Dilemma

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Dilemma
4
Mon, 03-31-2003 - 5:32pm
Heres my problem:

I am really interested in this guy at my church but i am too shy to approach him.

Him and his family are new to our church,and i knew a little bit about him before he came because this girl i know is dating his brother. I dont really get along with her that well and so i dont talk to her much. A few Sundays ago me and my parents were late for church and so when we walked in the only seats available were the ones at the front. Well when i walked in i saw him sitting with some of his friends *who came with him and his family who i also dont know*. Well church had already started and when we went and sat up at the front and he soon followed but was on the other side. *there is 2 rows* I see him checking me out sometimes out of the corner of my eye but yuesterday when i was waiting to talk to the pastor because she was talking to him..Someone came up and pulled her away to talk and him and i just stood there and didnt say anything. I felt like such an idiot after i walked away. I didnt want to say "HEY HOW ARE YOU?" because i figured that was too pushy and loud. He has been there for almost a month and so i figured one day out of the blue if i just went up to him and shook his hand and said "HI" it might make things a little awkward. I dont think he knows im interested, but the pastor knows because my mom told her i thought he was cute!! I dont want to ask her to "Set us up" because thats just weird..and she wouldnt do it anyways. I want to start talking to him but i dont know how.

Any ideas?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
In reply to: strawberri_69
Tue, 04-01-2003 - 2:21pm
That's kind of an akward situation. But he still doesn't have a clue right? As far as you know though right? So then it's all good. When ever you see him out of the corner of your eye lookin at you, (make sure he's looking at you take a friend or something{it worked for me, but that was in class}) Anyway, flirt w/ him by looking back. He'll notice and if he's not too shy he may say hi to you when his friends aren't around. Otherwise if he is shy, That's where you continue to look back and flirt sundays until you have a chance to say HI when his friends aren't around. K Don't be too obvious so not too many other people notice but be obvious enough that HE notices. Oh and don't forget to dress up extra cute. Don't use too much make up K. :) Good Luck!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: strawberri_69
Tue, 04-01-2003 - 8:33pm
It is a very akward situation! lol I'm getting so frusterated!! lol But no he does have no idea. I mean i sneak a peek every once in awhile , but he definetly doesnt notice, and thats a good thing right? Everytime i see him look at me and i look over, he turns his head away in like 0.5 seconds so i can never do the flirting eye thing. PLus i only notice him starring at me when hes on the drums and i cant go up when everyone is singing and say hello my name is Crystal haha i would look so stupid!! Or when the pastor is preaching. I cant do it then either, i would look more stupid!! And hes always around his friends!! I hate it!! lol I always want to run into him by himself to say hello but hes never alone! I dont wear any make up.. But would it be bad if i did to look extra good? lol

Crystal
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
In reply to: strawberri_69
Wed, 04-02-2003 - 9:37am
Do you know where he goes to school? Does he have to show up to practice on Saturdays or another day with the other musicians? Does he play sports? What subject is he good at in school?

Now I've found that one of the best ways to break the ice is being a little sarcastic, and funny...like after church say to him, "So when are you going to show me how to play the drums? My therapist told me to hit something other than baby seals when I get angry."

If he asks, "Do you really want to learn how to play", say, "Yes" and voila! you'll be able to spend some time with him. Give him your e-mail address (have a pen and some paper in your purse).

If he is good at a particular subject, tell him you are having trouble in that and ask him if you could e-mail him if you have a particular question with your homework. Now if he's interested in you, he'll say he's good in anything you ask...math, science, english, history...just so he can find time to talk with you more.(guys don't generally admit they aren't good at things to girls).

Don't be so worried about being too loud...guys prefer a girl who will talk, especially one who can joke around with guys. Even if you come up to him and his friends and say, "Now I'm confused...if Mary and Joseph got divorced...who would have to pay child support?" Something like this at least starts conversation and is less awkward.

Hope this helps.

Curtis

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: strawberri_69
Wed, 04-02-2003 - 1:55pm
Well he actually has graduated!! :( He actually only plays on Sundays and Wednesday nights. There is another musician,an older women about 35,who plays the keyboard, but no they do not come in on Saturdays because it is closed!! :( I would say i wanted to learn how to play the drums but i dont want to lie! lol He just moved here and so he doesnt have a computer set up..I asked the pastor already and she said no they dont. I am also done school, so i cant really talk about that! lol He seems like a really serious kinda up tight kinda guy too. I want to break that, but i think if i started cracking jokes about mary and joseph he wouldnt find me very amusing! haha I think he is atleast a little interested in me, hes just a little shy himself too. I always see him starring at me from the corner of my eye. Someone also told me one of the main reasons why he hasnt said Hello to me yet is because he is new to the church and im not. I know everyone in there and he doesnt which might make him a little nervous. My mom and my friends said i also might intimidate him alittle and thats another reason why he might not have said hello yet..Is this true? and is it possible to tell if a guy likes you without even having said hi yet? and if so..How?

Thnx a bunch and hope to hear from you SOON!

Crystal