Am I misreading the meanings?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2008
Am I misreading the meanings?
15
Wed, 08-18-2010 - 11:33am

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-10-2010
Wed, 08-18-2010 - 1:31pm

I don't know if what he says has any merit, that you've always been insecure.


However, from what you've posted there has been a

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-25-2010
Wed, 08-18-2010 - 3:38pm

Anal sex without lube!!!??? OUCH!!!!
No wonder!

testosterone therapy is for men with low counts, Yes he will want sex more. He will also feel better with more energy.

>>>>>He says that he is 75% happy with our marriage and that the other 25% of unhappiness is when I go through that one week a month where I have doubts about his dedication to me. <<<<<
This will hurt him and that maybe a sore point. Does that week of doubt coincide with your period? Have you talked with your physician?
If this is something that has started 4 months ago. What happened 4 months ago?
The other things sound like he is taking stock of his life. Many people do and look back and see that they would have done differently or that there is a drive for new experiences.
He may just need new adventures al la go Viking.
He just might have a warrior heart that has been sublimated all these years.




Edited 8/18/2010 3:39 pm ET by xxxs
xvx Pictures, Images and Photos


iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2008
Wed, 08-18-2010 - 4:10pm
Actually, he was using the lube at the time this happened, but he said I was getting dry. He did it the normal way first, but then started to go into forbidden territory. I didn't really say anything which was stupid on my part, until he tried to just push and it instantly hurt. It always hurts no matter how much lube is used.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2008
Wed, 08-18-2010 - 4:25pm

When my husband goes to the bar, it is just one particular bar that has the imported German beer that he likes. I guess he likes the taste and it reminds him of when he was in the military and stationed in Germany before he was sent over to Iraq during Desert Storm.


Sometimes, he goes there alone, and sometimes, his buddies meet him, but it is either one or the other. I know they are real because I have met both of them and he gets with them at least once a week.


The waitresses at the bar he seems to know really well. He knows some things about their personal lives. One of them wears one bottle of perfume and then goes onto a different bottle. I know this because he bought me some perfume once and when I asked him what made him choose it, he said that the waitress at the bar was wearing it and he liked it and asked what it was and bought it for me.


He has taken me to the bar there before because there was a car show outside and pointed out all of the waitresses and told me what he knew about them, and I didn't see anything or feel anything suspicious when I was there.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2008
Wed, 08-18-2010 - 5:15pm
This all sounds to me like he is reevaluating his life and really doesn't want to be married anymore. The sudden wanting to hang out at the bars with his friends, the cozy familiarity with the waitress, him complaining about being bored with your sex life etc. None of this sounds good to me. Sounds like he is getting very restless in the marriage to me.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2007
Wed, 08-18-2010 - 6:27pm

This does not look good at all.....hormones or not.

Denise

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2008
Wed, 08-18-2010 - 6:33pm
He is going to be 44 this year, and I am going to be 40.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2007
Wed, 08-18-2010 - 6:44pm

Hello - does

Denise

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-10-2010
Wed, 08-18-2010 - 7:23pm

I hope this isn't stirring up suspicion where it's not warranted, but I don't like that "buying you the same perfume as the bartender" thing. First, something is seriously off in this marriage when he's spending his evenings getting close to the female bartenders while you, his wife, are spending your evenings home alone.


Also, to remember it enough to buy it sounds like it has sexual

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-14-2007
Thu, 08-19-2010 - 1:40am

Hi there,


Being alert is a good thing but always seeing the glass half full it’s if you want your marriage to work.


A lot of the situations you have described here just sound normal to me after being with someone for 13 yrs... Complacency and routine does kick in...And let’s face it...these hurdles are not overcome by themselves...they need the will and also the effort of communication and trust.


Open the lines of communication but don’t be antagonistic or suspicious in your approach. If he deems your efforts as “questioning” or “argumentative” rather than “communicating” he is most likely to shut down and resent any effort to make the situation better.


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