WOW! I have had a lot of pain pent up...
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| Wed, 11-26-2008 - 11:25am |
Last night, I received a text message from the guy that dumped me over 4 months ago. I was having a lot of issues and bleeding when he broke up with me. I had told him that I was scared it was going to be bad news again and he couldn't handle the idea that I might have uterus cancer again and so he left me high and dry. I was really devastated by it and one of the main reasons I kind of quit dating until I met RF. Then even with RF, he was close to what I wanted, but I didn't realize until last night, how much I was still hurting from the guy (we'll call him JO (jerk off)).
I didn't realize that I really fell in love with that guy. He was amazing and I really cared about him and I didn't want to admit much to the board, but him leaving really devastated me. He never wanted to know if it was a scare or if I turned out ok or anything. He just never ever contacted me again. UNTIL last night.....
I got a text message that said: I hope you are doing well.
I didnt' know right away who it was, because I deleted his number (to not be tempted), but my gut was pretty sure it was him. I wrote back to ask who it was. He wrote back: don't worry about it.
I knew. I just knew, so I did fall asleep but woke up last night and this morning tossing and turning. I checked my cell phone calls this morning from June and sure enough, it matched his number. :(
Can I just tell you, I cried. I cried so hard and it just hurt so much. I couldn't stop. I was hurt, angry furious and sad. The tears keep streaming down everytime I think of how he just left me alone and then has the odacity to contact me after 4 months of NOTHING. Not knowing if I was ok or not, nothing.
We had such an incredible time together and we were so close and then boom.. gone.
Of course I did the stupid thing and I sent him and email this morning.
It was pretty short paragraph, but I told him what I needed to. It was stupid maybe, but he left me to wallow in all this fear and unknowning. I was so upset that he opened this can of worms in my life again after 4 months that I just let it out.
My eyes are puffy, but I feel better. I just can't believe that I let him get to me like this. It made me realize how hurt I was by him and how much I really cared about him.

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What???
The guy is either clueless or thoughtless of both. Who texts after
::HUGS::
I hope this was a cathartic episode and helps you deal with the feelings. All things happen for a reason, but I'm sorry this guy caused you the pain he did.
And BTW, what a jerk!
Big hugs! Leave it to a guy to reopen old wounds. HE is obviously not ready for a relationship of any kind and it was probably a good thing that he disappeared. But I think for you its a good thing that you let your feelings out and not a stupid thing at all that you emailed them to him. He needs to think about how his actions hurt people. And he should have called to see how you were, not texted. What a chicken.
Laurie
What a pig of a man. How anyone could do that to another human, let alone one they supposedly like is just amazing. I don't blame you for emailing him. I think the jerk needs a reality check.
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Tracy
(((HUGS))) I just want to hug you after reading that. I am glad you told him how it made you feel but he deserves more pain than that. Like a swollen mouth, missing teeth, and a broken nose from a good right hook- or a swift kick in the balls.
But also you not knowing who it was was probably a nice blow to his ego. I know it doesn't make it right or make up for what he did but I hope it helps a little.
Thank you all for the support. After getting over the flu and the blast from the past, I feel much better now.
I haven't checked my email but I hope he didn't respond. I just want it to be over.
We were together for a little over three months, so it wasnt' that much time invested, but like I said, it hurt more then I thought it would when he just disappeared at a time where I actually really needed support and believed in him. Before we dated, he knew I was sick a several years ago and he told me that he thought my X fiance was a REAL jerk for leaving me when I was sick the first time with cancer. He kept saying what a creep he was. WELL, guess he was the same kind of creep.
HOWEVER, the really good thing is everything turned out ok. Right?
Thanks again for the support. I feel myself stronger in general and I care less and less if I ever meet someone. I rather have someone who is totally into me then some guy that only sticks around for the fun and games. I've had enough of those types and rather be on my own! Too much drama involved. Im' rather enjoying the alone single life anyway. :)
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