Yes! I may have finally hit the jackpot!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Yes! I may have finally hit the jackpot!
7
Thu, 01-04-2007 - 10:47am

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-09-2006
Thu, 01-04-2007 - 11:03am
Good for you! It feels so good to get some validation when you go through all of this crap. I've gone through my share even though larger it was amiable, it still had its moments so I know how good it feels when you have a little victory. Good Girl!!! You should be proud of yourself for not backing down and standing strong on this. Congratulations!!!!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2002
Thu, 01-04-2007 - 11:15am

CONGRATULATIONS!!

It has taken a long time but looks like you will finally get some justice on this issue. Being steadfast in all your note taking will pay off... I bet you are glad you took good notes and never gave up. I'm so happy for you. That is wonderful news!!

Love,
Loonybunny

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-30-2003
Thu, 01-04-2007 - 1:18pm

Mothers are usually accused of parent alienation syndrome. My ex joined a militant father's group very early in the custody battle. I have since learned that the there are tons of people working for these father's groups. They are much more organized than mothers. There are attorneys, mediators, psychologists, and child custody specialists who are favored by father's groups.

I hope the male therapist turns out to be useful. I will give my experience with custody issues. We had complete psychological evaluations. The psychologist said a lot of encouraging things in my favor when he was talking to me privately. I mean, he said that my ex needed parenting classes, etc... However, when he got on the stand, he was very middle of the road. He did not recommend parenting classes and he recommended joint custody. If you know anything about my ex, no one would recommend joint custody in our case because my ex takes a contrary position to EVERYTHING and anything. For joint custody to work, both parents have to come to an agreement on where the kid goes to school, medical stuff etc.....

The judge understood that joint custody in our case would lead to endless litigation when we couldn't agree on life issues concerning DS...so, I got sole custody no thanks to the psychologist who seemed so sympathetic when he was talking to me one-on-one.

Just be aware when you talk to the therapist, that he might say something different on the stand. Also, he will use the sessions to tease out information about you. He will be judging you with a smile on his face the whole time.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Thu, 01-04-2007 - 1:51pm

Im sorry you had such a bad experience!


The difference though is that this isnt for custody at all. In essence, we have joint legal, & I have physical possession & placement.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-30-2003
Thu, 01-04-2007 - 2:00pm

OIC, I misunderstood. I thought this was for expert testimony.

That might work out if your ex will listen to a 3rd party. My ex has a psychologist friend and sometimes I think that guy actually talks some sense into my ex, because every now and then my ex will talk a world of sense and straighten out for just a bit.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2006
Thu, 01-04-2007 - 3:12pm

This is great news, Rebecca! Keep us posted, I'm glad you had everything documented, and glad that finally someone is listening to you. Averey is so lucky to have a mother like you!

Moody


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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Thu, 01-04-2007 - 9:27pm

I think it is good you are taking the time and effort to put your exh into place on this bad and terribly hurting behavior. It is good that it is documented. And better still that a boundary and lesson is set. He has to learn he can't get away with that.

I hope that he will change his behavior somehow - there just has to be someone to get through to him that he is not hurting you, he is hurting his daughter, himself and their relationship. She will see through all of this in time on her own.

Somehow I don't think this is the last time you will have to deal with it, though, even though it is a great start.

My lawyer once told me, nothing is ever set or done until the child turns 18.

There just seems to be no worse trouble than having to share a dearly beloved child with an ex that doesn't want to make it easy.

HUGS to you and Avery. You are a great mom!! Do keep us posted!!