Can I Get A Guy's Opinion Here?!

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-11-2005
Can I Get A Guy's Opinion Here?!
Wed, 03-24-2010 - 12:09am

A few weeks ago I went on the most incredible date with this guy who I have liked for a while. We knew each other in high school as well as in college (until he transferred out). He wound up joining the Marine Corps, fighting overseas and then coming back to finish up his college. We found each other on Facebook, chatted for a few hours and agreed that when he was back up in the hometown to get together. We exchanged phone numbers, the whole lot.

The day of the date I was excited as was he (I could tell!). We had fun bowling, we had a few drinks. We were so comfortable with each other, laughing and having a great time. We had so much in common from childhoods to favorite TV shows. We then went to dinner, where he insisted we have a few more drinks and then have dinner. He reached across the table, held my hands and insisted on paying for dinner. I was okay with that and enjoyed holding his hands. After dinner we went to the local casino boat and walked around, played a few bets, had more drinks. I think his drink of Red Bull & Vodka was making him too energetic as well as nervous.

We had sat down and was just chit chatting and he just kept staring into my eyes, holding my hands, getting closer to me and I was enjoying it. We get done with that and he walks me out to my car. By this time, we had been on the date for almost 12 hours!!! I was excited, but then he opened his mouth and said: "You have beautiful eyes, gorgeous lips, you're beautiful/gorgeous. I get lost looking in your eyes". Which is something that I've heard in romantic comedies and thought it was a bit cheesy. I guess my reaction to it was not what he had hoped for. I thanked him ever so graciously and told him that no guy has ever said those nice things about me to me. He was floored at how that has never happened. He kept saying "Are you kidding me?!" I kept repeating. I know that guys can hold their liquor but he was I think a bit too hyped up from the Red Bull and nervous. Right? We did kiss, not too long but not short.

He's liked me ever since high school, he had wished that he had asked me out then and while we were at the same college. He's had a major crush on me for quite a few years, but he never had the courage to tell me until now. He would visit me at work whenever he was up in the area at the time, during college breaks, etc. I really like him and I know he really likes me, but here's where I am a bit confused. I'm sorry that this is soo long, but guys bear with me, please.

We part that night after it being awkward. We both agreed to date and that whenever we each had free weekends, I would go visit him since he came up here (3 hours away). When I woke up later that day/morning, I texted him and thanked him for a wonderful date and to have a safe trip home. 5 DAYS LATER, after 3 texts and an email apologizing for my weird behavior to his compliments, I get a voicemail. He lost his phone for 4 days and isn't mad or upset at me and wants to date. I have texted him a few more times and the other day, left a voicemail saying hey, hope he's doing okay, blah blah blah---and NOTHING!

So please guys, don't be too harsh at me, but can you explain his behavior? My sister says that all he wanted was to get into my pants. He would have tried but would not have succeeded because I am still a virgin waiting till marriage. Yes, I am 25 years old and want to wait, what's wrong with that? I just don't understand why, if he liked me soo much in high school, college and after overseas trip, he would ignore me like that. Please, please can I get a guy's opinion on this?!

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-04-2006
Wed, 03-24-2010 - 1:19am

I'm not a guy, but that's really weird. I just cannot see why you would spend 12 hours on a date with someone, and say all those nice things, if you really weren't interested!

Also, I didn't interpret what he said to you as "trying to get into your pants". I would think if all he wanted was sex, he would have known you are not the person to try it with.

Especially becauase you've known each other, even if as acquaintances, for so long!!

I mean, I guess I don't know. I do know that some marines can be a bit - well - cocky. Is he a player type? Is he like that at all?

Maybe he's just really really busy with training and can really only talk and communicate with you on the weekends? Maybe you calling and texting him so much freaked him out a bit? I know if I didn't have access to my phone for four days, and turned it on seeing four or five texts from someone I had JUST got re-acquainted with, it might make me feel slightly weird. I'm not trying to make you feel bad, just trying to think of reasons for his lack of contact.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-22-2006
Fri, 03-26-2010 - 2:09pm

I'm kinda with blueorchid on this in that if I had lost my phone for four days and when I did find it and turn it on, there was an excess (yes, excess) of texts (possibly increasingly anxious?) and then the email apologizing for weird behavior on the date (be honest, was that your last resort after all your texts went unanswered?), I might back off a teeny bit.

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