Does she know what is really going on ??

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-06-2003
Does she know what is really going on ??
Tue, 09-02-2003 - 11:04pm
I live in PEI, Charlottetown, met a guy back in Feb. his name is Patrick, nice guy, smart, has money but also very moody and a bit of a temper. We have had some fun off and on early in the year before his girlfriend moved here. I do have a crush on him but it gets more complicated. I have know for sometime that he has a girlfriend, she just moved here 3 months ago. We have not much time since she got here, but have stayed friends. Well just this past week we got together for a coffee, he had told me that he is having some trouble with Rev Canada and a tax issue. He has also told me that his girlfriend is not taking his mothers recent illness very well. His sister does not like her very much and tells him to watch him self with her. I get the feeling he does care about her but has some doubts. He tells me things may have moved to fast and is not sure what to do. He is trying to deal with his mom being so sick, she needs constant care, his girlfriend hardly visits her and complains most of the time. He has not spoken to her much about this, he thinks she will get even more upset since he made her move to PEI from Toronto. I care about him very much and agree he maybe made a mistake and moved to fast. His first priority is his family, he should talk to her and explain. I am not sure if she knows about some money troubles he is starting to have. They both own some property together but she may not be aware about what happened before they met. Maybe she does know and thinks it is OK, but my guess is from the way he talked about it she does not. I am not sure what to tell him. I get the feeling things will get worse before they are better. Shuld he do something or say nothing. What can I do to help him as a friend? So confused.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 09-03-2003 - 9:21am
My recommendation is to just be there. As a person to listen, or a shoulder to cry on. Offer advice if you have any, or just listen. Some people need to talk things through and it *really* helps to have someone to turn to. Just be a friend.

My advice to him, is to talk to her. It may make things worse now, but unless things are put out on the table, they will never work them through. It will just keep getting worse, until it's unworkable. Then it's too late.


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 09-03-2003 - 9:40am
Totally OT, but ...

I *LOVE* PEI!! We used to vacation there as a family when I was a kid! Great beaches - although the water is awfully cold! I hope to make it back someday!


glammie . . . .

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-06-2003
Sat, 09-06-2003 - 3:26am

First of all, the last thing this guy needs right now is to know you have a crush on him. He has too much going on in his life to worry about that. But I will say that I know how it feels.

It seems to me that when you met him, he was lonely and looking for company to help him get through his lonliness. There isnt going to be a whole lot if anything that you can do to help. The most important thing that you can do is to be there for him. He needs someone to listen to him and it seems maybe he cant talk to her.

But let me warn you, if he is looking for someone to feel sorry for him, he will tell you just about anything that he may think you want to hear even if it means making his girlfriend out to be the bad person. I dont know this guy or his motives but it is better to be aware of things in reality than to be living in what could be a lie. I am not sure if his girlfriend knows about his money but there isnt alot you can do about that. That is his personal business and I am sure if it gets to the point that she needs to know he will tell her. In his own way and in his own time, all things will work out for him. The best thing you can do is to just be there when he needs you as his friend.