap? I'm getting back out there, but it kind of depresses me. I don't want to get my hopes up again, fall in love, and have some man completely flake out on me.
Tricia
I can totally relate to both of you with regards to finding someone. I always have faith but I am very aware of the issues with dating now.
One of my friends now is dating a guy who likes to binge drink on the weekends. He is younger and this seems to be the thing they do in college. We have done some research on it and the stats are alarming. I don't know where you draw the line with binging and alcoholism - some say they grow out of it and some say they don't.
I think that it helps if you go slow and keep your heart in check. Make sure his intentions and actions stand the test of time. Don't rush.
Amen sistah! That was definitely on my list too! If I even heard a mention of the word "pot" on a date or a phone call it was instantly over. I was not heading into that territory. And I watched all my dates VERY closely for their drinking behavior because I was not about to go into that territory again.
That's one of the things about D that I absolutely cherish. Neither one of us has ever smoked pot or tried any other drugs. Drinking we did in college, but now if either one of us has even one drink we're pretty much stupid. lol There is no alcohol in our house at all unless someone brings it to us for a special occasion, and that's the way we like it. :)
"That's one of the things about D that I absolutely cherish. Neither one of us has ever smoked pot or tried any other drugs. Drinking we did in college, but now if either one of us has even one drink we're pretty much stupid. lol There is no alcohol in our house at all unless someone brings it to us for a special occasion, and that's the way we like it. :)"
I'm with you too, sistah!!
Pages