Day 2 W/O Flirting!

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-19-2001
Day 2 W/O Flirting!
1
Tue, 03-05-2013 - 6:13pm

Yesterday, day 1 after telling MB no more flirting didn't go too bad.  He came in the office in the AM as usual for his morning cup of coffee.  Of all days we were alone.  He asked me if our last conversation was enlightening (in other words thats why I told him to stop).  I told him that it wasn't really anything we hadn't discussed before but that I felt it was time I took back control over my life.  He said the flirting was NOT about power, that he just wants to be happy.  My reply was - flirting with me makes you happy?  He said...just seeing you like this makes me happy. That's not the first time he's told me I make him happy either.  I told him that he couldn't have his cake and eat it too.  He asked what I meant by that and I mentioned the casual touches that he had given me(not sexual, just the slight rub on the back, touching my hand, etc.)  He said he wouldn't call that "touching" me.  I told him it was more then I let other men touch me who are just friends.  I told him all is good, that I agree it's messed up with the age difference.  What  I'm really thinking is WTF!!!  I make him happy, he could see himself falling in love with me, we have a lot in common and have this chemistry going on but he'll ignore all that because of my age.  Wow is all I can say.   How many chances does a person get to fall in love and be happy?  Today, day 2 was definitely more strained.  He still come in the office this morning but it just felt all so wrong, almost like we were strangers trying to find something to say when we have never in the past had an issue with finding something to talk about. He gave me a box of his girl scout cookies, but he kind of looked sad and I know I felt sad but think I covered that up well.  Neither yesterday or today did he make his usual 20 trips into the office for various reasons.  I always thought they were excuses to see me and I guess I was right.   I know I did the right thing for both of us.  For me it was too hard emotionally and  I obviously was/am confusing to him.  I just hope we can find a way to push through the weirdness because I really miss him already. Since we never dated I'm hoping that in a few days things will be ok between us.  If not I just have to stick it out a few more months until I move into another office where I will probably rarely see him.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Tue, 03-05-2013 - 9:00pm

Hopefully after an initial period of awkwardness you can go back to being friends.  Flirting with someone when you don't have any intention of following through isn't nice unless both of you can do it.  I flirt with a married dance instructor I have but it's superficial--since I know he's married, it's kind of "safe" and I don't have any thoughts that he would actually do anything.  He is kind of dumb if he really likes you but lets this idea that you are "too old" get in the way.  At least he should give it a chance.  But if he's determined not to then it's not fair to you to act flirty.