Friend zone??

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2005
Friend zone??
3
Wed, 04-07-2010 - 8:58pm
So, I've been friends with this guy for 2 1/2 years. We worked together up until November when we both got new jobs. He has been a really great friend and we always laugh and have fun together and we have SO much in common. Without hesitation I can say that he is probably the best guy I've ever met. He has never hesitated to compliment me or make me feel good about myself, and I'm a larger girl, so it really feels good when someone like him (cute and skinny)says things like that. I've always been told "you have such a pretty face," but that's it. I really have no self-confidence, and when he tells me "can I just say, that you look really great," it breaks my heart because I don't think I deserve to be with a guy like him and I feel like he is just saying that to be nice. I know his ex and she is complete opposite of me, skinny and gorgeous. I've had feelings for him for quite a while and I just don't think I can bring myself to say anything. I don't want to ruin our friendship, and I don't want to go on feeling helpless and heartbroken. I've tried to let it go and move on, I've seen him once in the last 3 months. I've prayed that these feeling would go away, but they just won't and it's tearing me up inside. I'm stuck in the friend zone aren't I?
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2010
In reply to: jaynad87
Wed, 04-07-2010 - 9:38pm
I don't think there's enough here to say if he would be interested in more or not. Was he with the other girl when you worked together? In other words, was there a reason he would have not asked you out during those 2 1/2 years if he had been interested? The good sign is that he seemed to have given you plenty of compliments of a personal nature. Have you dropped any hints, asked him out, made any kind of overtures to him and if so how did they go?
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2005
In reply to: jaynad87
Thu, 04-08-2010 - 1:55am
Yes he was with his g/f for about a 1 1/2 in the middle of the 2 1/2 years of working together. I haven't dropped any hints or anything simply for the fear of making a great friendship awkward. We've hung out outside of work and have gone to a concert or movie together, and have a great time, but it's only ever just as friends. I'm not stalkerishly obsessed or anything, but he is a guy that I could seriously see a future with.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-06-2009
In reply to: jaynad87
Fri, 04-09-2010 - 4:11am

You're not necessarily in the friend zone.

My sister was friends with a lovely guy. They lived in the same building, hung out with the same people, etc. Nothing happened for the first couple of years, but then it blossomed.

They're getting married in September :O)

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