Hi there startingover_33 and welcome!! You came to the right place. Don't worry now - just focus on you and the baby. You are going to love being a new mom - it is a challenge but it is such a privilege. I love my son more than life and would choose him over any man any day.
Of course when you are ready you can meet the right person for you. Everyone has a right person for them. Now, some your age may not want the responsibility of a baby, but those are more the clubbing types. Others may be delighted that they get a family package and a chance to make a difference in a child's life. And they will love you both. A child is a filter to help find the right guy!!
You are still young and have the rest of your life. You will LOVE your baby and being a mom - it is a whole new world. Rest up sweetie - come back and visit as often as you can - and read and participate in our posts!!
I hope the others reply, too. They always have great advice and chances are some have been in your shoes and can tell you more stories and tips. I was an old fart when I had my son - and I wish I had started sooner and had more children.
I'm kind of curious to wonder why you decided to have a child when it is always pretty clear that your social life will change and that the dating pool becomes smaller.
Not to sound rude, but I was pregnant with 21 and KNEW I would be alone and single when deciding to have my first child. I was 6 weeks pregnant and knew my daughters father wouldn't stick around. However, I didn't care. I was ready to be a mother and ready to be alone for the rest of my life if it meant having
Like the other poster, I had my child in my early twenties ( actually I guess I was 24 but still) and I was well aware as I decided to keep the pregnancy and as I had him that his Dad might not be around even though we married. I just had this voice in my head saying I might have to do this alone and asking myself if I was ready. And I was. I certainly didnt have as much of a social life but with the right help and family support, you will still meet people and go out. As West said, the baby is a great way to filter through people who would only be using you. Ultimately, I still feel I dated as much as most people in my twnties, made just as many mistakes and now have found someone wonderful who is thrilled to be here with my son and I both. I think you have to cut yourself some slack in the panic department too. I remember my last month of pregnancy and I was feeling anxiety about almost everything. I wasnt sure how I was going to make anything work and the great unknown factor is this unborn child so the truth is, you just have to open your heart and weight for he or she to get here. Dont forget to enjoy the beginning of this time in your life when you become someone's Mom. It is terrifying but dont let the fear blind you or numb you to how special it can be as well. I dont think the last month is the optimal month to be turning to the option of adoption because it is the most likely time for you to panic. If you had wanted to place your baby for adoption and truly knew you couldnt be there your baby, I believe you would have come to this decision earlier. I would hate for you to regret it after the panic subsided. If you do choose adoption however, rest assured there are tons of prospective parents out there that would be overcome with joy to adopt your baby and love it as their own. Do stick around and post. And take notice that a lot of these ladies have social lives that would make younger childless women fall over from exhaustion!
That is a good point about the last month making a panic month- I had that and I was married and 34 and the baby was planned. Everything will be fine and you will take each day one day at a time. Babies grow very fast - before you know it your little pipsqueak will be in school!!
You will have a social life with other moms - there are all sorts of fun mommy and me things to do and parks and library - on and on.
Cat, you do have a very tough story - maybe you can add some good tips for how you managed on your own through all of that especially the first one where you were on your own and so young - how did you learn and get through all of it? Were you here or in Europe?
And how did you get married at 25 as a single mom? I think you have mentioned that marriage didn't work out because he didn't want you to have a 2nd child which would have been his? But maybe there is some insight there as well.
I don't think I was really young. Maybe because I had a very rough life prior to that. I had lived on the streets when I was 19 for a year and I was as drug addict. Alex's Dad was in my life, but living on the streets was
I do think this is an excellent example of how a child can force you to make your own life better and to make you a better person.
I am cracking up that you took him on a 4 hour car ride to make sure he would listen - that is actually clever. Nothing like a captive audience, right?
But how did you learn to care for a baby? And who watched her (Alex)? So you were divorced when you had Nina? Did the dad ever show interest afterwards - or wait - it is him or his family that takes them in Europe.
