Your perfect partner?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2005
Your perfect partner?
17
Sun, 01-14-2007 - 12:00am
What makes your partner perfect for you- or what would make someone be a perfect partner for you?



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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Sun, 01-14-2007 - 1:17am

1. No mood disorders! Upbeat & positive.


2. Family oriented & adores my child (& dogs!)


3. Loving, affectionate


4. funny


5. complimentary, kind, thoughful


6. good income & education


7. I guess I have to say honest too! With integrity.


8. No addictions or mental illnesses (been there, done that - Im ALL set)

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2006
Sun, 01-14-2007 - 10:01am

Wow, so many things. Humor, trust, love, kindness, willingness to accept my flaws and support my endeavors, welcoming and loving of my children, the ability to mesh lifestyles without it feeling forced, honesty, a great smile that he uses often, my ability to accept his flaws... these are a few things.

I don't know that I can even express my perfect man. He's a lot, but really, it's simple. When I find him, I like to think that I'll know. So far, I think I have kissed enough frogs to know who isn't my perfect man fairly quickly, so that's a great start for me.

Moody, willing to kiss more frogs if it comes to that


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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Sun, 01-14-2007 - 10:58am

1. likes me and sees my strong points
2. integrity
3. intelligence
4. no major characterflaws/bad habits
5. fun/active

So easy to list and so basic, yet so hard to find!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2004
Sun, 01-14-2007 - 12:57pm

Good question... made me think of Hiker, since he is my current perfect partner, and so far- the most perfect partner I've ever had.

He has respect for me. He asks for my opinion (if I don't just offer it myself first- lol) and he listens to it. We don't have to agree, but we can discuss things.

He is smart, and knows his stuff... but he doesn't make himself into a walking encyclopedia and doesn't make himself a know-it-all. He doesn't shove his intelligence into anyone's face. I really like that, because I try to be that way, too. I like knowing what I know- but I also know enough to know that I DON'T know it all.

He isn't demanding. He will ask for things if he wants them, but he never demands anything, and most of the time, he doesn't even ask. I think we end up with a nice balance of being able to give before being asked to give, and to be able to give when asked, too. It's not all one or the other.

He doesn't center his life around me. Sure, he enjoys my company, but I don't feel like I'm the driving force of his life (nor do I want to be). And he doesn't expect me to put him the center of my life, either. He doesn't get offended if he doesn't come first now and then, and he enjoys it when he does.

He can be funny, but he isn't a goofball or clown. His humor matches mine.

He is active and likes to be in shape, likes to be fit. And I am too. We can appreciate each other's endeavors to stay in shape, and LOVE the results. He's the sexiest man on the planet- and I love the reaction I get from him when I tell him that! Oh yeah- he's humble, too... and doesn't agree with me. But he milks it while he can because he knows we're having fun. ;-)

He is confident in himself. He knows what he knows and he's sure of what he knows. But again- he is not arrogant or cocky about it, unless it's just in fun.

He isn't afraid of me. I can be quite ME sometimes... and he enjoys it. And I don't mean anything abusive... just that "I am woman, hear me roar" kind of thing I get sometimes. I am SO not a damsel in distress and he isn't threatened by that.

He is supportive. He is sweet. He is helpful. He likes to take care of me but also knows that I can take care of myself or take care of him, too- and lets that happen as well.

He has flaws. And they are not deal-breaker flaws. And he knows my flaws and is okay with them as well. So far, no deal-breakers. :-) He doesn't ever criticize.

He is comfortable with me. I never have to feel like I have to put on a show when I'm around him. I can be who I am, and know that I am accepted that way. He has opened up with me as well- and I know that he feels more comfortable being himself around me too. He is much more open now than he was when we first started dating. I see bits of him that lets me know that he is secure in my acceptance of him and his ideas.

We share the same views on financial matters. We both like to spend for fun, but we both prefer to save first. Responsibilities do not go by the wayside for momentary fun.

We share the same views on religious matters- and both put about the same emphasis on how important it is in everyday life. We believe in God, but we are not out as bible-thumping preachers about it. It's more of a quiet sprituality that we share.

He puts the toilet seat down... most of the time. ;-)

I could talk about Hiker all day... but the NFL playoffs are about to start. hehe

~shrimpy, cheering for the Saints' win this week since the Cowboys blew it last week

~shrimpy

"A man who wants something will find a way; a man who doesn't will find an excuse." ~Stephen Dolley Jr.

~<

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Sun, 01-14-2007 - 3:50pm
That is quite good!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-21-2006
Sun, 01-14-2007 - 5:39pm

I don't belive in perfection but M is close enough for me right now.

1. Someone who I am very comfortable with, can be vulnerable with, show my flaws and know he's not going to expect me to be perfect.
2. Employed and industrious, good work ethic.
3. Not threatened by my overachiever, goal oriented work ethic.
4. Family comes first to him, especially his kids.
5. Makes time for us, shows me he's very much "into" me.
6. Calm under pressure, no nutcases, no drama majors.
7. Trustworthy, the whole integrity thing, but not a total boy scout
8. Share some interests, especially skiing and music, but not a clone. I like to experience new things.
9. Actually listens to me
10. And since I'm of an age where the "perfect" man is going to be between 45 &50, can still keep up with me in bed sans chemical help. :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Sun, 01-14-2007 - 5:59pm

Another good one. You do have a way with words - we are lucky to have so many smart and interesting women on this board.

Love the comment "sans chemical help" - I am in the same age range so I appreciate this humor!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2006
Sun, 01-14-2007 - 8:18pm

Shrimpy, your post was inspiring. Well, that and the three dating books and seven websites I've visited this weekend.

I know that the right man for me is my "Hiker"- he's exactly to me the way Hiker is to you. You just said it so much better than I could!

Moody, awed


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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Mon, 01-15-2007 - 2:56am
lol about the "chemical help"!!!! Poor guys ... why cant those poor penis' work 4-ever!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2004
Mon, 01-15-2007 - 10:44am

Thanks Moody! And to think, I met him in OLD. Just had to wade through some creeps to find him, but he was there!

All I know is that if Hiker didn't fit as well as he does, I wouldn't have been dating him for so long. I just don't have the time or energy to train up a new one. lol ;-)

And a question (hope it doesn't get BURIED- if it does, maybe I'll bring it up in a new thread)... a question for ALL the women- in relation to the "sans chemical help" stuff. So what if you find a great man, but then later on he develops ED and needs chemical help? What then? Would that change things enough that the relationship ends? And if it doesn't change things, how would that make any difference if you met someone great NOW- and he is already 'on chemicals' for erections??

I would think that it would be a GOOD thing if a man has ED and seeks help/treatment for it, rather than ignoring it or trying to pretend it's not there. Or to not care to even try fixing it.

And for me personally... the whole sex thing is important, and I wouldn't want to live without it while in a long-term relationship or marriage. That would be tough, if he had ED and the meds DON'T work. But to me, being on meds isn't necessarily a deal-breaker. I say that without having actually experiencing what it's like though- to date a man who is on meds or having trouble. I guess it's difficult to really KNOW what I'd think without living through it, but that's what I imagine I'd do.

~shrimpy

~shrimpy

"A man who wants something will find a way; a man who doesn't will find an excuse." ~Stephen Dolley Jr.

~<

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