Been seeing a guy for 6+ weeks...

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2004
Been seeing a guy for 6+ weeks...
42
Sun, 02-28-2010 - 2:55am

Haven't really heard much from him the last week (and we saw each other once, but mostly twice a week) and i accused him of not wanting to see me anymore, rejecting me but not having the guts to tell me. He texted back 2 hours later that I am wrong and he is still interested in seeing me. I told him that if he has time to scratch his butt then he should have time to call/txt me. He basically told me he has no time to scratch his butt at all as he's been leaving the operating room (he's a chief resident of surgery on his last months) past midnight and then having to come back to the hospital at 6am. (His texts are always 2 hours or so apart.. in between surgeries)

I told him life is too short to make excuses. LOL. I do get he is busy but I am miffed of the lack of contact. If he likes me, he would even just wanna say hi, right?

He said he is not rejecting me by not calling. Told me he will touch base with me at the end of the week. Just FYI, ever since I've known him, he never calls or texts me just to chit chat. It's always to make plans.. usually he would ask on a Monday (if I saw him Friday or Saturday) for my schedule the whole week.

My gut is telling me to be more patient but everyone else around me is saying to watch He's Just Not Into You.. YES, I've seen that movie! LOL.

He assures me that he still wants to see me and I'm glad but so far, he hasn't really made any effort. Last time I talked to him was Wednesday night and he said he will talk to me later at the end of the week.. but so far.. nothing. I'm definitely not going to chase him but I wish I know what's up.

What to do? I really like this guy.. we are not exclusive (something we have not discussed) and I am dating other people.. but he's all I could think about. And while I do believe him that he is busy and I am trying to wait patiently for him...I am getting insecure. LOL




Edited 2/28/2010 3:00 am ET by michiru2004

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2004
Sun, 02-28-2010 - 7:30am

Wow, if there's a way to lose a guy real quick, you found it.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2007
Sun, 02-28-2010 - 7:47am

Man I soooo glad I was young back in the day. In the hospital we had one phone for the residents. We would take each others calls and post them on a board. One friend of mine was dating three girls ,all named Lisa! One day he just coming out of the treatment room and I say, "Steve, Lisa is on the phone." he goes,"Which one?"


He right, he doesn't have time to scratch his butt, let alone text you all the time. I once worked a 72 hour shift, straight through and almost fell asleep on a patient, He really doesn't have the time. :). He doesn't have time to chit- chat. I called my wife ( she wasn't my wife at the time, just GF, when I was in my specialty residency) ONCE A WEEK. All I had time for was work, eating, an occasional shower and some sleep every third day!!!!


If he likes you you sure are not making it easy. Already calling him out on what YOU perceive as a lack of attention. The guy is in his surgical residency! He probably doesn't have time to pee let alone text you. Second, there is nothing more unattractive then someone who is NEEDY. If he has a brain he will stop all together. You are already nagging him like his Mother and after only knowing him 6 weeks?


If you like this guy stop all the unnecessary drama and nagging. If we need to go on a Guilt Trip that is what our Mothers are for. No guy wants to date his Mother! You're not chasing him, YOUR NAGGING him. No wonder he doesn't a call or text back. The other people around you must not be Dr's. They have no idea what he is going through. You want to date a surgical resident then you have to be able to live without the constant contact. HE DOESN'T HAVE THE TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


It amazes me how little women know about men. You think telling a guy in a high pressure long hour job that he is not contacting you enough is going to make you look attractive? Put the shoe on the other foot. What if he said that to you? You would run for the hills. A needy clingy man! UGH :(

 
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2009
Sun, 02-28-2010 - 9:06am

Wow. What is with you? You want me to set you up with my account representative from Verizon so you can text one another all day long?

If you don't like what he's doing then find a man who doesn't have a busy job.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2004
Sun, 02-28-2010 - 9:17am

Actually, we both have verizon and an unlimited plan. LOL.

I like what he's doing and I respect that he is a doctor but he can't text me once in a while? And I have seen him log on to facebook to greet his friends happy birthday and do other things. He can say hi to me too.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2009
Sun, 02-28-2010 - 9:38am

6 weeks is too early to be texting back and forth. Texting is the worst thing about the early stages of dating, it's the least reliable and least effort form of communication and here you are using it to gauge a man's interest in you. That's a big mistake.

If it was your birthday then I'm sure he'd wish you a happy birthday, as it stands, he doesn't know you well enough to be texting you idle chitchat. He probably wants to get to know you face-to-face.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2004
Sun, 02-28-2010 - 9:44am

We've been dating 6 weeks but we met last July of 2009. He tried dating me then but I wasn't over my ex bf yet. This is take 2. We've only been dating 6 weeks but it seems much much longer.

I haven't seen him since Valentine's day.. that's already a full 2 weeks. The only time we talked since then is when I initiated.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2004
Sun, 02-28-2010 - 10:05am

It might seem like you're dating much, much longer but you're not.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-17-2010
Sun, 02-28-2010 - 3:12pm
She also said (on another board, I think) that he's CHIEF resident, which is double the work. My brother is chief resident, and I never hear from him--and I'm family!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2007
Sun, 02-28-2010 - 3:40pm

He is the CHIEF resident? Then he has LESS than no time!


I was once in the resident room trying to get some sleep. The chief resident came in and just as he got onto one of the cots his beeper went off. He took it and threw it across the room smashing it on the wall and he just rolled over and passed out. I got up and took the call :).


And she wants him to text all the time. If he has a brain he will delete her from his contacts. You date or marry a Dr. you have to understand the job comes first!

 
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2004
Sun, 02-28-2010 - 6:34pm

When in my post did I say I want him to text me ALL the time? Like I said, haven't heard from him in 2 weeks... he can't text me once in 2 weeks????

I'm a registered nurse and i am also a graduate student.. I know how it is to be busy... and yes, I know he is busier than me... my dad is a doctor.. my brother in law and my sister are also doctors but they have time for their significant others.

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