all in the PET scans?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2003
all in the PET scans?
Thu, 10-02-2003 - 8:58pm
Hi everyone,

I don't post often here but sometimes lurk around. Thught some of you might be interested in this theory.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 10-03-2003 - 3:05am
Title: I have always maintained...

...that there were some very strong differences between men and women, and unlike the general female sentiment (which this article alludes to), it isn't just a case of men being "lazy women", that is not WANTING to see things or feel things the way women do.

I have also always maintained on this board that men are FAR more tolerate of the differences between women and men than women are. Indeed, somewhere on this very board right now it was posted that "men are just animals...they don't have emotions". I started to respond by making mention of the emotions I felt when I married my wife, and when my son was born, and what I feel and go through everyday worrying about the both of them, but I decided to not bother because anyone who would say something like that obviously has deep issues that have taken them to that "place".

I think a lot of the differences between men and women could be cleared up (from the female perspective anyway) if women simply stopped thinking of men as women with penises, and instead listened to what we say. Of course, then they would stop being women, wouldn't

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Fri, 10-03-2003 - 6:13pm
Hi Gogo!

Agreed. But I hope you'll admit that you may be a teensy bit more expressive about your emotions than the average male and can express your perspective a bit more clearly? This is why many women seek your opinion on this board - since you're a pretty normal guy but have an uncanny ability to explain what you/males are thinking and why. And I don't think anybody would accuse you of being a woman with a penis.

And I'm not disagreeing with the original post and I'm not agreeing with whoever said the 'animal' post. Just a friendly discussion :-)


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 10-03-2003 - 6:20pm
Title: Hey you!! LTNS....

How are things???

The M-R-S told me that you were facing a pretty major decision, but I haven't heard anything since on that....whats the story?

Also...did I understand correctly somehow that you've been at less than your best in recent days? Hope you are better...

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 10-03-2003 - 6:42pm

Hmm...I haven't really seen that men are more tolerant of women being women than vice versa, but that's kind of neither here nor there.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 10-03-2003 - 7:41pm
Title: See...this sort of speaks to my point...

**"I think a good relationship is one where he can say, "I really need to veg for a bit at the end of the day" and she says, "I understand. I need to be able to talk to you about my day, but I will wait until you've had an hour to unwind"**

Without disagreeing TOTALLY with the notion that this is an example of what would make for a good relationship, this is also an example of what I mean when I say women expect men to to change to their liking.

He doesn't want to talk. This requires no action on her part.

She WANTS to talk to him, and this requires he participate.

Why can't she just go talk to a GF about her day, and thus kill two birds with one stone?

Again it is a perfect example of the female mindset..."why can't you be more like me?". What makes you think he is going to be more aminable to talking an hour from now?

(Again, I am making a point for arguements sake. I would agree that two people should be able to have a conversation)

He says "I don't want to talk". She says "I want to talk". He isn't stopping he from talking... all she has to do is find someone who wants to talk to her. She however, is stopping him from "not talking".

Truth is though, this isn't the best example. A better one would be the classic "Why don't you talk to me". This is the one that drives me nuts. I mean, it is one thing to ask me to listen...fair enough. To me, that is part of my job, if I care about you, is to care about the things that are important to you that you want to share.

But...if I am not interested in doing the same thing..."sharing"...then why does that make me (representing all men) the bad guy??

"He won't talk to me...he won't talk to me...waaaaaa..."

If it were as simple as I come home, I'm given an hour to unwind, then I put in an hour listening to my SigO, I think most men could live with that.

But it doesn't go that way, does it? It goes more like...

"Ok...I'm rested now. What would you like to talk about"

"Oh nothing in particular. How was your day?"

"It was ok. How was yours?"

"Fine. Yours was just ok?"

"Yes, just ok."

"Why just ok?"

"I thought you wanted to talk about your day?"

"Way can't we talk about your day?"

"Because I don't want to talk about my day, and besides, you said you wanted to talk about yours".

"I just want to talk about anything. We never talk."

"Fine. Whatr do you want to talk about?"

"I dunno."

"I dunno either, but I didn't say I wanted to talk.."

..and repeat. And the poor bastard catches hell because he hasn't figured out how to talk about "I dunno" as a topic, which she doesn't understand since her girlfrieds do it so well.

And you ladies wonder why we rather stare at the TV that go through this torture EVERY NIGHT?

Edited 10/3/2003 8:39:42 PM ET by gogobear

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 10-03-2003 - 8:09pm

Because talking to a gf about your day isn't the same about talking to your partner.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 10-03-2003 - 9:41pm
"Because talking to a gf about your day isn't the same about talking to your partner. You don't create intimacy with your partner by talking to a friend!"

If one person wants it, and it merely annoys the other person to no end, is it really creating intimacy? I assumed both would have to like something (or at least not resent it) for that to be accomplished.


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sat, 10-04-2003 - 3:50am
I'm great, thanks! In less than 2 short weeks, if all goes well, I'll be Sally Brown, PhD. So I haven't had much time to eat or sleep these past few months, let alone browse into UOS, unfortunately.

Big decisions? Moving, I guess you mean. I think we're going to try to stay here, but that all depends on me getting a job after the new year. After 2 weeks, I'll put all my energy into job-hunting. I guess you're experienced in that area, eh? (practicing my Canadian JIC, eh?).

How are you?