cant figure him out?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-22-2009
cant figure him out?
Mon, 03-22-2010 - 5:16pm

so ive been kinda seeing this guy for a month now, i have been going and staying at his house like everyother night, he calls and texts me all the time wanting to do something with me. he has asked me what i wanted and i told him that i really like him and wanted to be with him and he said ok we will see how it goes.

well in the past month he has told me he really likes me alot and he has even mentioned getting a place together and he wanted me to meet his daughter and stuff. so i thought he wanted a relastionship. well saturday i went out to the bar with my cousin and i texted him telling him where i was going and he sounded like he was mad. so on sunday he texted me saying hes to old for games and hes not a party person like he used to be so i was free to go.

and than he told me to go have all the fun i wanted with my freinds cause that i am not ready for a relastionship and he guesses hes not either and i am still young and dont no what i want but that we still could be freinds and hang out. so im just really confused right now i thought he really liked me. so i asked him if he even liked me or just as a freind and he said he likes me and im a cool girl and he liked me alot at first. so what am i supossed to think now cause i really like him alot?

hes been texting me today asking me to come hang out with him and he texted me last night telling me to have a good night freind if thats what i wanted to be and that he dosent no what i want in a relationship, so what am i sopposed to say to that? hes just confusing me more and more everyday, and if he just wants to be friends why didnt he say that sooner. any advice would be good

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2004
Mon, 03-22-2010 - 8:12pm

You're dating only a month, it's

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2010
Tue, 03-23-2010 - 12:46pm
At a month of being together, things could fall apart any time on either end because you're really still barely getting to know eachother, but from what you said it sounded like the trouble started when you went out to a bar without him. Do you think he's saying he thinks you're too much of a "party girl" for him? If he did want to move fast with the settling down together bit (not a good idea in my opinion either, I agree with Tish on that) then perhaps he took that as a sign that you weren't ready for it. For example neither my husband or I would go hang out in a bar with a friend. I don't remember ever even discussing it with him but it just stopped on both sides after we got serious with eachother. I guess we just think of it as what "single people" do. Just a thought.

Edited 3/23/2010 12:50 pm ET by newyearpub
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-01-2007
Tue, 03-23-2010 - 1:47pm

Sounds like things moved a little fast...

I'm not sure why he should have a problem with you going and hanging out with other friends (including your family, jeez), although it sounds like you guys jumped right into relationship mode, so his expectations are outpacing the reality of the relationship.

I guess the only thing you can do is talk to him about it, explain that you don't want to just be friends, but things are moving a little fast for you. If you want to just date, that is fine, but recognize that he may want more than that. If he continues with the passive-aggressive behavior, then, well, it's up to you how much you want to entertain that drama in your life.