It is great that you could work your way up in the hotel. I can relate to that from my hotel experience!!
I had the basics in the hospital. Nothing much to do when caring for a baby. I had help in the beginning by a organization for single mom's. I was told how to bathe, dress, feed and care for one. They gave me clothes and toys,
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Hi there startingover_33 and welcome!! You came to the right place. Don't worry now - just focus on you and the baby. You are going to love being a new mom - it is a challenge but it is such a privilege. I love my son more than life and would choose him over any man any day.
Of course when you are ready you can meet the right person for you. Everyone has a right person for them. Now, some your age may not want the responsibility of a baby, but those are more the clubbing types. Others may be delighted that they get a family package and a chance to make a difference in a child's life. And they will love you both. A child is a filter to help find the right guy!!
You are still young and have the rest of your life. You will LOVE your baby and being a mom - it is a whole new world. Rest up sweetie - come back and visit as often as you can - and read and participate in our posts!!
I hope the others reply, too. They always have great advice and chances are some have been in your shoes and can tell you more stories and tips. I was an old fart when I had my son - and I wish I had started sooner and had more children.
I'm kind of curious to wonder why you decided to have a child when it is always pretty clear that your social life will change and that the dating pool becomes smaller.
Not to sound rude, but I was pregnant with 21 and KNEW I would be alone and single when deciding to have my first child. I was 6 weeks pregnant and knew my daughters father wouldn't stick around. However, I didn't care. I was ready to be a mother and ready to be alone for the rest of my life if it meant having
Welcome!
I think you have to cut yourself some slack in the panic department too. I remember my last month of pregnancy and I was feeling anxiety about almost everything. I wasnt sure how I was going to make anything work and the great unknown factor is this unborn child so the truth is, you just have to open your heart and weight for he or she to get here. Dont forget to enjoy the beginning of this time in your life when you become someone's Mom. It is terrifying but dont let the fear blind you or numb you to how special it can be as well.
I dont think the last month is the optimal month to be turning to the option of adoption because it is the most likely time for you to panic. If you had wanted to place your baby for adoption and truly knew you couldnt be there your baby, I believe you would have come to this decision earlier. I would hate for you to regret it after the panic subsided. If you do choose adoption however, rest assured there are tons of prospective parents out there that would be overcome with joy to adopt your baby and love it as their own.
Do stick around and post. And take notice that a lot of these ladies have social lives that would make younger childless women fall over from exhaustion!
April
That is a good point about the last month making a panic month- I had that and I was married and 34 and the baby was planned. Everything will be fine and you will take each day one day at a time. Babies grow very fast - before you know it your little pipsqueak will be in school!!
You will have a social life with other moms - there are all sorts of fun mommy and me things to do and parks and library - on and on.
Cat, you do have a very tough story - maybe you can add some good tips for how you managed on your own through all of that especially the first one where you were on your own and so young - how did you learn and get through all of it? Were you here or in Europe?
And how did you get married at 25 as a single mom? I think you have mentioned that marriage didn't work out because he didn't want you to have a 2nd child which would have been his? But maybe there is some insight there as well.
I don't think I was really young. Maybe because I had a very rough life prior to that. I had lived on the streets when I was 19 for a year and I was as drug addict. Alex's Dad was in my life, but living on the streets was
I do think this is an excellent example of how a child can force you to make your own life better and to make you a better person.
I am cracking up that you took him on a 4 hour car ride to make sure he would listen - that is actually clever. Nothing like a captive audience, right?
But how did you learn to care for a baby? And who watched her (Alex)? So you were divorced when you had Nina? Did the dad ever show interest afterwards - or wait - it is him or his family that takes them in Europe.
It is great that you could work your way up in the hotel. I can relate to that from my hotel experience!!
I had the basics in the hospital. Nothing much to do when caring for a baby. I had help in the beginning by a organization for single mom's. I was told how to bathe, dress, feed and care for one. They gave me clothes and toys,
Pages