co dependent man -- cut off?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-28-2004
co dependent man -- cut off?
12
Wed, 05-03-2006 - 4:18pm
I have to end a relationship. This man is very co dependent. I do not wish to have that kind of relationship with him. Its killing me, I am sick, I can not sleep. My stomache is hurting again. My blood pressure is so down I am stresses. Why cant he take no for an answer. I have had 29 calls from him today alone. Now he gets verbally abusive I have not answered one of his calls today. I hate this. I am trying to get papers together as quickly as I can so he will know its over but I can not take this. What else can I do?

Pages

Avatar for cl_littlemascara
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2003
Wed, 05-03-2006 - 4:47pm
Keep ignoring his calls and avoid an in person encounter with him, don't let his verbal abuse turn physical.


iVillage Member
Registered: 01-28-2004
Wed, 05-03-2006 - 4:55pm
Thanks. I will keep up what I am doing.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-14-2002
Thu, 05-04-2006 - 1:26am

Get his number blocked from your phone, and have all other calls go to voice mail before you answer. Change your locks. Have someone walk you to your car when you leave work, and if possible, call a neighbor to meet you at your door when you arrive home.

Get a restraining order, if you must go that far. But start documenting NOW the ways he's harassing you in case you need it. Call your local PD and ask them what else you can, or should do, to protect yourself and stop this harassment.

Pamper yourself like you've never done before. Get your hair and nails done. Buy a new outfit. Spend a day at a spa. Exercise LOTS and stay away from junk food - eat healthy foods instead. Spend lots of time in activities that make you feel good. Spend time with friends, family, pets, children. Keep yourself busy busy busy, so you won't have time to think about him.

And stick to your guns. Don't give this man a single INCH, or he'll take a mile.

Good luck, hon. You can get through this... stay safe.

Msfit

                  &nbs

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-13-2005
Thu, 05-04-2006 - 10:59am
Great advice from the other two - but I have a question - you said you have to "get papers together as quickly as I can so he will know its over" - are you married, and this is a divorce?
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-28-2004
Thu, 05-04-2006 - 11:56am
we were married for five months..... and anullment is more like what the papers are. but the money issue comes into play. we have been seperated for four years... and went seperate ways after five months of marriage. It takes a while for an anullment to go through with special reasons.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-13-2005
Thu, 05-04-2006 - 12:46pm
So, why is it NOW he is calling and calling and upset. Even though you went your separate ways four years ago, have you been "seeing him" during that time?
Sorry, I'm a little confused....
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-28-2004
Thu, 05-04-2006 - 2:23pm
Everytime he showed up I refused to even speak with him. Its just recently now its gotten stranger. The one time I spoke with him was to let him know that I had scraped up the money to finish this and its over. maybe he realized its actually over and is afraid to move on.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-13-2005
Thu, 05-04-2006 - 2:56pm

I'm pretty sure that would be it.


I'd say one of two thing would happen - one, he will not relent, and you might really end up ahving to get a restraining order (which, BTW, might not be a bad thing to threaten, as the mere threat of something like that freaks people out), or, you actually DO sit down somewhere and talk and explain things and he does relent. And I know, you've probably tried that one already, huh? LOL!

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-28-2004
Thu, 05-04-2006 - 3:21pm
Hey you know what I have sat down with him. I have told him. He did not listen well but hey. I have gone to the extreme of leaving him a note explaining all of it. He says yes I will sign your papers just bring them. I am still a little worried about that but hey since I finally am able to scrape up the money and do this I do not want to put it off anymore. four years is a long time. Paying things off take some time. and being single is hard with a child. So....... Yes I will sit back down with him once I have papers in hand. Just for the signature of course in a public place. then if it does not work then I will get extreme papers. I have them already filled out just have to go file those. So I am prepaired. Thanks
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-13-2005
Thu, 05-04-2006 - 3:34pm
Well, good luck, and let us know how it goes!

Pages