Anxiety about long distance relationship

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-12-2007
Anxiety about long distance relationship
1
Wed, 04-09-2014 - 10:38pm

 of this, but I think the fact that I do is evidence of how deeply I care about him.Deleted 

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Thu, 04-10-2014 - 11:47am

It is really not good to start worrying and assume the worst.  You're attitde also shows a big lack of self esteem--why is that?  You are obviously smart enough to get a dream job, so you're an accomplished woman.  why do you think that you would not be worth it to ask someone to move?  You should value yourself enough to assume that if someone loves you, then it would be worth it to move to be with you.  You already said that he has a job that's portable (and even working from home seems possible) and you are the one with the hard to find job.  It's only 2 hours away--it's not like you are asking to move from coast to coast.  You could even split the distance and each have a one hour commute--it's not ideal but I have a friend right now who commutes more than an hour each way to work--a lot of people do that esp. if they don't have to go to work 5 days a week--I mean now most people can do some of their job from remote locations on their computer.  You live in a city that's 300,000--that's not exactly hick town USA.  I'm sure there are plenty of things to do.  You are just worrying way too much in advance and you have only been officially dating a few months.  Why didn't I think of this before?  My 1st DH & I started dating right after I graduated from law school and then right after that I got a job 1.5 hours away from where he lived.  So for 2 yrs until we got married we only saw each other on weekends--and half of that time, I was still living with my parents.  He had been living with his parents too but I said that he really needed to get an apt. because there were just too many people in his house and his parents never even left the house and drove me crazy.  At least I didn't have other siblings at home and my parents had their own things to do--in those days, there was no chance of living together before marriage.  So it defintiely can work out.  When we got married, we movied to a place in the middle and I wanted to go back and get a job in the larger city so I did change jobs and then we moved closer to that city.  So if it's meant to be, it will work out.