Friends?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-02-2008
Friends?
7
Tue, 06-15-2010 - 6:30pm

I think men and women can be platonic friends.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-10-2010
In reply to: tewey2008
Tue, 06-15-2010 - 7:34pm

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-01-2006
In reply to: tewey2008
Tue, 06-15-2010 - 7:53pm
You've only dated off and on. Was it ever discussed that you could both see other people? I would usually say that you could be friends, but, in this case I don't think so. You've had sex, and it sounds like you're feeling more for him than he is towards you. To me, what you had was a FWB situation. He's not looking for a long-term committed relationship.



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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2007
In reply to: tewey2008
Wed, 06-16-2010 - 3:06am

Coconut is right on the money. You don't want him as a friend, you want him as a boyfriend. Therefore, being just friends won't work.

>>was I right or wrong to be upset with him for having platonic girl friends?<<

Given that you weren't in a committed relationship with him, you were absolutely wrong in getting upset that he has female platonic friends. Even if you WERE in a committed relationship, it's still OK for him to have casual female friends as long as he has appropriate boundaries with them.

>>"so you have a choice between not being intimate with me and caring about my feelings and you chose not to be intimate with me." He got upset and left.<<

I'm not surprised he got upset and left. You've twisted this argument very much to make him the bad guy. In reality, his choice was "be intimate with Tewey and not be with platonic female friends at parties" or "not be intimate with Tewey". Given that you and he are not an item, you were behaving quite unreasonably.

>>I explained that I thought conflict was inevitable, and always someone is in the wrong where there's conflict. <<

Why must somebody be in the wrong if there's conflict? Why can't the couple agree to disagree and respect each other's opinions? It's only 'right fighters' who must have a win/lose argument.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2004
In reply to: tewey2008
Wed, 06-16-2010 - 7:14am

I do believe men and women can be platonic friends but I agree with the others in this case, I doubt a friendship is going to work out.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2009
In reply to: tewey2008
Wed, 06-16-2010 - 10:04am

Please listen to coconut.

I agree that women and men CAN be platonic friends, given the right circumstances, but it doesn't apply here.

You should be honest with yourself about what you ultimately want. Fooling yourself is only going to be a waste of your own time and heartache. If you can't get what you want by being direct and straightforward, it's not usually worth striving for.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-02-2008
In reply to: tewey2008
Wed, 06-16-2010 - 5:20pm

Hey, thanks for your responses.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-22-2006
In reply to: tewey2008
Tue, 06-22-2010 - 5:14pm

Just because he has high sexual tension with you doesn't mean he wants an actual relationship with you, regardless of what you want.

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