Feelings being played

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-04-2010
Feelings being played
Fri, 06-25-2010 - 9:55am

I dated a guy several months ago who broke it off. I was going through a divorce at this time. A month later I ran into him while out with another guy. The guy I use to date started texting me while I was out with this guy. I ended up spending the weekend with the ex-boyfriend. Afterwards, he ignored my text and call. I texted telling him not to play with my feelings.

Fast forward two months after that weekend. We ran into each other at a bar but neither was "with" anyone. Each time I got on the dance floor he followed. Once it was only myself, the guy I was dancing with, this other guy, and the girl he was dancing with. I looked up and when he had the entire dance floor he was instead dancing right beside me! I totally ignored him this night. Two weeks later I ran into him again and was on a date and again ignored him.

He texted a friend of ours on Saturday and asked how I was doing. She told him I was okay and that my divorce was final. Said he commented over and over about my divorce being final. Several days later he stopped by our friend's house to talk to her. He again asked about me. Wanting to make sure I was okay and again kept commenting on my divorce being final. I saw him last night and spoke to him. Within 30 minutes after leaving the restaurant he texted me. Just said it was good to see me and that I looked good. We texted back and forth several times. He asked if I was still in town and I told him no. He said it was still nice seeing me.

I texted him this morning "hope you have a good day at work". He read the text but won't reply. What's up with this guy?! Why can't he just leave me alone or us get back together??? I'm in love with the guy and the chemistry between us was incredible!

Okay, so he finally texted back "you too". At least we are talking again. I'm just high on anxiety after the last several months but know I need to slow down.

Edited 6/25/2010 11:08 am ET by startingover10
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-04-2007
Fri, 06-25-2010 - 12:04pm

Don't leave it up to him to determine what you're feeling

He can't give you the relationship you want, so stop texting & checking up on him. Tell your friend you don't want to hear his news.

After divorce, you need to deal with all that. The loss of a marriage, the finding of yourself again.

Good distraction frees us from emotional pain, bad distraction gives you a mouth full of whizz. ~~~ Guru Tugginmypudha
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2009
Fri, 06-25-2010 - 2:49pm
FYI, you are giving signals to him that you're not interested. There's a whole lot of "I ignored him" in your post. I'm not sure what you expect under these circumstances.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-01-2006
Fri, 06-25-2010 - 2:57pm

Why not take this time after your divorce to take time just for you? No need to jum pinto another relationship.

It also sounds to me like there is some game playing going on from both sides. If you like him so much, why not just come out and tell him and stop dating other guys. You need to be talking to him about this and find out what his feelings are towards you.

blackandwhite.jpg picture by nhgal2006

“Every time you smile at someone, it is an action of love,
a gift to that person, a beautiful thing.”
Mother Teresa

28999825.jpg picture by nhgal2006

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-04-2010
Fri, 06-25-2010 - 3:11pm
I have told him how I feel about him and he knows. I ran into him after we broke up and I was with another guy. (I waited a month before I started back dating) The ex boyfriend gave me the impression he had regrets after seeing me and we were getting back together so I stayed the night. I was upfront and told him I couldn't be his one night stand and not to do me that way. THEN he made himself unavailable afterwards. At that point, I texted him and told him not to play with my feelings and that if I needed to move on then tell me. I received no response. Then was when I began ignoring him. I took time out and didn't date after this also. I felt he must not have feelings for me so I saw no reason to avoid places he also goes to when I was on a date. Apparently, it does bother him.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-10-2010
Fri, 06-25-2010 - 3:23pm



iVillage Member
Registered: 06-08-2008
Fri, 06-25-2010 - 4:04pm

Hi starting over...

It sounds like he just wants sex with no strings attached.