You're not going to believe this
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| Thu, 07-13-2006 - 12:24pm |
I got another voicemail message at work yesterday from Steve (he knows I won't pick up at home). His message said that he was surprised that I had not responded to his earlier message and that he was surprised that I hadn't inquired as to how much I owe him so that I could immediately send a check because he wants his tv fixed ASAP. But, the most incredible part was when he asked if we were still going camping next weekend. Back some months ago when we were dating, I asked him if he and his son wanted to join me and my kids on a Cub Scout family camping trip, which is next weekend. Ok, now we are not together any more, and common sense would tell most people that the trip is off. Plus, he is dating someone else. Why in the world would he want to go camping with me? I told my sister last night either he is really that dense, or he is purposely messing with my mind! He really thinks he is going! God, give me strength!
I like the responses that I got to my last post. Allison, as far as the party goes, I think this party is as much for me as it is for my kids. I haven't had anyone over to my house in a long time, and I lost touch with a lot of my friends when I was in my last two relationships. I am making this party an opportunity for me to touch base with people I haven't seen in a while. It's kind of like a "coming out" party for my new "single" self. It's a lot of work, but it will be worth it. It also means a lot to my kids to have all their friends over.
Judy: All I can say to you is that it took me 8 years and a lot of therapy, but I finally get it. I finally can say that I am comfortable in my own skin, being myself and being a single mom, and that I'm ok if I'm not dating someone. Actually, I am so burned out from the last relationship, that I am very glad I am alone. I need time to refresh myself. I miss being with my friends; I'm frustrated by how I let house projects go to the wayside because I was always so wrapped up in a relationship; I miss doing my hobbies. I finally figured out that it's ok to be alone because I'm not lonely or bored or sad. Unfortunately, it took me 8 years to figure it out. And I finally figured out that just because someone asks me out, that I have the choice to say no, something I never did before. Over the last six years, I have never been alone longer then a few months before starting a new relationship. It's been almost 2 months now, so I'm improving, and I love it. I have two male friends that I go out with occasionally, so it feels like a date, but it's not, we just like getting out every once in a while.
Two weeks until party time!
Donna

Donna,
I think you should send him an email explaining you are NOT going to pay for his TV and he is not invited to the party and do not contact you again.
I think he is just hurt, as Mark said in your other thread and he needs closure. I am suggesting you do this so he won't continue to bother you.
It is just par for the course of breaking up. Maybe you should watch the movie, Break Up so you won't think this is too bad? ;-)
Sorry you have to go through this but it sounds like you are on a better track now. I do hope you keep us posted as to how your party and your house projects and your new single life go!!
Hugs!
Judy
Maybe he is smoking crack? ;-) Seriously, I agree with Judy. After you tell him not to contact you again, just delete any messages before listening to them. Block him from your email.
I hope the party goes really good and gets your mind off of things with this guy!
Stephanie
Apparently, when you have a big screen tv, you cannot cut off the power source because that will ruin the screen. I don't know, I don't have a big screen tv. Supposedly, the last time I was at Steve's house with the kids, I was typing something for him on his computer, Katie came into the room to talk to me, and according to Steve, she tripped on the power cord, thus unplugging the tv, which, ruined the screen. He says that you can't even watch the tv. I haven't seen it, so I don't know. He did tell me about the tv a long time ago, but, according to him, he never pressed the issue because we were going to be living together, and in his logic, if we were living together, I would see how bad the screen was and insist that I pay to get it fixed. And since we are not going to be living together, he believes since my daughter broke it, I should pay to get the tv fixed. What strikes me as funny is that nothing was mentioned the supposed day that it happened, nothing like, "oh no, you shut the tv off." Steve did mention it to me, but that was days later, and I thought it was funny because he never said anything to me the moment it happened. For all I know, one of his large dogs could have pulled the cord out of the wall. Who knows? He has not said how much it will cost to get it fixed because he hasn't taken it in for repair yet. I guess he's waiting for me to tell him I will pay for it. Because I know him; if I don't pay for it, it won't get fixed. What also makes no sense to me is that he has another big screen tv down in his basement that he never uses. Perhaps it's broken, but it it's not, he should move it up in his bedroom. Oh, and by the way, he has another one in his living room, which is literally 10 feet from his bedroom. Yes, he has 3 big screen tvs. I have none. Kind of hard for me to feel sorry for him. Plus, I am just so sick of him and the way he has treated me that I don't even care. I had gotten very little out of that relationship, except unhappiness, and now he wants me to pay for a tv I will never watch.
And he thinks I want to go camping with him. Maybe he is smoking crack!
Donna
He has 3 big screen TVs and lives with his father?
And you were typing something for him?
And he thinks that your daughter tripping over the cord broke the TV? I seriously doubt this and if it is that critical, what is a cord doing so exposed with kids around?
I could see a point to his claim if your daughter scribbled all over the screen with a permanent marker.
But to me with this he has no valid claim. FIRMLY tell him no and no more contact and no camping. If he persists then you should threaten restraining order.
He screams LOSER with every action at every turn. Good thing you saw all of this and got out.
He should reimburse you for gas - now that is a valid claim!! LOL!!
Judy:
I agree with you on all counts. I just want to clarify that he did not live with his father. He lives alone, but his father owns the house that he lives in. His father bought it for him. And, apparently, his father is not willing to sell the house to his son or put his name on it. Thus, making a no-win situation for me. I own my own house, and it was difficult for me to think of selling what I own to rent someone else's house. Doesn't make a whole lot of sense, and that's why I did not do it.
Hindsight is always 20/20. He was very good with my children, for the most part. And in the beginning, he made me a lot of promises, promises that most single moms would not turn down. HOwever, he never came through on any of them, and that's when I began to realize he was never going to and that he would not change. Even after I told him we were through, he made all the promises again, but I knew they were empty. If he hadn't done them in 8 months, he wasn't going to do them at all. That's when I ended it.
Donna
If you can't cut the power source to a big screen TV, what happens if you have an unexpected power failure? Are you just SOL? Sounds like a huge load of BS to me! Besides, if he had mentioned this when it happened, it MIGHT be worth discussing. What kind of idiot would leave a cord out for someone to trip over if it might ruin his big screen TV?
I am so glad you dumped him. What a freakin' loser!
Stephanie
OH - good point about the power outage!!
And Donna, you made a good call about the empty promises. This is WHY we take the time to date and get to know someone - so we can see how they walk in addition to how they talk!
I am sorry you have had such drama in the relationship department, Donna, you are a super sweet person and mom and I have always enjoyed reading your posts and have learned from you. I know that in time you will meet the right one. Keep us posted! Enjoy singledom for now - there is absolutely nothing wrong with it!
If he didn't press the issue then, then it wasn't a big deal to him.