Will he never see?
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| Thu, 04-19-2007 - 1:38pm |
I know that everyone has been telling me to run away and run for the hills from this guy. Heck, my MOM even said to run away today...and she thinks he's a nice guy! lol You all will not believe the email I got from him in reply to my email to him. Here it is if you are interested:
Let me first start off saying that I agree and disagree with some of the things that you said in the email that you sent me today. I am sorry Logan got to hear every word last night but you could have walked away for a min just to say what you had to say. Now the fast part I do not understand. We both have the same feelings for each other, unless something changed I am not aware of, but like we said in the beginning, what happens, happens. Well me loving you and vice versa happened. We can not take that away Also in the letter it said repeatedly, that I care for you deeply, and not once did you write how you feel about me. I do not understand that what so ever.
Now, the part about moving in, marriage, etc, you need to start taking them as a joke unless I tell you I am being honest or should i not just bring them up. Now lets move on to the marriage thing about the healing process. I have healed so much that the scares are gone sweetheart. I lost all love for that woman the day she left me cause of the way that she left me and what she did to me. So yes, i am and I will be over her. You can bet your ass on that one. I know where you are coming from with Logan, but what I do not understand is how is he suppose to know me and how am I suppose to get to know him better if we do not spend a little time together. I know he is the most important thing in your life and I know where I stand. But wasn't you telling me that it is now JUST THE 3 OF US, and that is how I would love it to be. The trust issue is not a problem with me what so ever.
What I am trying to say Jen is that I respect the way you feel and I would do anything for you, But for once will you stop and think about the way I feel . Maybe you have but have you went into depth with it. You are not someone I want to hang around with for a couple of months or so and then leave, No you are the type of person that I would love to spend the rest of my life with and be happy and start a family. You are like the perfect match for me. But like you said, you can not have those types of feelings for me yet. My question is, WHY? You tell me that you love me and I know that you mean it, so what type of love is it?
I hope you do not get angry with this email but I guess this is the only way I have to respond. Cause when I talk to you i just lose words. Also I want us to get on a level playing field. Lets make goals for our self and lets stick to them. That means goals for us together. I love you sweetheart and I hope you truly and deeply know that.
His grammar isn't the best but you get what he's saying. lol Will put my reply in another post so that it won't be so long. Lord I just need to tell him he has to go.....
Jennifer

I have a feeling he is just digging himself deeper and deeper in the mud. His tone is very defensive and all about him.
You did great with the paragraphs this time!! Sorry to critize you yesterday with that - I felt so bad after you acknowledged it - but I really like to read stuff and really like everyone to read and participate and it is easier on all of us when you don't have a huge paragraph!
I think you are figuring stuff out by what you say. Stick to how you feel and with what you originally said. I think he is trying to justify what he did by making you feel bad.
DUMPO! That is my vote! There are so so many fish in the sea - even I found 3 I want to talk to - and that is quite an achievement considering how long I have waited and how picky I am and my age group (badly receded dating pond). It is just so much easier to find a new one that is ready, wants to please and is easy for you. Remember, this is totally 100% all about you and what you like and want. We are not here for a mercy assignment for the guy. NOT!
In the response to your post title.... No, he won't.
His response is full of defensive explanations and excuses. And statements defending his side- but negating whatever reasons you've said. And then claims that you don't know how he feels (when you are trying HARD to not hurt him). But yet he seems to know for a fact that you haven't told you anything about how you feel. What was that whole email you sent yesterday?!?? Was that NOT all about what you were thinking and feeling?? It's just because you aren't telling him exactly what HE WANTS to hear. He will only hear/see only what he wants to hear/see.
This part really gets me: "Now lets move on to the marriage thing about the healing process. I have healed so much that the scares are gone sweetheart. I lost all love for that woman the day she left me cause of the way that she left me and what she did to me. So yes, i am and I will be over her. You can bet your ass on that one."
Oh yeah, he's soooo over her that he is still bitter. Getting over someone isn't just not going back to her- it's getting to the point where he is no longer saying "that woman" and griping about how badly she treated him. He is SOO not healed from whatever happened. And I can bet MY ass on the fact that he thinks it wasn't one bit his fault that it didn't work out.
Each time he reached out to you, he linked it with a "but" and made it turn back to himself. It's all me, me, me. I could seriously hear my ex's voice reading that email.
I know you say he is nice and he does nice things for you, but really... is all the bad stuff worth putting up with, just for glimpses of the good stuff?
(((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))) because breaking it off with him will be HARD. But believe me, living a life WITH him would be even harder.
~shrimpy
~shrimpy
"A man who wants something will find a way; a man who doesn't will find an excuse." ~Stephen Dolley Jr.
~<
Amen Shrimpy ...amen....
Sorry Jenn - he is sooo self centred and self involved that he can't see the forest for the trees.
Best of luck to you ((((hugs))))
Rose
Hi Jen I don't think I've introduced myself to you, I'm Flo, hey how are ya?
Well I just caught up with your threads, and given from everything,, you better RUN, I'm certainly no expert, but I have been manipulated by the Master, and I can see it coming a mile away.. He sounds terrific, but he has reacted so badly to your honesty, and the comment about him buying you pills so YOU won't act this way, woah blew me away.
His e-mail to you is very controlling. I made the mistake of reading that first, then having to go back to see what had prompted the whole thing. He sure wants you to know HE is over HER, and HE loves you NOW.and by God he means it so you better start seeing how great he is..
Sorry ,if you two patch things up and it all works out great, don't hold it against me, but I think from everything you've said, your just being honest, and he's taking it very badly, and showing very bad behavior...
Keep us updated on what happens next,, guys like this wont let you alone for too long before they start pulling out the ultimatems,,(SP CK PLZ)...
Hi Jennifer,
My first thoughts here were about how easily people can misunderstand one another, and conflicts can escalate because email lacks vocal intonation and body language. I have seen it happen sooo many times with friends. The printed word can be so easily misinterpreted without all those other things. BUT, that being said, its sure hard to miss his self-centeredness. And if I remember correctly you have only been seeing each other a couple of months? Whats all his talk about plans and goals as a couple? No doubts he is moving way too fast!!
I suppose my advice here would give it atleast one chance at a person to person talk. Seems like he drowns you out in those situations, but then you will have no doubts as to whether he is being sincere or not. I have been married to a man for 14 years who thought every problem was my fault. So I could definitely say run away if he shows no sign of change!!
Hope it helps a bit,
tj
Not only do I agree wholeheartedly with everything Judy says, I'd like to reiterate one of her points-
Relationships- whether they're casual, serious, friends, coworkers, marriages, or any combination should be EASY. If it's mentally exhausting and feels like hard work simply to stay in one, it's not right. The relationship should click, should feel good, and even though everyone has ups and downs, it shouldn't consist of blame and whining and stress more than happiness and fun and simply BEING.
I certainly hope you wouldn't allow your girlfriends to continue to see you and spend time with you if they carried on in such a negative, whiny, overyl sensitive way! Why should a man be allowed to? You aren't allowed to have one off day but he can act as if the entire world will end if you don't tell him repeatedly how you feel and cater to his whims?
I don't mean to sounds as if I don't like him, but I definitely don't like him for you. Just as a better match is out there for you, so is one for him.
Moody, who would say goodbye firmly as she shut the door on this relationship
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