Why?!? Ex-Husband rant

Avatar for eponine365
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2003
Why?!? Ex-Husband rant
22
Mon, 06-23-2008 - 6:39pm

So, my ex-husband is getting married today, in fact the wedding was one hour ago. Well, we have a great relationship and get along well, and I'm happy for him. I'm jealous, but not of him or her.. I'm jealous that he's moved on with his life and I'm still spinning my wheels.. thats all. Yah know, he just joined the country club, and I just got off food stamps type thing.. sigh. Anyway!!


Anyway, I'm a tad irked at what I just got in my email. I understand that we all get along well, but why is it necessary to send me pictures of you and your new bride in your wedding duds? Why? Why would you send me a picture like that? And a picture of the view off your balcony onto the beach? I mean, thats great, its nice, she's beautiful. Can we rub it in that I'm sitting at home taking vacation time to watch the kids on your week, and watching your dog, and have no boyfriend and just recently got my heart freaking stomped on? lol


Isn't it just weird? Like, just over the line almost.


Another small rant is he wants the girls to start calling her Mimmy, and I'm going to have to put my foot down. I can't tolerate that. I like her, but I just can't go there. I told the girls that in my house she is to be called Jennifer, not Mimmy.

"I never knew what real happiness was until I got married,
and by then, it was too late."

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Mon, 06-23-2008 - 7:00pm

Do you think he sent it to "everyone" in his email book? Or just you?

I would feel exactly the same - you poor thing!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2002
Mon, 06-23-2008 - 7:11pm

Awww yes... at least you said you like her...


My teenagers have a stepmother... she forced them to call her "Mom" from the beginning.... and they call me "Mommy".... But unfortunately,

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2004
Mon, 06-23-2008 - 7:17pm

I'm sorry you're feeling bummed... I would be off-kilter from stuff like that, too.


My ex got remarried about 2.5 yrs ago. We get along fine too- but when he gave me a disk of their wedding video and photos, I just put it aside. He gave it to me for the kids to see again (as they were part of the wedding) but he did ask me later on if I'd watched it. I told him no. I just don't feel the need to watch it, y'know?? Even though it's not

~shrimpy

"A man who wants something will find a way; a man who doesn't will find an excuse." ~Stephen Dolley Jr.

~<

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-21-2006
Mon, 06-23-2008 - 9:05pm

Sorry your X has no sense of empathy, or perhaps it's just no sense. Let's see, re-marrying when the divorce is brand new and sending you a picture of the couple and how lovely their vacation is, how is that not rubbing your face in it? It's not like Shrimpy's situation where her children were involved in the wedding and he's sharing that aspect.

And the Mimmy thing? Are you sure you like this woman? That is one big red flag for me. Your children have a mother. If Wife version02 wants to keep a good relationship with you and your kids, one would think she'd be wary of any attempt to "replace" you in their lives or take on the role of mother in any way with your kids. somehow, I smell X in this.

I am really sorry that you were unable to get a more equitable split of resources when you divorced. The laws vary so much from state to state. Sending wine and chocolate, and a lighter for that photo- may it roast with the wienies.

QB

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Mon, 06-23-2008 - 9:07pm

This is all too crazy - it is like our exh's must be from the same crazy planet or something?

I would, never in a million years, give my exh a wedding album of me - not in any way shape or form. Not that I think one is even going to come about any time soon - I seem to be having an issue with finding someone to date or date for more than a month much less the rest of my life? LOL!!

But why would they do that? It IS all about them. Maybe they needed the validation that they are okay?

I think you handled that well, Shrimps, so "matter of fact" in fact. Like, you were stirring the potatoes (or maybe it was the mouse food that day?) and you just said, "no I didn't see the need." When you must have wanted to strangle him instead for his boldness and stupidity? Or maybe you see it that you are glad to make him someone else's problem? You must share your secret?

And it IS crazy that her divorce was just finalized. To me that would be a red flag.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Mon, 06-23-2008 - 9:10pm

"Wife version02"

SPEW alert - ROFL!!!!! - that is too funny!! I really hope this thread is cheering up eponine - it is a circle of the wagons for her - just not because of a bad poster!! LOL!!

"And the Mimmy thing? Are you sure you like this woman? That is one big red flag for me. Your children have a mother. If Wife version02 wants to keep a good relationship with you and your kids, one would think she'd be wary of any attempt to "replace" you in their lives or take on the role of mother in any way with your kids. somehow, I smell X in this."

AGREED! I would feel the same way and would never imply that a new husband's children must call me mom - unless of course THEY wanted to - but I would be called by my first name so it is easy for them.

Avatar for eponine365
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2003
Mon, 06-23-2008 - 9:23pm

Yah, he's called 3x today to talk to the girls, and I don't feel now is the time to bring it up and put a damper on the day. I'll probably wait a week to say something and let them enjoy their honeymoon and such.


Well the whole mimmy thing comes from the fact that her ex husband is never around, and ditches her daughter constantly. So she calls my ex Diddy. Wrong #1, wrong #2 is the fact that I'm in their life 80% of the time.. there will be no attempted replacement. *stomping my foot down* LOL


And I have not shared much about my ex but the abridged version is that three months ago I realized that I needed therapy over all of this. He was very very controlling, mentally abusive, and financially neglectfull. So him trying to manipulate me again is not out of the question. Yes, we get along well, but my guard will always be up with this guy.

"I never knew what real happiness was until I got married,
and by then, it was too late."
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Mon, 06-23-2008 - 9:29pm

I just had a very devilish thought - too bad you weren't at his house while babysitting the dog - and able to send a photo of how the dog just crapped on their new white rug? LOL!!

He sounds like one of the controlling types - and relationship experts always show the type of guy who wines and dines and proposes right away as being a big red flag and controller - so maybe this is what happened - and the fact that he did send the photos just seals this idea? And it shows from her history that she has a poor choice in men! I mean it is not like he is marring Masha the supermodel here.

And yes - definitely keep the guard up and stick to boundaries! Maybe it is time for all of you to go for ice cream and forget to take the phone?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-25-2007
Mon, 06-23-2008 - 10:33pm
that is sooooooo pukish - and RIDICULOUSLY INSENSITIVE.

mom_uk2socal - Mom to DS22, DS19, DD16

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Mon, 06-23-2008 - 11:04pm

Oooh! Theres a LOT that "got me" in this post. 1st ((((((((HUGS!!!)))))))


The NERVE to send you photos. The only thing I can say is if their wedding was AN HOUR AGO ... he is already home sending you photos?

Photobucket

Pages