Crush's New Girlfriend Awkwardness

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2006
Crush's New Girlfriend Awkwardness
Wed, 04-21-2010 - 11:49pm

It's a guy I used to work with. There are a lot of complicating factors, but here’s the gist: I've had an on/off crush on him for the better part of 2 years, but I never said anything to him because A) we worked together and B) he’s been interested in someone else for most of the time I've known him (mind you, this other girl was SO out of his league). We have a ton of stuff in common and he would act a little flirty every once in a while, but then he'd ignore me totally. Anyway, I quit that job last August and he quit in October.

Every so often, a bunch of people we used to work with get together for dinner or whatever. Back in the fall, a new girl who’d just started at the old employer started coming to these little get-togethers. She’s very sweet, but she’s 20 so we have to be careful where we go since she can’t get into bars and such. I’ve only met her a few times, but it’s blatantly obvious she thinks this guy I like is the greatest thing on two legs. And, honestly, I think he’s pretty cool too, so I can’t really blame her. Did I mention he’s 27 and has a 5-year-old daughter with an ex-girlfriend? :)

A couple of weeks ago, the super cute girl he has been chasing forever got married (really unexpectedly). Then, Sunday afternoon I log onto Facebook and *bang* he’s in a relationship with the little 20 year old who’s nuts about him. All of his former co-worker friends are kind of in shock (including me, but for a totally different reason). Oh, and I’m going to a concert with him on May 3, which is now going to be substantially more awkward than it was already going to be :) Any advice on how to keep my cool?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-10-2010
Thu, 04-22-2010 - 1:12am

Do you think there's any chance this guy would be interested in you? I'm thinking no, since he's known you for a couple of years, probably picked up your interest through the flirting, yet keeps going around you for his romantic interests. If that's right, and it makes you unhappy or feeds your hope to be around him, then maybe you should cut off contact. What is the deal about the concert? Is it just the two of you going? Why? We all get crushes, and just like relationships that don't work out, unfulfilled longing hurts. The feelings fade when that person is out of the picture. Then your mind clears and is ready to focus on a more likely prospect. That's my thought on it. Good luck.



iVillage Member
Registered: 08-01-2006
Thu, 04-22-2010 - 7:56am

Sorry, but I don't think he sees you as anything other than a friend. Otherwise, I think, somewhere along the 2+ years you've known each other and flirted, he would have tried to hook up with you as something more.

Why is everyone so shocked that he got together with this other girl? He's on the rebound and it may not last, but it's really none of anyones business. As for the concert, did you each pay for your own ticket? If you won't feel comfortable going with him, then don't.

blackandwhite2.jpg picture by nhgal2006

A little Consideration, a little Thought for Others,
makes all the difference.
Winnie the Pooh

28999825.jpg picture by nhgal2006

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2006
Thu, 04-22-2010 - 5:05pm

Thanks everyone for your advice!