Why does it bug me so much.??...LOOOONG

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-06-2004
Why does it bug me so much.??...LOOOONG
1
Fri, 03-23-2007 - 9:22am

Ok guys this one is going to be kinda long bear with me..

Yester days was my DD birthday she turned 7. He father called (DDF) he told her happy birthday and she said thank you for the truck and trailer for my horses. (play of course)
after she was finished talking to him he asker her to give the phone to me because he needed to talk to me.

I previously talked to his mother and she had told me that SHE found Kaitlins bday present we have been looking for it for 2 years. any how he was talking to me and said that melissa was the one who found Kaitlin's birthday present. ( here I am thinking Who is Melissa (DDFSO)) So I asked him "Who is Melissa?" he said "my soon to be wife"
I thought huh?? how long have they been dating He has not mentioned her before. I speak with his mother almost weekly. his mother never mentioned her.

I always let him know if I am dating someoen or not.

A bit of back ground on DDF

Him and I met while I was in high School thru a friend. We dated for a while and decided we were better off as friends (or friends with benefits rather) we dated off and on while I was in high school. I graduated from high school in may and got pregnant with DD in July. I thought the father was someone else the other person had a DNA test done and the only other person it could be was DDF. I called him after I found out and before I told him I asked him how everything was going he said fine I told him that Kaitlin was his. he said oh ok I am getting married tomarrow. (this was 7 years ago) The chick that he married was a total Bee with an itch. and tried to get him to get customdy of Kaitlin. they eneded up 2 1/2 years later getting a divorce.

Then he explained why he had not had contact for that length of time ecuase of this woman that he had married. and now he wanted to be there for her ect ect ect blah blah .. he visited her once and talks to her on the phone and sends her gifts. that is about it.

DDF and I were never married

So yesterday when he told me about Melissa(DDFSO) Why did it bother me so much?
It just Bugged me and then it Bugged me that it bugged me.

I called my (CO worker) who had just called me the other day and he was telling me how he saw his ex and her SO and how it bugged him to see her with someone. I told him that he most likely could not answer my question but that I needed to talk. So I told him and then I asked him Why does it bug me so much. He said he didn't know either I then told him IT bugs em that it bugs me.

I then called my BF and TT him about it and he really didn't have much to say... *SIGH* why can't I get my question ANSWERED.
I think that it bugged me soo much because he had never mentioned Melissa before and it probly is non of my business. OR was it the fact that SHE evidentally found the gift for MY daughter not him or his mother. and that I don't know how to deal with this or what.

ANy comments Advised are WELCOME

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Fri, 03-23-2007 - 5:02pm

I do think it is hard for all of us to realize an ex is happier with someone or has moved on in their life without us - even if we know we cannot be happy with that person.

Hopefully you can realize that some questions may never have answers and that in time you will realize you are better off without him.

Hope your day goes better today!! Sorry to hear you had such a bad feeling with all of this.