Would you? Have you? Or considered....
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Would you? Have you? Or considered....
| Tue, 07-13-2004 - 11:22am |
an affair with a married man or you being the married woman with another man? It has been a big debate at the moment in our office and a very interesting one.
Could you or would you be able too, or were you ever able to keep it totally separate from your emotional feelings.
I couldn't find an emoticom for this one.

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Stupid mistake #1-He was VERY charming. And I thought we were just friends.
Good for you!
Hugs!
Mel
<a href="http://www.TickerFactory.com/weight-loss/wtCMCc4/">
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My difficult points in my life didn't come until I was in my mid 20s . . . . had I been forced to deal with difficulties earlier on . . . I don't know that I had the self respect at those times to make good decisions. I know *NOW* - there is no way. 10 years ago - I'm not so sure.
Mindy
http://cosmosandcranium.blogspot.com/
I learned alot in therapy about WHY I did what I did. HOW incredibly rejected I felt and how my self exteem was in the toilet and here was a man who played on that vulnerablity and charmed me for his own self satisfaction. IT was awful. I went through not only the rejection of my husband but this other man as well.
As to would I EVER consider it again NO WAY - I know how it feels on ALL SIDES OF AN AFFAIR (used to post on that board too) and in no way does is it morally right and its just down right SELFISH and CRUEL to all parties involved.
I do however think that all are infaluable to it - especially when self esteem/depression issues are involved.
Mel is right, everybody makes mistakes in life, all kinds of mistakes, and all we can do from there is learn from it and grow through it, beyond it.
Hugs lizbeth. I think you are right. We are ALL vulnerable at different times to different things. This is one of them.
Glad you sought therapy on it. I have yet to do so, and it's been a long time. But the baggage still creeps up from time to time. And I know FOR A FACT that it had more to do with my low self esteem than anything else. I can't FATHOM being in that place now. And even after that, other opportunities for the same mistake presented itself, but it wasn't a draw and I RAN RAN RAN hard.
I could not be on either end of an affair.
I couldn't do it to another woman...AND I don't want to be used like that.
Kim
I know all about the pain and effects-- stop on by and lurk at the ending affair board sometime you will see these are women who arent monsters.
Im not here in life to hide and well I am human infaluable to mistakes - and yep made a HUGE one. Its who I am and who you are. We learned from it and have become stronger women from it- as long as we arent repeating the bad behavior I think it something you defintily should not be ashamed of. I refuse to let anything shame me anymore.
So I ended it, and moved over 16 hours away to be closer to my family. A year after this all happened I got a call- not from the wife, no- his MISTRESS! She was crying on the phone telling me she wanted her life back with this guy. I was shocked, I didn't know what to say to her. She said she wanted me to stop seeing him. I said, "I haven't seen him since I moved away over a year ago." She had heard that he was seeing someone on his long distance trips and thought it was me, since she had found my number in his truck and knew I had moved away. I did talk to the wife later on that year, and I told her the truth. She didn't blame me at all, which I was thankful.
I guess we learn these lessons for a reason, right?
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