Your favorite dating/relatnshp book

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Your favorite dating/relatnshp book
9
Fri, 05-20-2005 - 7:03am

Hi to all:

We want to hear about your favorite dating and or relationship books. What have your read that has been great info to help you learn more about men, dating, love, relationships and sex?

- Please don't hesitate to mention the same book as someone else - the more the same book is mentioned the more we know it is good. And different people find different things they like so we will get everyone's input!!

- AND it is great if you promote the link to this message on other boards. The more input and messages the merrier!! :-)

Happy Friday!!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2003
Fri, 05-20-2005 - 1:43pm
Although not really linked to dating and understanding men, so probably not what you're looking for...I feel I have to recommend a book that really helped me when I first got separated. "The Four Agreements" by Don Miguel Ruiz. It basically became my 4 principle codes of conduct and in MANY situations it has helped me to think and act with a clear head, especially when dating and dealing with getting to know others. :)
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Fri, 05-20-2005 - 1:47pm
Do you mind sharing a synopsis of the 4 agreements? You pique my interest!!
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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Fri, 05-20-2005 - 3:30pm

It's been a while since I read it but Mars & Venus on a Date was interesting & insightful.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2003
Fri, 05-20-2005 - 5:10pm

Well, I honestly like "He's just not that into you".

Kim

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2003
Fri, 05-20-2005 - 6:55pm

Sure! In a nutshell, it really can be summed up to four things that are really quite simple! I still have trouble sometimes with #3. I keep catching myself jumping to conclusions and I have to constantly be conscious of it. But when I am, my life is SOOOO much simpler...

The Four Agreements
Everything we do is based on agreements we have made - agreements with ourselves, with other people, with God, with life. But the most important agreements are the ones we make with ourselves. In these agreements we tell ourselves who we are, how to behave, what is possible, what is impossible. One single agreement is not such a problem, but we have many agreements that come from fear, deplete our energy, and diminish our self-worth."

1. Be Impeccable With Your Word
Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.

2. Don't Take Anything Personally
Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you wonít be the victim of needless suffering.

3. Don't Make Assumptions
Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.

4. Always Do Your Best
Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse and regret.

http://www.miguelruiz.com/teachings/fouragreements.html

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Fri, 05-20-2005 - 6:59pm

I have a few favorites, not necessarily in any order.

- Venus and Mars on a date - sort of a take off from the original Venus/Mars book - gives a good overview of the differences between men and women in the dating process.

- He's Just Not That Into You - this book has had wild acclaim on Oprah and most dating boards here. I like it a lot because it allows you to understand that if a guy is "just not that into you" then you have to not take it personally and move on.

- Zen and the Art of Falling in Love - a great book to help you understand that people come and go in our lives and not everyone is meant to be a soul mate. It teaches you the value of being yourself so you meet the right person.

- Ten Stupid Things Women Do to Mess Up Their Lives by by Laura C. Schlessinger - this gives great advice for picking the right person

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Fri, 05-20-2005 - 7:39pm
Thank you so much for sharing - that is very good - I will get that book!!
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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Fri, 05-20-2005 - 7:42pm

Bravo!! I forgot about those stages - I am so glad you mentioned them.

He did set gender rules - but after reading his other book I have found them to be true most of the time - or at least helpful to understand how men think. At the very least, it has provided a fun sense of humor to us in my office - since everyone here has read that book.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-11-2004
Fri, 05-20-2005 - 11:23pm

I already mentioned my favorite relationship book in another post, but I'll repeat it here so all the books are in one thread:


There's an excellent book by Barbara DeAngelis: Are You the One For Me?

Stephanie, CL of the Dating as a Single Parent board: http://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv-p