Work, home & the freaking holidays......

Avatar for myprecioustwo
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Registered: 04-08-2003
Work, home & the freaking holidays......
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Tue, 09-11-2007 - 1:21pm

Anyone see the Devil wears Prada movie? Where the guy says to the young girl Andy, if your love life goes down the drain, you are up for promotion!

In the last two months I have realized that maybe the reason I have no desire in a relationship is because I am so over worked fulfilled at work. I'm only concentrating on my career now and in the great way it's shaping out, I hope that it will bring bigger and better things in the near future. Keeping the nose to the grindstone and school. It makes me happy and content and I can't even think of having a relationship right now. I think it's good timing.....

All I want to do is go home to my couch and see my girls. Do homework with the youngest, watch some tv, have dinner with them, do the bedtime story and go to sleep.

My sister and I already had the first major arguement about my coming to Texas for the Holidays. She told me that under no circumstances, does she want Alex's father or his mother in her house. As if SHE was the one that was a single mother! I told her I will be in Texas for 10 days and he never did anything to her for her to have such animosity towards him. That I should be the one who feels anger and frustration of putting up with him for the holidays. Why do family members always think THEY are more hit and hurt by actions that were never taken out on them? I told her he is my oldest DD's father; like it or not! That she'll have to deal with him and his mom as I do for my DD's sake and if she can't, I'll stay with DD's grandmother, her dad's mom, before I start having to make choices, etc. I am not always happy what Alex's grandmother says or does, but she has helped me out ALOT! She definitely doesn't deserve to be treated so rudely. She's just sometimes a little bit rough around the edges, but mostly very very nice and has been extremely kind to both of the girls and I. She sends us packages with clothes, shoes, jewelery, etc twice a month, because her son is a dead beat.

My sister also wants Alex for Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. I want Alex with me as well. Would it be a bad thing if I were to tell DD's Dad and Grandmother who never had Alex for Christmas Holidays that they can have her all Christmas Eve DAY, but have to bring her back at 7:30pm on Christmas Eve? And they pick her up Christmas morning anytime? Or should I ask them to pick her up on Christmas Eve late? Around 10pm or 11pm, so they have her all of Christmas morning? I don't want them to feel I am keeping them Christmas Eve and Christmas morning all to myself, but I don't want to be without her either and I know my DD wants Xmas with me and her little sister too.

However, my sister refuses to let her Dad and her Grandmother stay with us for Christmas Eve or Christmas morning. My sister said, I can't invite them in the house. Isn't that a little over the top? What do I do?




Edited 9/11/2007 1:24 pm ET by myprecioustwo

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Avatar for myprecioustwo
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Registered: 04-08-2003
Wed, 09-12-2007 - 8:53am

My sister and I have been talking about Christmas for years and she knows VERY well that Alex and I will be seeing Alex's grandmother and Dad.


She asked me what Alex's Dad has to do with anything and why we are even giving him the time of day!!! Well DUH, it's her Dad - dead beat and all! She of ALL people should know, because

Avatar for myprecioustwo
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Registered: 04-08-2003
Wed, 09-12-2007 - 9:26am

You do seem grumpy! LOL!


I live in NC, they live in Texas.


I have to take my children wherever I go, so I have to wait for them to have time off from school. Next time off is either Thanksgiving (*holiday) or Christmas. After that, its' April for Spring break and that is WAY to late and again, during Easter holidays.


Plus, if you are making the holiday visit as a test to see if you'd like to move to TX... I'd say it will probably be a test that fails! If it's going to be nothing but fights and aggravation, then you SHOULDN'T move there to be closer to family, should you!??? There shouldn't even be any time spent considering it!- I didn't know, I was going to get that reaction, I'm not psychic. In the past it was NEVER EVER a issue! Now suddenly it is. For no reason. If I WERE to move to Texas, I would have my own place, now wouldn't I? That wouldn't be an issue ever again; would it? I could invite everyone to my place and they would have to deal with it or stay away, wouldn't they? I am looking at Texas for OTHER reasons. Not so much just because of my sister, but because of Alex's Dad and her Grandparents. It is Alex's decision if she wants to make that move or not. Nina's dad lives in Germany, so it really doesn't matter where

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Registered: 05-13-2005
Wed, 09-12-2007 - 9:52am

Somehow I have a good feeling about you being closer to Alex's dad. Is he stationed there or there consistently? Or does he travel a lot? I still think the decision should be based on your job and school opportunity since you are the major breadwinner - but Texas couldn't be that much different from NC - I mean it is all in the US and not like you are some specialized professional that can only work in NYC or something.

It is good you are hashing it out with your sister. Relationships are messy - they are about standing up for your own needs and trying to make them mesh with someone else's in a manner that is not too offensive. There is no such thing as a "magic relationship wand" that suddenly makes everyone want the same lovey dovey thing for each other. And especially for the holidays. I think it is always best to hash it all out in advance so there are no surprises. Or not as many surprises!!

You may want to stay at Grandma's house for Xmas eve and then join your sister later Xmas morning. Because I don't think she will really put her issues aside and grandma is not going to be around forever and would make the whole time all about you and the girls. It is better that you know them now so you can work around them.

Avatar for myprecioustwo
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Registered: 04-08-2003
Wed, 09-12-2007 - 10:15am

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