confused

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-03-2010
confused
12
Tue, 08-03-2010 - 6:18am

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-03-2010
In reply to: hahadou
Wed, 08-04-2010 - 8:34pm

I also heard that if sb really loves another one, he would prefer her to lead hard time with him together rather than let her go to live with a rich guy.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-03-2010
In reply to: hahadou
Wed, 08-04-2010 - 8:20pm

I am 100% sure the next levle he mentioned means marriage.


we had deep feeling on each other, and he want me to be good and happy. I dont know why he does not want to bulid a family with me. Nodoy is perfect, no matter outside and inside, I believe one reason he may consider is his financial condition. yet I dont know whether there are other reasons.


ys, marriage is not just romantic thing, it is more reality, cz it is not cheap. Yet I heard and saw real cases that some marrige couples were not rich, while after marriage, they work hard together to make their life better.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-01-2006
In reply to: hahadou
Wed, 08-04-2010 - 1:20pm
From the sounds of her post I took it to mean that she broke up with him because he felt he couldn't take it to the next level, which she is assuming he means marriage. Personally, I think she should have asked him point blank exactly what he was getting at.



friendscopy.jpg picture by nhgal2006


"Never take someone for granted. Hold every person
close to your heart because you might wake up
one day and realize that you've lost a diamond
while you were too busy collecting stones."



28999825.jpg picture by nhgal2006

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2009
In reply to: hahadou
Wed, 08-04-2010 - 12:00pm
I dunno. If he really wanted to marry her in the future, he'd say something like "this isn't a good time right now but I really want to marry you someday". He wouldn't just give her an out to end the relationship like he did.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-01-2006
In reply to: hahadou
Wed, 08-04-2010 - 11:56am
My whole point was just that her bf doesn't have a job, has no money saved, etc. I think that is a wrong way to start any kind of committment with another person, whether it's marriage or living together, or just going out exclusively.



friendscopy.jpg picture by nhgal2006


"Never take someone for granted. Hold every person
close to your heart because you might wake up
one day and realize that you've lost a diamond
while you were too busy collecting stones."



28999825.jpg picture by nhgal2006

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2009
In reply to: hahadou
Wed, 08-04-2010 - 11:41am

"Marriage isn't cheap. You need a place to live, pay rent/mortgage, buy household things, put food on the table, pay for utilities, etc. Believe me when I say that's hard to do on one persons salary."

I don't agree with you at all. Marriage (and living together, if you don't already) is less expensive than living separately. You get tax breaks being married and can share belongings rather than supporting yourself alone. And as for paying rent/mortgage, I assume they both do that already. Having a home has nothing to do with marriage.

I've asked all the married guys I know (I was asking these questions years ago), and they all said that when they found the one they wanted, it didn't matter how much money they had. Okay money is a legitimate concern in life but it doesn't override the DESIRE to get married.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-01-2006
In reply to: hahadou
Wed, 08-04-2010 - 10:36am

He's being honest with you. And I don't believe that he will eventually marry the next person that he dates when he is ready.


He has given you a couple of valid reasons why he's not ready to marry, and personally, they are the two most important ones. Marriage isn't cheap. You need a place to live, pay rent/mortgage, buy household things, put food on the table, pay for utilities, etc. Believe me when I say that's hard to do on one persons salary.



friendscopy.jpg picture by nhgal2006


"Never take someone for granted. Hold every person
close to your heart because you might wake up
one day and realize that you've lost a diamond
while you were too busy collecting stones."



28999825.jpg picture by nhgal2006

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-03-2010
In reply to: hahadou
Tue, 08-03-2010 - 8:14pm

they aren't ready to settle down until their light comes on, then they marry the next woman they date.


I kinda of feel so also, cz I saw some cases like this. Why is that? why there are guys who do not want to marry girls who spent hard life with them, but marry hte next girls??

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-03-2010
In reply to: hahadou
Tue, 08-03-2010 - 8:12pm

I am 27, and he is 29.


I cant ask him why he still does not feel settle down. He may still wait for potential wife, yet , I know one reason relates to financial condition, he does not have much savings, and he does not have decent job. Although I told him I dont mind it and he does nto need to worry about it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-16-2010
In reply to: hahadou
Tue, 08-03-2010 - 9:50am

As Miranda once said in an episode of Sex and the City, "men are like taxi cabs" in other words, they aren't ready to settle down until their light comes on, then they marry the next woman they date.

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