Worry Wart....

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Registered: 04-08-2003
Worry Wart....
4
Mon, 10-13-2008 - 9:34am
Now I know why RF is too good to be true! He's a worry wart! In the last week, he would be really silent at times and not say a word. I thought it was me, because women usually assume the worst. So it turned out, he was thinking about a project at work, the economy, his halloween costume, his mom's health, his sister who cares for his mom, who to choose for President, didn't know what to eat.. and the list goes on and on. Oh my GOSH! I thought I was going to go nuts. I kept telling him that if he keeps it up, he's going to make himself sick that way.
I guess I don't want him to be all bubbly and talkative all the time, but I don't want him to sit their in silence for hours thinking about god knows what all.
He said he just worries about others and it makes him think about what he can do to help. So I told him, he's going to either have to figure out what he can do and do it or quit thinking about it, if he doesn't take action. Then we had the discussion about the circle of control and how when he doesn't have control of certain situations, then he worries if it'll get done right (I do the same). So we talked about how to overcome those things. BUT GEESH! I know I can't handle people that walk away from the bad and always only think positive, but I know I can't handle someone that is always going to worry about stuff all the time. Since we were at this place all last week and yesterday, I told him we have to get out of the house and do stuff. Last week, we didn't because he was exhausted from work and I didn't want him to go out. Yesterday, it was because of Football, but the weather was awesome and I was sad that we didn't. Sooo I told him, this week, we are going to get out and something.
I also helped him solve his costume for work. His company is HUGE into costumes for Halloween, so I was able to come up with him being: Harry Potter all grown-up, slob and bitter. We came up with some great ideas about it yesterday and he felt MUCH better.
It's funny, because he LOOKS just like Harry Potter would if grown up (with glasses and all) and he's a huge fan like I am. Sooo, he felt relieved about that.
We left a little on a sad note last night, because we came into a discussion that didn't make me very happy. It was about him feeling uncomfortable about sickness and death and he doesn't handle those things well. I then finally told him that I was a cancer survivor and the idea of him running in the other direction when people get sick, isn't very calming for me. Anyway, I'm sure it'll be all ok, but I just didn't feel very well having that conversation, so I just left.
I keep reminding myself that we are soooooo new and that we are really into the learning stages of each other.
A few days to give each other might be a good idea. I think I need some woman cave time and if he does the same, let him do it.
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Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 10-13-2008 - 9:59am
Girl, there is nothing wrong with a little cave time, lol.
 
Avatar for myprecioustwo
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Registered: 04-08-2003
Mon, 10-13-2008 - 1:18pm
Thank, I appreciate the words of encouragement! I agree, we all do have our one or two issues. Me? I probably have a dozen!! :) I think what helps is that RF and I are so alike that I can totally relate to a lot of what he feels and how his thought process works. I used to worry soo much about everything until I got sick and learned to not let things get to me so badly. Worrying about other peoples actions just drove me insane. I am definitely learning as time goes on. He is a lot more quiet then I thought he was. I have to allow him to be that. He was worried that it would cause a problem. When he asked, for a brief moment I almost said yes, but then I remembered, I just have to allow his silent type and the fact that he is more the listener and I'm more the talker. This is a good combination for both of us. I am more funny and open then he is, but he always laughs when I tease him, or poke him a little. All of it is an adjustment and I just need to remember no one, including me is going to be perfect and so far, he is as close to perfect as it gets. I'll just need to prod him to get up and go take a walk in the sun the next time I feel we are stuck indoors on a beautiful day, instead of getting sad and talking gloom. :)
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-28-2008
Mon, 10-13-2008 - 3:06pm

Hey Cat..


You're right..it IS still new and you'r getting to know each other. If over some time his anxieties seem to be too much, you will know. Maybe this is just a phase. I know that for me I get a week of anxiety every now and then I can't shake. Or sometimes a few days of depression.


But still I can see your irritation. No reason not to make note of it, but give it some time to see if it will pass. I like how you encouraged him to get out and do stuff. For me that is a must.. to get out of the house. As long as you don't have to be the one to continually nudge him.


Cool idea for the costume. I so have to get dd's ready..plus she is having a party and I'm lagging! (see I worry too lol!)

pacificsun2-1.jpg picture by samsigs
pacificsun2-1.jpg picture by samsigs
Avatar for myprecioustwo
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2003
Mon, 10-13-2008 - 3:20pm
During PMS week I worry alot! So I guess I have a habit sometimes too. He had a gut instinct about his work project and today, he was right, the guy that said they would have more time with the client, was wrong, they don't. So he had a right to worry about that. I told him to try and get himself to Florida to see his Mom and sister. If he gets his project done this week, I'll help him with the Costume and I will be able to send him off this weekend to see his mom and sister. It's only a 5 hour drive. Maybe he just needs a hand in getting things sorted out a bit. I'll have to ease into the conversation about the fact that I am willing to help him through the weeds a bit. It seems my oldest DD is in the weeds too. I'm glad I feel out of the weeds and very calm this week. :) Way to go me! LOL