Wow Wow Wow. He can STILL amaze me -

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Wow Wow Wow. He can STILL amaze me -
30
Wed, 11-21-2007 - 10:28pm

I WHAT was i THINKING???? Well, here is the craziness - what he is trying to do, i dont know? Either he is so off the deep end that he isnt thinking strait, OR, more likley, he was trying to set up the scenario that he nicely asked for visitation on the holiday numerous times & I ignored him. The interesting thing is like my email, his is the same, when you e someone back - the original emial stays IN that new email. Well, his used to. Now, suddenly, it isnt. I guess he forgets that MY emial is dated & i CAN prove i continually answered him.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2005
Sat, 11-24-2007 - 2:34am

((((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))


Every time I read the story I'm just as shocked as the last time I read it!


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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2004
Sat, 11-24-2007 - 10:21am

GOD this guys is 200% crazy. I never read all of this before..


Can you please try and get a job may be like in another state (far away) or just move to Europe or somewhere for like 10 years. If I were you I would have moved far far far away and never even given him my address.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2004
Sat, 11-24-2007 - 10:34am

((((((((((((R))))))))))))


I've known you since we were pregnant with our Feb2K babies (Averey and my MonkeyBunny)- and I've heard the stories for years. It's still shocking to read it all again, all in one spot! And this isn't even half of it!


It's crazy to have seen him "evolve" from being somewhat normal with his moments of mean, to having more moments of mean and becoming more selfish. It just escalated over the years- and it wasn't that you ignored it, but you spent many years trying to help him through it. But you know it's not up to YOU to help him. And you knew when he became physically violent, that it was WAAAY too much. And to have ANY of it happen in front of Ave!?? That is even a step beyond "too much"- because she surely doesn't need to see any of that.


Poor Ave for all that she's already seen and heard. But I'm glad you have her in counseling so she can hopefully sort it all out. And I hope she won't be messed up by her father's actions- because HE surely isn't trying to prevent it! She's lucky to have YOU, Rebecca... and I know she will know that you're the one she can trust. I'm sure she sees THAT already.


It's just scary to me, R- that your ex can end up being one of those madmen who snaps and kills and not even realize at the time, the severity and permanence of what he is doing. I just hope you are VERY careful. It's sad that he lost that great Dad feature that he DID have at one time. I used to love seeing all the snoozing-together-on-the-couch pics that you had of them. It's too bad that he couldn't get the help he needed to stay THAT way with Averey. He could have a great relationship with Ave, apart from you- if he would just realize that!!! But instead, he has this all-or-nothing attitude and if he can't have the married life back, he is throwing everything else away. It's sad.


The whole train of events just amaze me. And he's really deep into the deep end and doesn't even seem to WANT to get himself out.


~shrimpy

"A man who wants something will find a way; a man who doesn't will find an excuse." ~Stephen Dolley Jr.

~<

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2007
Sat, 11-24-2007 - 11:29am

Hey,

After reading all that, I guess I do know every intimate detail. And I want to kick his arse, as he makes men look bad and is a crappy human to boot.

I hope you didn't take my post in a harsh way. It wasn't intended to be that. I have just seen very, very well intentioned women (and a man) get screwed because of the court system and as much as everything sucked they got hammered because THEY didn't bend over one hundred times harder then the idiot ex.

I would still recommend that you file a motion and be on the offensive. Better to get this settled permanently then continue on like this.

My apologies for the life you lead. Hopefully you are like the rest of us here and have found the "you" who was lost. I live on the east coast. I know some people who might be real Sopranos...

zen

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2003
Sat, 11-24-2007 - 11:41am

I agree with Alison's word choice: "shocking".

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-17-2003
Sat, 11-24-2007 - 12:53pm

Just remember that emails are not always admissable in court because they can be changed, faked or altered.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2005
Sat, 11-24-2007 - 3:07pm

Great little website there, Steph!


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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Sat, 11-24-2007 - 3:07pm
Rebecca, I really feel you need to get in to see the psych and have him help you evaluate all of this and what you should do from here. If I was you I would be on a mission to permanently and legally seal him out of my life, even if I had to move and disappear. To me, this is way over the top and very scary. I would not trust him with a child because his anger is out of control and he seems to have the ability to do something that every one will regret for a long time. I know you want a father for Avery - but I really do not think he is capable of that and that he is so angry at you for the divorce and is so out of control with his alcohol and mental issues that he does not and will not get a grip. I hate to sound so harsh but I really worry for you. I pray that you can find the strength and wisdom to do the right thing.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-21-2006
Sun, 11-25-2007 - 7:43pm
I was sooo hoping I had been wrong and your X managed to keep his head on straight just for a few hours. Sigh... and ((HUGS)). I'm with West on this, if my X, who has very similar issues, were to get this whacko, I'd be so gone so fast- but I can afford to get lost in the world. I'd also excercise every option of getting sole legal custody first. But that is very hard to do with this legal system that does put parents' rights above the best interest of the child. Some people are just too freaking nuts to be allowed near young kids.
I really think he's hitting a crisis period. Again Rebecca, be careful.
QueenBun, who really has learned to set boundaries with PsychoBoy and it has been better, not great, but better.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Mon, 11-26-2007 - 1:23pm

Nah, the only thing that got me on the defensive was telling me that I may be trying to punish him/get back at him. Shoot, someone SHOULD do that, but its not my job. My ONLY job here is to protect our innocent child.


& lol about the E coast. Im here to ... Providence MUST have some Soprano relatives

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