confused!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-26-2008
confused!!!
3
Tue, 02-23-2010 - 11:13pm

Here's the scoop. I'm 25, he's 39. We have been hanging out together for 2 years now. First as hanging out friends then we got intimate. We had vacations together and end up spending a lot of time together. A two months ago, I told him how I felt about him. He said he just wanted to be friends because he doesn't deserve my feelings. He wants to be alone for the rest of his life because he has it with "love" and "burnt out."

His solution to the problem is that we should still remain our daily activities but not intimacy anymore. He wants me to keep the feelings I have for him and transform it into friendship. I tried it for a month, I found myself still have feelings for him as much as before and even more. It's so hard to stop caring and loving him.

We went to the movie last weekend, and it suddenly hit me that this guy will never return my love, so why I am wasting my time, effort, love, and energy on something that wouldn't have a positive result. I told him that I need sometime for myself and will contact him later in a couple weeks when I can see myself and him as friends. That was just my excuse, but should I still be his friend???? I just don't know if I can be myself again when I see him. It's so hard just to be just "friends" with someone that I have been intimacy with. PLease lead me to the right direction, because now I have a heartache and in pain.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2004
In reply to: lovedangel
Wed, 02-24-2010 - 5:29am

No one can tell you what direction to go in, that's something only you can figure out.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2008
In reply to: lovedangel
Wed, 02-24-2010 - 12:03pm
I agree with the above post. As women we tend to over think a lot of things esp. in a relationship. Once you take a step back and look at the bigger picture- you will know what you need to do and what you are not willing to settle for. Sometimes the right thing to do is not the easiest thing. Good luck to you - and no matter what- do what is going to be better for you in the long run.... you realized what you did when you did for a reason.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-06-2009
In reply to: lovedangel
Wed, 02-24-2010 - 4:35pm

If it hurts you to be friends with him, that is a sure sign that you shouldn't be friends with him.

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