Final word on male coworker

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-20-2006
Final word on male coworker
15
Fri, 07-30-2010 - 7:05pm

Hi everyone,

Well I need some advice about my male coworker. We first started messaging one another flirting, joking back and forth. Some conversations were about going out for drinks etc. Now this guy is veryyy shy and I guess at that point he was cute and i had a lil crush. So for maybe 3 4 months messaging eachother bout the dumbest things just to waste time. Then afterawhile i noticed all this going out but he NEVER asked me out to lunch or coffee or anything. So I pulled back and didn't want to waste time. So our messages slowed down to nothing.He never takes lunch. But the other day he went with other coworkers to play ball during lunch. Well its completely find that he did good for him. But the whole principle was if u have time to do that or go out after work. What the hell is the prob to ask me to hang out if u really wanted to get to know me!! Im soo over him now. I feel used and im annoyed how everytime hes around and Im talking to someone he'll always say a comment, prob to get my attention. or if im talking to a guy frined of mine he'll shake his head and look my way. Like im soo lost!! he's def immature and has no B*lls,(xcuse me for my English). Like seriously go after smthing if u want it!!, Ehh watever I dont like getting played with and i just wanna message him and tell him y he always butts in my convos ( as a joke). I dunno what to do!!! I try to not be the one to speak and go on about my day not paying him any mind. But its hard!

THanks for hearing me out!

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-10-2010
Fri, 07-30-2010 - 9:13pm
I think that's
Photobucket

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2007
Fri, 07-30-2010 - 9:32pm
Curlybabe, I agree you are being too harsh on him. It was just a bit of flirting and nothing more.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-20-2006
Fri, 07-30-2010 - 9:38pm
I agree I mean call it what it is "passing time", but when it happens alot I tend to start liking someone, and build a bit of feeling toward that person and it hurts when someone is always joking back and forth and nothing happens in the long run. I feel used!, I understand people always flirt but it confuses me like is he interested in getting to know me genuinely or is he wasting time. It hurts if I like someone but they don't do anything about it. and I don't know why I obsess over that person. It's different if 2 friends flirt and they know they are not into one another. Like why say all these things, like he would say bye beautiful in italian to me or wave as he leaves. I don't get it! and I hate gray areas its either u like me yes or no! if not then let me be. Thats just my personality. =)
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2004
Fri, 07-30-2010 - 10:05pm

I agree with the others,

Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-10-2010
Fri, 07-30-2010 - 10:09pm
Yes well I can see that if you kind of fall for somebody, then that's it and not really something you can control. And then of course you'd be disappointed if it never progressed. What do you think about sending him a text or something to the effect of to let you know when he wants to go get that drink? Or flat out ask him to meet you for a drink on such and such night at such and such place. He could have misread
Photobucket

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-01-2006
Fri, 07-30-2010 - 10:49pm

Sorry, but I have to agree with everyone else. He has done nothing wrong. The two of you "flirted". You started getting feelings for him and instead of doing something about it, like ask him out for a drink or something, you chose to sit and wait for him to make a move. Well, if he's "shy" then you must have realized that he could just be afraid of asking. He's not a mind reader and doesn't know that you've kinda fallen for him.


Part of the problem is your statement, It hurts if I like someone but they don't do anything about it. Just how is he supposed to know how you feel if you don't tell him!



friendscopy.jpg picture by nhgal2006


"Never take someone for granted. Hold every person
close to your heart because you might wake up
one day and realize that you've lost a diamond
while you were too busy collecting stones."



28999825.jpg picture by nhgal2006

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-20-2006
Sat, 07-31-2010 - 2:36pm
Thank you ALL for your input =). I Do agree with Coconuts view and I also agree with the rest of you that it's just "flirting" I get that but I cant help myself if I start to Feel a little something from that flirting, I am single and it does feel good when I receive that attention from a guy period.. I guess I shouldn't of continued it expecting it to get further but I know i'm a catch so why not be myself and if he genuinely liked me he would have courage to get together. Our personalities are both SHY for one. I Do feel he is getting my attention back like a lil school boy would with a girl he bothers. I try not to overlook at things with too much detail but why is it when i speak to other guys at work he tends to look my way or does smthing silly to get my attention! I don't get it.. But I could of asked him for a drink if I wanted too but he is Also Hot and Cold so I feel like why bother. not to sound mean but I need a Man not a little boy. As of now we don't message each other anymore over IM. It could be confusing for me, and I know myself most likely I'll just let it be and continue to work. I feel like if something is mean to happen it will eventually. I know we are not mindreaders but I dont want to feel like a fool, if he thinks its just "flirting" and he would not want to get together. What makes it more awkward is that we work on the same floor. and on the same side of the floor lol. I'm a bit OLD school and believe if you want something you will go over hills to get it!! I know some of you are probably going to be like Girl wake up and smell the coffee!! lol =), its just me!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2004
Sat, 07-31-2010 - 3:27pm

<>

Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-20-2006
Sat, 07-31-2010 - 7:46pm
I understand not everyone is a catch for everyone I agree with that. I guess I feel really embarassed and unsure to talk to him and ask him for a drink or what not, the way things are now it went from like always messaging back and forth to me pulling back to just hi bye and his sarcastic comments inbetween. I'm just really confused on what to do I def. dont want to make him feel awkward and I have no idea how he feels about me or what is going on cuz I always feel unsure with him cuz hes very shy and im stubborn also. Sometimes i'm annoyed of the fact that I have to put the effort in, I guess I have a fear with guys because I always get screwed over and that's what makes me put my guard up. I hate being a girl at times because these thoughts are always running on my mind but I control my mind and sometimes in life we have to take a risk if we are willing too. Thanks for your advice your straightforward and at times I need advice from outsiders. =)
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-25-2010
Sun, 08-01-2010 - 2:44pm

Hi what do you mean screwed over?

>>>> I guess I feel really embarassed and unsure to talk to him and ask him for a drink or what not, the way things are now it went from like always messaging back and forth to me pulling back to just hi bye and his sarcastic comments inbetween<<<<<
Hmmm does it not seem that you and he are the same?

>>>>Sometimes i'm annoyed of the fact that I have to put the effort in, I guess I have a fear with guys because I always get screwed over and that's what makes me put my guard up.<<<<<
What do you mean?

xvx Pictures, Images and Photos


Pages