You've been lookin' for love all around

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2006
You've been lookin' for love all around
12
Sat, 01-27-2007 - 11:19pm

the world, baby don't you know this country girl's still free? Why not me? Why not me on a rainy day, why not me to love your cares away? Why not me?...

Here's the story. I signed up for OLD a few months ago (maybe 2) and haven't seen or been contacted by anyone that I'm really into meeting. Most of them were too far away, a few were just not my type. I have pretty liberal standards as far as what I'm willing to consider- but the guy has to meet a few very specific criteria or I won't even contact him back. The site I use (match) does this comparison side-by-side, and if we don't match each other's desired age range, children that we already have (they have to be okay with me having them, and I don't care if they HAVE children), and whether or not we want children (I KNOW I don't want any more kids. Someone who knows he does isn't the right guy for me.) These three things are pretty set in stone for me- then I weed out from there.

So, about a week ago, this guy who lives actually very near me (the next town over, less than 20 miles away, which is CLOSE considering how far away most people are) winked at me. He's 41, has one daughter, doens't want anymore, and looking for women between 35-45. So, I didn't contact him back, since I can't jump a decade to fit into his desired age range. I actually said NEXT out loud as I deleted him.

Then, tonight I get a message from him. I respond, we end up IMing for quite a while. Since that's going well, I end up giving him my number. About 25 minutes into the conversation, it comes to light that he GREW UP with my best friend. We had both said the other looked familiar, and chances are she's actually casually introduced us out somewhere, and we never thought twice about it.

The conversation turned to other people we knew in common, and the likelihood that we know so many of the same people and haven't actually met or at least crossed paths is pretty slim. But the fact that he knows my best friend very well, and her husband, makes me laugh. I mean, she knows we're both looking to date- and simply never thought of introducing us- or there's a reason why she thinks we wouldn't be compatible. (Yet she introduced me to her ex-husband- HA!) It's very bizarre, and while I'm thinking I'll tell her about the whole situation, I'm not going to put too much emphasis on what she says- unless of course it's horrible!

And I so far like what I know about him. He's 41, has a good job, has his 9 year old daughter part time, we have a few of the same hobbies, obviously know a few of the same people... the conversation was not awkward, even before we knew we had a mutual friend. It flowed, we talked about our children, work, our lives, he asked all the right questions.

We discussed meeting sometime this week. Tomorrow would be good, except I think I have kid stuff going on, and won't know until late morning, so we'll see about a cup of coffee or something later in the week. I'll certainly keep you all posted!

Moody, who has decided it is, indeed, a small world


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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
That so cool!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
What a small world we live in! You will have to keep us posted on this one. I know with OLD that communicating by email/phone is one thing. But in person is a whole different dimension.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2006

R, I just got off the phone with my girlfriend. She's all for us meeting and potentially dating. In fact, she said she wholeheartedly gave her blessing, and thought we'd be extremely compatible for a number of reasons.
Nothing like alittle pressure! No, just kidding, she knows my type, and she knows me very well- sometimes better than I know myself, I think.

Moody, humming the "it's a small world" parody from Shrek


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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-2006
Sun, 01-28-2007 - 10:28pm

I was thrilled when I found out my 1st OLD (Mr. 4:15) is friends with an aquaintance of mine. I am still seeing him, and it gets better and better--a lot because I felt safer--I already knew one of his friends--and that was a criteria for inviting him to my house.

I think it's great to have these people in common. Just have fun with it!

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2004
Sun, 01-28-2007 - 11:20pm

Oh isn't that totally interesting!!! What a crazy story! I hope it develops more- just because it sounds like it SHOULD! ;-)

It **is** a small world sometimes!

~shrimpy

~shrimpy

"A man who wants something will find a way; a man who doesn't will find an excuse." ~Stephen Dolley Jr.

~<

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-20-2003

Hi Moody,

What a small world indeed. It's cool that your friend gave you the thumbs-up! It's always nice when our friends like our men.

This does sound like fate stepping in here. Like Judy said though, real-life meets can sometimes be disappointing. But what a cute story it would be... :o)

Dare I ask what is the latest on the Double D adventure?

Looking forward to updates on both these stories.

Clem xx

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2006

Clem, Double D hasn't mentioned another date, and we've seen each other fairly regularly. He has my number. I also think, as much as going slow is a good thing, the lack of kiss on the third date kind of threw me off. While he doesn't treat me like "one of the boys", he also isn't really acting like he's totally into me. Maybe he is, but if so, it's time to step up to the plate- or a pinch hitter will be put in!

In fact, I saw Double D Saturday at work, we were walking completely alone and talking- but about skiing. Not about going skiing together, or doing anything together for that matter, but about the resort I go to, how many trails it has, that sort of thing. When I got to my car, he said, "Well, have a good weekend, see you Monday." One friend of mine thinks he's nervous since he does really like me and it's making him shy. I'm at the point where I don't really care what the reasons are- I'm not going to allow him to make me crazy by second guessing everything.

Now, for OLD-guy, we're meeting Friday. I think we're going to go to dinner, we sort of left it up in the air. He called last night, while I was on the phone with the friend who knows him, actually. I let it go to voicemail and called him back when I was done with some homework. He asked if our mutual friend had talked to me, but the whole conversation didn't revolve around her, which was a good thing. He then asked if I'd like to meet, and since he's working out of town early this week and I have school and the kids, Friday was the best day for both of us. We chatted for a bit, discussed a few options on where to eat, but didn't make any definite plans.

When we were getting ready to hang up, he said he'd call me tomorrow and that he was looking forward to meeting me Friday. I'm looking forward to meeting him, too, something I haven't felt since Double D- and especially not about someone from OLD.

So far, OLD-guy makes me laugh. The conversation flows smoothly, which is good- those first few phone conversations can sometimes be super awkward. We'll see how Friday goes, and trust me, I'll keep you all updated if there are any more developments!

Moody, learning to juggle


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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-20-2003
Mon, 01-29-2007 - 10:55am

Hmmm, either Double D just isn't that into you, or he thinks you're not that into him, and is nervy about asking you out again. After all, if I remember correctly, you didn't pick up on his earlier comment about wishing you could have made it skiing on the Friday... and maybe he saw that as a blow-off. Time will tell.

How exciting to have a juggling act to perform! You can be sure that if your date with OLD guy goes well and you're into each other, then Double D will suddenly come up all keen again, and you'll have a choice to make! It's always the way isn't it. As soon as I met Monkey, three or four men I'd been hoping to have another date with, but had never materialised, suddenly came out of the woodwork desperate to meet up with me! LOL.

Darnit - it's AAAAGES til your date with OLD guy... I'm going to explode from the suspense until then!

Enjoy!!! And thanks for the update :o)

Clem xx

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-25-2007
Mon, 01-29-2007 - 11:16am
Wow I think it is a wonderful story and I hope it works out!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Mon, 01-29-2007 - 12:36pm

I agree with missclemmy. I think that DoubleD will make it known if and when he is ready to date you more. But in the mean time you cannot be sitting around pining for his call. And this sounds like a fun prospect.

And of course we just love stories!

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