XH contact this morning .....

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
XH contact this morning .....
21
Mon, 12-24-2007 - 10:37am

I am still amazed. Why?


Ave asked to call him to say Merry Xmas eve. I would prefer she do it now, whiel I am here with her, as opposed to tonite when she is with her cousins. He has NOT called her in 4 weeks, except for twice, & that was a few weeks ago. The only time they have spoken in the past 2 weeks is once, when she called him. & then again today.


I am still amazed. Why?


Ave asked to call him to say Merry Xmas eve. I would prefer she do it now, while I am here with her, as opposed to tonite when she is with her cousins b/c

Photobucket

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Mon, 12-24-2007 - 10:56am

You are doing the right thing.

He may not like you setting a boundary - but with continued reinforcement of the boundary, which is totally right for Ave, you will find that things do get better in time.

"So, its not up to us, only to Daddy & the docotor & judge. & she was ok with it."
BINGO - he has to live with this. Perhaps being alone and without her on Xmas will help him see he has to get help and play by the rules.

I wonder if you should spend Xmas somewhere else so he cannot come to your house and find you? Be careful!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Mon, 12-24-2007 - 11:10am

Exactly. Im sure he is SHOCKED i am actually sticking BY the boundries.


I work tonite till late (11p) & then we come back here, then leave by appx 10am. I really REALLY dont ever expect he will show up here. Emotionally he cannot handle being anywhere near the house. To put your mind at ease, you have to remember this is 3 years into this - although this IS the 1st holiday I am keeping her from him, he has been MUCH MUCH MUCH more angry & unstable than this in the past, & he still never could bring himself to come near the house.

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at PhotobucketPhoto Sharing and Video Hosting at PhotobucketPhoto Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

Rebecca, Mom to Averey, 2/8/00, Kibo, Sana & Zuri too!

Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Mon, 12-24-2007 - 11:13am

Okay. You are doing so so so good. And this will help things get much easier for you in the future. It just seems stressful now - but that is always what happens when you start to set a boundary.

Hugs and Merry Christmas.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2005
Mon, 12-24-2007 - 12:12pm

Ugh!


Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Mon, 12-24-2007 - 12:29pm

DUCKING from Al ... lol


He has left 2 more phone messages, pathetically begging to "just see her for a minute". I just sent this, AND cc'd it to his sister, brother & mother.


*********************************************************************************


M, Please stop calling & asking if you can see her. YOU made the choices over the past years to act like you do in front of & to Averey, which ended up with your not being allowed to see her. YOU made the choice to not do what you were told to do by the courts & the doctor, in order to see her - specifically to be in touch with the court ordered psychologist, Dr. K. You were well aware of the situation & you chose to ignore it all this time, as well as barely calling Averey in the past month.


Whether or not i want you to see her is

Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2005
Mon, 12-24-2007 - 12:46pm

REBECCA!!!!!


TSK TSK TSK!


Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2004
Mon, 12-24-2007 - 12:59pm

Aw, R!!! I wish you hadn't sent him that email!!!!!! I guess I'll be throwing snowballs at you, right beside Alison on this one. I know you were not saying any of it with any mean intent... but HE will read that and get nothing out of it but that you are dictating his life for him. With any luck- maybe he won't actually read it, like he seems to do with past emails.


What find surprising about that original posting though- was that you told him (again) to contact the psych doctor about seeing Averey... and he actually asked you to give him the number. WTF?!?! HE should have the number on his own by now!!! Why is he still expecting YOU to do this stuff for him?? (And you still did- by sending him the number!) He seriously needs to just learn to take care of his own matters.


I do hope he won't get fired up because of that latest email.


~shrimpy

~shrimpy

"A man who wants something will find a way; a man who doesn't will find an excuse." ~Stephen Dolley Jr.

~<

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Mon, 12-24-2007 - 1:07pm

Oh dear.

On one hand I am glad you restate everything and stand firm.

But on the other hand I fear you open a bag of worms because now everyone is going to want to get involved and say let her see him for Xmas. And you really should not keep explaining yourself so much. You just need to delete delete delete.

Please DO NOT LET HIM SEE HER FOR XMAS. And do not answer any more calls or emails. I pray he is not there when you try to drop off the gift.

I really wish you would not spend Xmas at your house - that makes me so nervous.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Mon, 12-24-2007 - 1:45pm
I know, I know, But truly i thought it would diffuse the situation to let him know HE IS NOT SEEING HER & why. Dont forget, no one ever actually (lawyer or doc) TOLD him he cannot see her based on the DOC,'s rules,

Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Mon, 12-24-2007 - 1:48pm

There is NO NO NO chance of my letting him see her, i promise. & ALL of his family is completely behind me. I promise you that. I only cc'd them b/c they are supportive of me & they know whats gone on & I felt they needed to know exactly what transpired so he WOULDNT fool them into thinking he is supposed to see her.


& Im not dropping the gifts, no way. His brother has them to give to him. Not taking THAT chance at all.


& i wont be here for Xmas, only overnite tonite from 12am - 10am, then gone for 3 days. Promise!

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at PhotobucketPhoto Sharing and Video Hosting at PhotobucketPhoto Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

Rebecca, Mom to Averey, 2/8/00, Kibo, Sana & Zuri too!

Photobucket

Pages