CONFUSED! What does he really mean?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-17-2003
CONFUSED! What does he really mean?
3
Thu, 04-17-2003 - 10:31am
I need so help for all of ya! I need to know if there is a double meaning behind what my potential guys is saying, or is he just blind to my affection. In the past three months a guy that I like and I have been talking and kissing. No sex, but lots of cuddling. However, because of his work schedule it's not all the time. We are not dating, but I would really like to go out with him. Anyway, he got on my nerves and I thought that he was being an a$#hole. Basically I wrote him an email and said...hey, tell me what's going on between us; do you have feelings for me; should I be out of your life. Anyway, last weekend I went boating with some of my friends and his friends, basically all mutual friends. My best friend talked to him a lot and got the scope, sort of, for me. He brought up the letter I wrote and said that he never knew that I liked him...and then he smiled. Is he lying because he didn't want to talk about me to her? Or is he just so blind that he thought that I didn't like him? Is there a double meaning here that I am missing? We always talk, and can talk about almost anything, but he never brings this up, and I am too shy as well. Are we both too afraid of rejection? We flirt all the time, and I thought that he knew how I felt about him. I thought that the letter would prompt him to say something, even if it was rejection. What should I do? And more important, do you think that he didn't know that I liked him. Advice, please!! :)
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 04-17-2003 - 11:05am
I think that it was a mistake to bring up such an important topic in an email and I think both of you are resorting a little bit, at least, to high school games. I also think you gave mixed signals when you agreed to your arrangement when in reality you wanted more from the start you wanted more - so now he may be confused as to what you want.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-10-2003
Fri, 04-18-2003 - 1:15pm
Sorry pirep! You are out of luck on this one. "He never knew you liked him".

If he's seeing you like a sister or a friend the die is already cast. I think

guys decide fairly quickly whether they are interested in you or NOT. In

this case its' NOT. AND THERE IS NOTHING YOU CAN DO TO CHANGE IT. move on!

The deeper you get into it with this guy the more you'll be hurt. It could

even be so hurtful as to ruin your life. So get outa there quickly!
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2003
Fri, 04-18-2003 - 1:51pm
I have to wonder if maybe he was trying for some type of friends-with-benefits arrangement and realized when got upset that it wasn't going to work...I definitely have dealt with guys giving these type of mixed signals, short of kissing me, and it sucks a lot. I totally understand-they do these little things that get your hopes up and then never follow through. I think maybe the best thing would be just to confront him. Maybe the next time you see him, be a little flirty to put him off-guard, and then just flat out tell him that you like him and you don't want to be just his make-out buddy anymore. There isn't really much he can do at that point except be honest. There is definitely a time to play games, but at this point, the only way to figure this all out is to be brutally direct.