Could you forgive him?
Find a Conversation
|Thu, 02-25-2010 - 8:47pm|
Here's some history of me and my friend. We've known each other a year now, when we met he was dating this girl. Early summertime she cheated and he left her, and we became best friends practically overnight. At the time we lived right around the corner from each other, so it was convenient that we were always right there. So naturally we started hanging out a lot... all the time... almost everyday. Throughout the summer we became even closer, and spending more and more time together, and the summer ended with us partying together every single party... every single time. We partied a lot last summer ;) Every weekend, and often during the week too (please no lectures about partying, we're all responsible and still go to work the next morning and that is what matters at the end of the day). So, we were attached at the hip by the end of summer. I would stay over all the time. Often we would just lay in bed and talk forever, usually about nothing LOL.
October is when we started hooking up. The *ONLY* reason why I decided to go into a FWB situation with him is because he IS the coolest, most laid back friend I had ever had at that point. And out of all guy friends I've had, he would be the easiest to carry out a FWB relationship. I've never entered into a FWB with those strict intentions from the beginning, but I've definitely had relationships that eventually turned to FWB before ending. We understood each other so well, we both knew that it was strictly FWB from the beginning anyways. (And trust me, there is no questioning it... I want kids, marriage and all that, and he wants to move to NYC and not need a car and never get married & kids. So yeah, no question about it that a relationship would lead absolutely nowhere with us).
So not only are we best-best friends, but hooking up also.
Friday the 12th I drove us to an art walk, and a concert. He claimed he was flat broke so I paid for everything which wasn't an issue because we've both done this as a favor to each other when we were broke at the moment and just paid the other person back. I paid for some chocolates we each got that night, and he got into the concert for free (ONLY because he was with me), bought him a few beers at the show, and went back to his house that night. I spent roughly $30 on him that night and drove about 40 miles extra since I had to pick him up since he said he had no gas.
Not a single faint of a thank you. But whatever I blew it off because that is just him, it's not just me that he does it to, so whatever. Saturday the 13th he COMPLETELY blew me off that night. We had made plans earlier in the week to hang out that night because I didn't want to spend Valentines weekend alone by myself lol. Up until 11pm he had been texting me telling me he was still coming. Never heard from him again after 11pm. I just ended up getting pissed off and going to sleep.
Couple days later I went to dinner with a friend after work. My guy friend called and said he'd be around the corner from me and I could stop by after dinner to pick up the money he owes me. Says he'll be at his friends house "for a while". An hour later he calls and says he's leaving. I said give me 5 minutes and I'll be there. He says he's already in his car, so I said fine just swing by where I'm at and drop it off..... his EXACT response..... "that is 3 miles out of my way" (NOTE: as of a few weeks ago he now lives about 20 minutes away, not as convenient as before)
So I pretty much hung up on him when he said that. Seriously? 3 miles out of his way and I drove him all over the place the other night, and loaned him money to have a good time, AND he still got some at the end of the night... and I didn't even get a thank you? And now it's the end of the world that I ask him to go 3 miles out of his way?
It gets better...
Next day we had planned all day that he was going to hide the money outside of his house and I'll just pick it up after work. We started discussing this around noon, and I didn't leave work til' 9. So I get off work, go drive 20 miles out of my way (in the absolute opposite direction of where I live) and look in the spot where he said the money was, and it's not there. I call him and he says "yeeeeeeeeah I forgot to put it there" and before I could say anything else (I think he knows his head was about to get bitten off) he says "and I didn't have time to text you"
Really? Didn't have 20 *seconds* to save me 20 miles, 40 minutes, and 2 gallons of gas for absolutely nothing? SERIOUSLY?!?! It would've taken literally 20 seconds to text and tell me he forgot.
I cut the conversation there. I thought about it for a few moments and sent him a text saying "fine, but since I haven't asked you for a dime of the gas I spent the other day, now I want the 2 gallons of gas I just wasted" and he said no!!!!!!!! NO?!?! Are you freaking kidding me? After everything I've done for him, and I've never asked for a dime for gas, and he says no? That Friday not was nothing special, I've done that PLENTY of times... where I drove around to make sure he's having a good time.
Would you seriously & honestly forgive this? He says it was a mistake and that I'm overeacting. Yes, I went on this huge rant telling him I'm not his POS ex girlfriend who treats people badly, and that I'm actually a GOOD person, and you shouldn't do that to good people. And yeah, he says I'm over-reacting. So after letting that sink in for a few hours, I sent him one last text this past Sunday night saying "fine, if it was a mistake you can make my day this week by asking me to dinner". That was Sunday. No response.
Yes, obviously he has douche baggy moments... but can you honestly say it would be easy to just get rid of the person that you have been attached at the hip with for the past several months? I love the kid to death. There is no chance of a relationship, and our fwb has been going separate ways anyways.
Idk. I am SO torn over this. I feel like I'd be letting myself down by forgiving this... but at the same time, AM I over-reacting? Do you honestly think that was a mistake? I'm hooked on the fact that he didn't take 20 seconds to prevent me from wasting my time like that. That was crappy plain and simple, but he doesn't see it like that.
I appreciate anyone who took the time to read that, trust me, if it didn't matter to me A LOT I wouldn't have typed this whole thing out :D