Age difference and dating...

Avatar for roxanne2020
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-03-2003
Age difference and dating...
Wed, 08-04-2010 - 12:41am

What do you think of older women with younger men??

I met a guy a couple weeks a 21 and up spot, I'm 27 so I didn't think much of it when he asked me to dance, exchanged numbers, went on a date the next day...which turned out into a date the next 3 days as well.....we must have either been really intrigued or he never brought it up knowing that he's younger....but I just found out he's 20 a couple days ago. And I'm torn now!

At first I thought no matter what he'd be 21 so I said ok a little younger than I go for but he's cute, we're both in college, we're both working, independent, he pays for the dates (last guys I've dated my age have no education passed hs and don't have much money to just go out for fast food or a movie)...and the times we've spent have been a lot of fun...but now I'm thinking BUT he's 20!!!!!

I just don't know, I really like him, and if he'd be 27 and I'd be 20 this would be fine right?? Uh!!!! Advice?????


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Registered: 04-10-2010
Wed, 08-04-2010 - 3:04am



iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-2008
Wed, 08-04-2010 - 7:58am

I tend to disagree with the previous poster.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2009
Wed, 08-04-2010 - 10:04am

I don't think I agree with itshightime. The "women outlive men" argument doesn't make sense for 20-somethings, they're not exactly approaching their life expectancy. At that point 7 years would make no difference whatsoever, but for a 20 year old male and a 27 year old female, the gap in maturity and life stage can be enormous.

However, it really doesn't have to destroy a relationship because it really is up to the individuals involved whether or not it's a good match. It may actually be. I have two friends that are about 6 years apart, dating 3 years (he's 24, she's 30) and they are getting married next year.

What matters is what you have in common. If you get along well and are equals mentally, and want similar things from your lives, then age really is just a number. I don't think that by itself it's a good reason to break it off.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-24-2009
Wed, 08-04-2010 - 10:24am
I met my husband when I was 21 and he was 31..we got married at 24/34.....we have been married for almost 15 years this september.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-01-2006
Wed, 08-04-2010 - 10:43am
Are you just dating, as in seeing other people? Personally, I see nothing wrong with it. You're both adults and as long as you get along, enjoy each other, treat each other with respect, nothing wrong with that. I guess it all depends, too, on what exactly you're looking for in the "relationship". You need to also discuss that with him.

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Registered: 06-22-2006
Wed, 08-04-2010 - 12:15pm

So you went for him thinking he's at least 21 but are now concerned because he's "only 20."

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Avatar for rainita2000
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Registered: 03-25-2003
Fri, 08-06-2010 - 12:49pm

Do u consider a huge gap if the woman is 39 yrs old and the guy between 25 and 30? Or what it matters if the chemistry, if they get along , the maturity, attraction??