Did I turn him down ? Is it just me who thought we could be more than friends...?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-10-2002
Did I turn him down ? Is it just me who thought we could be more than friends...?
2
Mon, 12-23-2013 - 10:25am

Firstly I'm Asian from Hong Kong, probably not being able to writie in decent English, hope you wouldn't mind :) 

I haven't been dating for a while so I guess I'd need help.

I met this guy 3 weeks ago through the g__gle online game "Ing__ss" (a game that requires you to make use of your GPS and physically reach a certain location to play... we are required to play in teams so we had game chat groups for meet-ups of nearby players). He and his coworker were new to the game on the day I met him . He was a chatty person so we've exchanged contacts and became good friends after the meet-up.

We started chatting on skype daily (more than 100 messages/ day)  and hanged out almost 5 days a week for dinner and gaming on the following 2 weeks (just the two of us). He was 
abroad since he was very young so he didn't have a lot of friends here in Hong Kong. I was being frank and told him my age (27) while he asked (he's 24...) me on the 3rd time we met and the age barrier didn't stop him from chatting with me. He's a mature person so I didn't think there's any barrier.

It went quite well even with the age difference. We still chatted as much and hanged out almost everyday until one day when I did not reply him in time.

He told me that he was not so fond of the game and he came here just to hang out with me. He's also asked if I would be interested to catch a movie or hang out not for gaming some day. He probably thought that I've turned him down since I was not around when he sent the above messages. He sent another message after 20 minutes telling me that he meant to meet in groups*. I regretted that I missed his message but I didn't know what to reply. I simply wrote "sure! i'd love to catch a movie someday".

There was a dramatic downturn after this incident.  He became so fond of the game since he joined other players (common friends) for games when I was not available. We still talked but only a few messages / day, every conversation was related to gaming. No more "are you home? you should take a rest xxx" messages from him. He had no more intention to see me apart of gaming. We still meet maybe 3 days a week but he was only asking me to go gaming with his coworker or with a few other people. 

X'mas is coming and he seemed free. I'm wondering if I should ask what he's up to and if he'd like to catch a movie since we're having a few days off here in Hong Kong. I am not sure if it was just me who thought we could be more than friends .....  what do you think? Is that awkward to ask him out when things cooled down?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999

It does seem very strange to me that he asked if you would be interested in seeing a movie and then when you responded yes then he seemed less interested.  I think you should ask him about the movie when you have days off--then you will get a better idea of his interest if he says yes or no.  

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-10-2002
We were always replying very fast. It was almost 2am when he sent me the message to ask me out and i did not response, so he added that he meant to meet in groups, everything seemed to be so awkward after that day. I will try to re-start a conversation with him on skype tomorrow and try to figure something out. I should have just done this earlier. Sigh!